jealous

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Williamsclaude, Aug 29, 2018.

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  1. Williamsclaude
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    I know it is not an endearing trait but the honest truth is that I am becoming a little jealous of all the male subs on here who are lucky enough to have beautiful wives who are keeping them in chastity.

    I'm also curious to hear how you guys started your journey out with your better halves. And I also wouldnt mind hearing from the female perspective from some of you Goddesses who have your husbands or boyfriends locked.. what attracted you to the idea, how were you convinced or was it even your idea.

    I need to have this type of relationship for myself but its so hard to find!
     
  2. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Active member

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    I introduced as a way to stop masturbating, but my wife became attached to it and it has stayed. For us, it is a practical solution that offers some fun, while addressing specific needs that my wife has.
     
  3. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    Don't let the green eye monster over come you mate. As an alpla male who is a natural switch with a wonderful partner who is as vanilla as it comes. We all wish for what we can't have and always over look what we do have.

    Figure out how to make lemonade if life gives you a lot of lemons, just remember one needs to provide a bit of sugar to make it super sweet ....

     
  4. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I went out with her for a few months before i told her of my need to be controlled. Where it went from there was up to her. She liked me alot and gave it a try and liked it.

    I was open, honest, and let her decice where it went once she had control. I think many make the mistake of hiding what they need, they wait so long and then by the time they tell them they feel lied to and that don't even know you. Then they not only have to get over the oddness of chastity, but deal with the fact they felt lied to. So i suggest letting someone get to know you enough that its serious, but not so long where they are upset that you held something back. Kinda like information so they know whether to stay or go. If this isn't something that is going to pass, this is who you are, then it makes sense that they get the option of walking, or staying with eyes wide open.

    I would think its a whole different animal bringing this up to a partner that you are already married to. I usually suggest those men aske them to do them a favor and hold the keys to your device...thats it, let them evolve at their own pace and take it where it feels comfortable for them.

    So as far as finding a relationship that involves all this, in my opinion it starts with finding a relationship and then informing them of your true self. If they stay, you will have your keyholder and flr, no different than saying you want kids. If you said that you can't see yourself in a relationship without children and she had no intension of having them, she would wish you luck and be on her way. If you say you are sexually submissive and want a chastity based female led relationship, and she can't see herself being that person, she will wish you luck and walk away. If this is a deal breaker for you, let her know when you two start getting serious and see how she responds.
     
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  5. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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    Thats good advice for couples starting out now but in my case when i met my wife so many years ago i hadnt even heard of things like this let alone her. The biggest thing is the need to be as honest as you can be upfront, talking is paramount and by hopefully broaching the subjects up early enough in a relationship it gives both partners the opportunity to either engage with the notion or shoot the idea down totally. Whatever happens for you i do hope you find the one to help you lead a fullfilled and happy life.
     
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  6. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    My wife and I had been together for 11 years before I discovered chastity and asked her to lock me up 3 years ago. We have always had a strong relationship and trust in eachother so that made asking her easier even though it was still nerve wracking. She was unsure at first but after I gave her some good literature from the female perspective and after reading that she was onboard. We've been living this lifestyle for the past 3 years and we've had a lot of fun. There's been lots of ups and downs as even now we are still figuring out our roles.

    Having been with my partner for quite a while we had already built up a great foundation. One thing I always warn people against when they're looking for a partner and want to involve chastity is to make sure you're not putting your kink before your relationship. Make sure to solidify your relationship before even bringing up chastity otherwise she'll just feel like you're using her for your kink. You'd probably have better luck finding a partner who's into this or more open minded to it on sites like fetlife.com or similar fetish sites.
     
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  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    To be honest, there will be some of the posters on here who are inventing their keyholders and relationships. Just bear that in mind. There's a lot of fantasies being explored here, and in different ways.
     
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  8. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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    what surely not! people pretending to be what they are NOT? it could never happen here could it? lol
     
  9. tqbartleby
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    tqbartleby Active member

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    Early in our martiage, I opened up to my wife about my taste for spanking (on the spankee side, of course). She was non-judgmental but didn't otherwise respond. Years later I brought it up again and she tried to get into it, but I messed it up by engaging in what I later learned is called bottoming from the top. So that fizzled.

    Fast-forward more years. By now I had been reading and thinking about submisdion and female-led relationships. I started to behave like a submissive husband without saying anything. Super-attentive, deferential, putting her needs first. She reacted well, of course, but since it was non-explicit nothing was said and I'm not sure how conscious she was of the change.

    I'm not recommending stealth submission, necessarily. It worked for us as a phase but that's only in hindsight. In general it's probably not a great idea to introduce hidden fantasies secretly into a relationship. But of course there's nothing wrong with working on one's behavior to be more respectful and helpful.

    Anyway, the day came when I sat her down and explained to her that I believed I was naturally submissive and would love to live that role with her explicitly. She was intrigued. I referred to her various beginner-level explanations on the web, which she read.

    I proposed we start an FLR, wherein she would explicitly have decision-making authority in all matters and I would do her bidding, including the housework.

    I emphasized that it was all to be judged by her satisfaction, and she could put an end to it whenever she wanted--so there was no risk of losing the relationship we already had.

    I also said she could expect sexual service on-demand with no reciprocity expected. That got her attention. She was skeptical I would really go through with that so she had us begin immediately.

    And that's where are today, happily ensconced in our FLR. We started using orgasm control and she really enjoyed wielding that power. Eventually I suggested chastity. She wasn't keen on it at first because the clear plastic model I got first looked forbiddingly "medical" to her--not a turn-on. So that fizzled. A while later I showed her pictures of a custom-made, metal cage and she thought it looked "elegant." That's what I wear today. At first she was just humoring me but she's gradually gotten into it.

    All this over a 30+ year marriage. Patience is a virtue. ;-)
     
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  10. tqbartleby
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    tqbartleby Active member

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    Erratum: I said "bottoming from the top" in the post above but I meant "topping from the bottom."
     
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  11. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    I’m sorry that your Jealous but their is very little we can do about it.

    I’ve been with mr wife for 38years and married for 33. We have been playing with Chastity for around 8 years, full time Locked for the last 2. So you see it takes a lifetime of being committed to loving someone even before Chastity was introduced.

    Find someone that you can Love,Honour and Cherish for ever than when you introduce your kinky side to her it won’t be such a shock.

    My sympathies go out to people like you that want and crave being locked in a device and are still trying to find the Love of their Life, it must be very difficult for you and for your lady friends when Chastity is introduced early in a relationship.

    We started Chastity after many years together because I decided it was her turn to have the orgasms and not mine, she excepted the offer and ran with it and that’s how we arrived at where we are today. A happy couple where I serve her needs and desires
     
  12. luvinlocked
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    luvinlocked Member

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    Yes, I agree with you that us guys that have wives as our keyholders are a very lucky few. I don’t think either one of us really knew what chastity was but we are open minded and willing to try anything. We seen devices at adult book stores and we asked about them, we bought 1 and the rest is history
     
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  13. MJM
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    MJM Member

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    I’m so lucky. My partner had a previous boyfriend that introduced her to the idea. Think she might have freaked out at the time and ditched him. Poor guy hehe. Then she later meets me, finds out I love denial and introduces me to the cage.
     
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