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Is monogamy possible with chastity?

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Benni, Sep 6, 2017.

  1. new to the chastity thing- agreed to be key holder for my boyfriend of 3 years- however I want monogamy - is this possible or are multiple partners a requirement of chastity ?
    Mash2214, spider203 and Felix cum ea like this.
  2. Despite the many threads here on the subject, I would say most have a strictly monogamous relationship.

    I will say, that it is a common enough theme, I would say mostly because one of the ultimate acts of submission is to surrender your rights to any decisions to her sexuality. Don't get me wrong, giving my own sexuality away is a big act of submission, but to do that AND be able to let go of pride and let her pleasure matter more than yours is huge.

    My kh has not decided to go that route, and she said she doesn't plan on it. We discussed it and agreed that if she ever wanted to explore that, we would discuss it first. It isn't something I want to happen, but not something I would be hurt if she wanted to explore. No sneaking, no lying, and open communication.
  3. There are no requirements.

    You can blaze your own trail and be a Key Holder any way that you see fit.

    What do you want it to be?
    Benni and manintyres like this.
  4. First, welcome @Benni@Benni! To answer your question, that's how I started keyholding as well, with a previous bf introducing me to it. Needless to say, I embraced it wholeheartedly and are currently enjoying it and its benefits --as well as finally being able to have an outlet for my dominant personality, which was something I had suppressed before. I remain monogamous when in romantic relationships, but I realize I've become increasingly demanding and I have since taken another sub. The results have been very positive for everyone so far, although I believe I will eventually settle with the one man who's able to keep up with me and make me happiest... ;)

    Best of luck, and let us know how things progress for you and your bf!
    bethanise, Mash2214 and Benni like this.
  5. In real life I don't see a problem in combining male chastity with a monogamy life style.

    I think most of us here at the CM are living that life style.

    There is nothing against exploring other roads, when these explorations are well discussed between you both and commonly agreed upon.

    The bond between you both comes first, all the rest might come later or not at all, but that is up to you both.

    There are no set rules you have to follow, male chastity is about what a man wants to do for you, for you both as a couple.

    It is all about you as a couple, not about what you read on the internet.

    In my case for example my wife just likes me to not masturbate, to be always there for her and that is what makes me happy: knowing that she is happy with who I am for her is what makes me happy. That is all that counts for us.

    Sure, there is a lot of kink on the internet regarding chastity, but this is nothing more than kink on the internet and should never influence the relationship you have as a couple.

    Good luck in your journey and please go your own journey, no one or no thing on the internet should decide for you how to make your journey, it is up to you both, and you both only.

    Embrace the male chastity fact in your relation and work from that to make you both more happy, that is what counts.
    Keuschling, iome343 and Benni like this.
  6. That's
  7. Absolutely! My husband and I have found chastity as a tool to bring us closer together and have a more intimate, honest relationship. No one else, just the two of us :)

    Best wishes
    amayesclavo, Benni and Mascara^Snake like this.
  8. I don't think me or my wife would ever even consider involving other people in our sex lives, and we've been benefiting from chastity for two years. Monogamy and chastity are definitely compatible. Probably more compatible than it would be with anything else. Chastity with multiple partners sounds like it would be very tricky and likely to cause a lot of problems.
    Benni likes this.
  9. Dear Benni welcome to the Mansion.
    In answer to your question;
    Once you have him securely locked then really its entirely up to you what sort of relationship you want.
    You'll need to discuss it of course but the final word should be yours.

    And do feel free to ask whatever questions you like as things progress.
    Mash2214 and Benni like this.
  10. Monogamy is quite normal. Certainly true for us, and we've been doing this for nearly 5 years. Non-monogamy gets a high profile because it's more complicated and more boast worthy than the alternative.
    SubSnuggler and Benni like this.
  11. Thank you my friend!
  12. I'm not w
    I'm not exactly too sure yet, it's all kind of new and exciting to me ...definitely curious
  13. Welcome to the mansion. You've just started on a Journey that you can control as much as you want. If you want to keep it monogamous than you can. Chastity has no rules it's what You make of it. In my relationship we were monogamous for many years untill my Mistress decided to bring someone else into the relationship. If your Boyfriend wants Chastity and you to be his KH Than do with it what you want. Have Fun
    Benni, Allen1987 and RexVa like this.
  14. Hi There,
    I met my wife when we were 15 years old. I am going to be 57 this year. Married my childhood sweetheart. Married 37 years, chastity for the last 5 years.
    I have to say I am happier now than ever. I started it when I told her she would always be the only one for me. It can be quite a ride when you focus on
    some one else and not yourself.

    You make the rules no one else
    Benni and Mash2214 like this.
  15. Wow your life is like a reflection of my own. I started dating my wife when she was 15 I was 17, I'm 55 been together ever since. Bee n playing with Chastity for 7 years 3.5 years ago I totally committed to pleasing her and I love the direction our life has taken. Like I said Wow a reflection
    Allen1987 and Benni like this.
  16. I should think that monogamy is the reality based aspect of chastity. Many on this thread have said that it is the keyholders choice, which it absolutely is. Another popular thread however, is how to get more women into the discussion and actively involved in chastity. I am not in anyway putting down anyone's kink or fantasy, but aren't there separate forums for those interests. If chastity denial has ANY chance at all to become somewhat mainstream, I think that selling it to our wives and GFS should be through the concept that appeals to them the most...equality. Or in this case, a chance at getting the upper hand and achieving a monogamous relationship.
    Benni and Mash2214 like this.
  17. I don't understand where the idea that there are requirements for chastity has come from. You do what you want to do. The only requirement is that you make the rules yourself. As soon as you start thinking that you have to do something because somebody else told you that you have to do it it's time to give up.

    Of course there are non monogamous relationships of all sorts of types that also integrate chastity into their lifestyle, but that doesn't mean it is a requirement.
  18. I have to say all good points. When I started this is was because I'm 5" 7' and weighed 209 lbs. Though exercise and no more garbage food I am 145 lbs. at a party some women were talking about me in a way that bothered her. I bought a device.wore at work and when I could. On her birthday I gave her the key and told her what she meant to me. No planning involved and here I am sitting here with a full belt on waiting for her to come home. Don't know how I got here, but when you open the door you find out more about yourself and see others different. To give up the sexual side of things opens up a different train of thought that I can't explain. I don't feel any less a man, just someone that really wants to be told how I can please her and know I am where I belong. A simple question that can lead to things that you can not know till you get there.