In at the Deep End

Because I've decided to come over all lovesick* - in a way that belies my true rugged exterior - on the most auspicious of slushy weekends, I decided to give a Star Wars makeover to the rules my keyholder has recently approved. I wrote them (well, summarised) he made them better.

The reason? Well partly because I'd already decided to name the accompanying spreadsheet First Order (I might share that later - but hey you've got to keep some stuff personal). But the main reason was - well, I can't be the only one who sees the resemblance between the First Order flag and a certain painful chastity device?



Kalis' Teeth anyone? (I wonder what JJ Abrams gets up to in his spare time...)

Can't be long before it's out on home release soon

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* Lovesick: unhappy because of love : feeling weak, foolish, or unhappy because someone you love does not love you. [Biology is a strange strange thing - Especially when it still gets caught with being 'love struck' on the way up.]**
** Every now and again I even outweird myself - Normal service will be resumed shortly...

 

One ring size down from last time and device slippage again. My shaft is still firmly encased in the cage but just as I was closing my eyes to sleep last night I lelt a testicle come out. But, as I was waking this morning it went back in again... Sadly, I also think the other one is missing in action.

Have left an email going through the devices options and settings to my master and asked how he would like me to try fitting them for best security. The device is still secure and currently fitted however I'm not sure it would survive something like a shower - where it had to hang freely.

Fortunately I was given until tomorrow to adjust the device and make it fit/comfortable for the beginning of a long task-based lock up. However, yesterday afternoon I was also requested to submit the combination lock password and delete mine - so I have no easy way out of the device. Short of pulling and yanking - which will again not help me get back in to reset for 'Lock' (lock667).

If I can get everything else right the device might even be comfortable to wear too judging by the weekend wear. I'm considering throwing all of my other underwear out.

In a slightly less odd mood this morning - but that was mostly down to putting all of my eggs in one basket (again) regarding life issues. Which is both a barmy and brilliant thing to do at the same time. We shall see what today brings - but it is all going to be down to a matter of timings as to who is going to be where and when. So patient readers (if there are any of you still here - you might have to wait another week to find out the results.

As to chastity. well, it still seems like we're looking for the right settings and combinations. The good news though is that Lock has had some ideas which should be arriving in the post with my new (physical) lock in the form of some of his old devices that may do the job far better. In the mean time we shall just have to wait and see.

Sundays are always a busy day for me. For instance I need to get up and go out right now...

 

Home. Showered. Trying to fit in the Seed Pod. (Not succeeding.) Waiting for keyholder to wake up and read his emails. Ugh,

Some dry flaky skin on the underside of testicles too - yet I might need to use the Vice on an evening tighter setting if I want to stay in it.

Seed Pod works slightly differently so I'm going to still persevere with trying to get that on but both testicles won't play (well) ball together.

 

Three days - To work through as many combinations of The Vice as I can fit into and then try to actively break out of them with permission.

Then on Wednesday whichever one works the best - I'm stuck in.

I'm intrigued by the psychological effect this his having on me. Both, in that Lock was disappointed in me as keyholder and that in three days I may know that one configuration (that I'm wearing at the time) is pretty much undefeatable.

Disappointing Lock, my keyholder, is never good idea. But I'm surprised, how much this early on - and in a remote relationship I don't want to. He so far spent good time and been understanding to my needs even sending on some stuff for free - and this is how my testicles repay him? I should want to run away from someone who'se sole purpose in life is (seemingly) to stop me gaining sexual pleasure. But I actually want to please him. (I know I'm typing this on a chastiy forum - full of like minded people) but its an odd dynamic, right?

The psychology of finding a setting in one of my devices that I can not defeat - even when trying - is more understandable. I've never really treated chastity, or this site, as a game - although sometimes a tool - but there's a difference to being locked into a device which you know you might be able to pull out of if you really tried and one which you've tried to and still can't.

I know our next session is planned to be long with a hard weightloss goal attached as the only way of release. Come Wednesday once that key locks there may be absolutely no doubt in my mind that is coming off again until Lock says so. I know its what I wanted but its still quite tough knowing that there is no way out and you've given up the right to give up.

Still at least that's one problem dealt with for today. The other one won't start until the evening. Between now and then I have the usual set of Sunday meetings and by the sounds of it quite a few combinations of devices to try...

Might give the Seed Pod one final try whilst I've got time to trial it for a couple of nights then work though the settings of The Vice. I've been told shorten the Spacers first then start going down ring sizes...

Had better go..

 

New spreadsheet - New danger...
There are 64 possible different configurations of The Vice.

If i automaitcally rule out the largest XL ring I can take out a quarter of them immediately.

Lock had said to keep going with the current ring (L) and shorten the spacers. But I think the ring 'might' have been the issue as I was nowhere near the device at the time (well I was, but you see what I mean). The medium ring at the time was however pretty uncomortable...

Right traction and action - told you I was a lot better with a speadsheet in front of me and a plan to devise from it...

 

Thank you. - Though today I can't even get on the ring I've been wearing for the last two days. Even though 'they' wanted out last night...

Might have to give it a break for an hour or two and try again.

Have got the medium ring on but it never settled and became comfortable before trying the cage (like you suggested above). So I guess that means I'm supposed to be using the large ring - or, possibly, just being wussy with the medium.

Tis a pity they refuse to settle easily.

Is annoying but not depressing. Frustrating definitely (which is ironic).

 

Update:

Lock wanted me to spend the next couple of days working through device settings in free time to decide on one that would finally stay on.

Turns out that what I discovered is that one of my testicles is about half the size of the other.

This raises interesting questions of its own and not ones related to chastity. Time for a swift Google to see how abnormal that is...

 

To be honest I'm not much of a testicle fondler. Much prefer my partners parts when I have one.

Been talking it through with Lock. Still a bit disconcerting to discover.

 

Today testicle panic (nearly) over, I decided that having ruled The Vice out for the time being as either too big or small, I ought to try out the Seed Pod. Took a while to lock, but when it did it was secure. Trouble is I couldn't quite tell whether both testicles had made it this time or not.

Spring cleaning the house proved to me a bit of an adventure as the device never quite settles and doesn't like bouncing up or down. It's been about 10 years since I was last a regular member at a gym, but Monday I start again (my body just about repaired enough to cope after a fairly major op). This device however could garotte me if worn during exercise. Or is the correct word: circumcise?

Having been comfortable for a while I decided it was safe to throw the keys into the Kitchen Safe knowing that I would not be doing any more testing till the Spiral arrives tomorrow and I can pick it up on my rounds. It's the closest device I could find to the one my Keyholder suggests: steel, fairly light and simple, and by the looks of it - tiny. Definitely a change from the roomy Pod, or, even Vice... . Readers of this thread will probably know by now however that when I suggest locking up without a key - there is usually trouble ahead.

... I could tell the device was more painful than usual as the day drew on and sat gingerly through dinner trying not to betray what was going on to the company around me. But something was digging in and I knew I wasn't likely to be able to get to it through the bars. After dinner there were two options: Smarten myself up for going to the cinema with a friend, or, risk removing the device - or at least trying to. Decided to smarten myself up. Especially as if I had only got half way through when she came knocking - how was I going to explain being half in and out of a lump of metal whilst we needed to get going ... Not the way I had planned on announcing my chastity to the world.

Nothing was said but the entire trip there in back in cars and at the cinema was spent very slumped into a chair. All was well but there was a constant pinch and movement suggesting that things could go badly wrong at any moment. The only real problem in the end was when I got home and tried to use the bathroom. My penis stuck somewhere against an inner ring... Managed to contain the after spray - but it couldn't be avoided. The pinching continued and it became obvious that a ball had (well) dropped.

This led to the decision of whether to try to tough it out for the next 24 hours plus or try to remove it. I went for remove. I'm not looking for imaginative and creative ways to get the sack from work... . My penis came out first, then slowly the balls and a lot of spare skin which was both tender and toughened up by being bounced around in the cage all day. Bit sad it failed - but maybe it is now time to retire the device. Still you never forget your first.

Tomorrow it all starts again. Simple, clean, and if Uberkinky are to be believed made of Body Safe Steel meet the Spiral - As close to keyholder recommended as I could find:

 

Today feels different.

I think that it has a lot to do with the impending lock up period.

The Spiral should be ready to pick up in about two hours and the lock free from 10pm.

Point of no return?

 

So after a slight misunderstanding over ways of sending daily reports. Lock has decided that this should become the official place for daily reports. In the sense of getting a general sense of my well being/mood. So those hoping to escape slightly random posts veering from factual device information to over-sharing relationship bleurghhhh - maybe disappointed. (But then again if that's the case: Why exactly are you still reading this?)

[Oppps - There goes my last reader.]

There is a spreadsheet with more detailed logging information, but at the moment that is not public domain. Half tempted to link to it in my profile signature, but for the moment there's something's which can stay between key holder and sub.

Not have a new device, the Spiral, and have almost got it to fit. Except for 'that' pesky ball still isn't threading all the way through. Need to find a way of isolating it and simply forcing it in. I thought I had it when I tried wearing it over dinner. But the device pressing onto the escaped (well never actually there) testicle was squeezed/crushed in increasing measure. It feels (unlike my other devices) that success could just be a step away. But I still have no idea of how to get there. Had to spend a lot of the evening out too so didn't really get a chance to fit properly but currently feel both so close and yet so far away.

Two other things:

1) Shaving - It happened. The expected blood bath didn't happen. But I still wouldn't choose to put anything sharp near there for any reason. Hopefully Lock will be happy with the result. As I said to him its 'psychologically interesting'. Even though its not exactly body modification, and by that nature neither it is permanent, it does get into your head space. Well mine anyway.

Overall, tis' done now - so keeping a clean sheet as far as I can... Though this is definitely the furthest it has strayed off weight loss (so far).

2) Leading on from '1' - With the new device 'almost' working, the shaving and an indefinite locking period. There's lots of things swirling around my mind at the moment. I'm not saying that means that I want to run away. But I wouldn't be being honest to the spirit of these posts if I didn't bring it up either.

Think I have too much time to think about all of this. If the device just snapped on and went we'd probably be far away by now. Still you can only live where you are at the moment.

An on that very near pop-psychology magazine quote, I shall stop typing and wait to see how Lock responds to my private email. Or as I said above - what I type here too. (Must learn to filter myself and fast ... like that's going to happen.)

 

Why...?

Got home early from a meeting so decided to try and fit the Spiral in the shower. As I've tried that in the past with a modicum of success and also Lock thinks that it is a good idea.

Both balls went in. You could both feel them and go and see from the positioning. Result. Only now my penis was proving obstinate. After much wrestling I decided to leave the testicles in the cage, dry off as much of me as I could and retire to the bedroom where I could approach things from a different angle.

T'was too late though and the escapees had done there work setting at least one of them off and on the road to freedom.

A subsequent attempt was also reasonably successful. Even managed to get the lock on but what is fast becoming the "dinner time test" again resulted in a trip to the bathroom. Wasn't as painful as yesterday but I'm still not sure I would have lasted the evening out and about... .

Progress. I think... Kind of?

Thanks mostly to some comments I made to him directly and on this thread I have a few questions to answer to Lock when I'm back later this evening. He sent them yesterday (his time) but only got to see them as I was up and getting dressed for work... . I think some of them will take a bit of effort to reply honestly. Not that I'd tried to lie, but that it will take effort to work out the actual reasons. Valid questions though.

Anyhow had better keep an eye on the time. Going out soon...

 

Behold, I have learnt the secret to getting both my testicles into the Spiral. It has to be done in a specific way (and not even the mirror opposite will work) but I have managed now multiple times to put them in. So far I'm stuck with the largest ring whereas the medium one might be better but its clear progress.

There our still problems such as sliding the cage onto the ring, if I'm not careful causes a testicle to pop back out again. Earlier this morning I was able to completely fit and lock the device. Then following Lock's suggestions to make the device more secure and train my testicles I (carefully) added a couple of rubber bands. Later I felt these were still a little too tight and also one of the bands was trying to stray into tehe main cage so I decided to cut them off. Unfortunately in this process it also caused the troublesome testicle to wriggle free, and, the whole set up was a little difficult to repeat.

Being a Saturday, I started the afternoon off in a lazy way with a bit of TV catch up and tried to rethread the device whilst watching. Everything came together and now a little later I am typing this with the device locked, trousers on and tenderness dissipated. I decided not to add rubber bands this time but simply leave the Spiral as it is to see what will happen. As as so far (crossed fingers) its been a lot easier to fit if I fall out I can go again. Although obviously and hopefully that will not happen.

To try and distract myself from being a little tender down there and help convince myself(!) that this time it is going to work I've already set up the safe to house the keys and taken a photo of the lock. I have no idea what is going on in my trousers at the moment, whether I am full in, or, have slipped out - But I do know that at the moment it feels very comfortable.

To think that last night both Lock and I were independently beginning to think that this might not work at all. Could this be a last minute reprieve? At the end of the day if it doesn't work it will be frustrating but nothing really bad has happened. But it would be nice to know that at least it can be done and I think that Lock and I might have just about worked out where we were heading. That's a conversation to have with him though.

 

Why is it so take a picture of a combination lock number and email it to someone else with out being able to glimpse the digits? Just sent Lock four or possibly five emails only for the picture to pop up on the phone before deleting each time (but the last) ...

Not saying we're going to use it. But its there should everything settle nicely.

Even if I give up on the whole chastity thing. I hope that at least once everything can just work out and fit for once.

If nothing else throughout all of this I've discovered that I'm determined... .

 

Up showered and last day of (almost all) alcohol for quite some time. Have tried to fit the device again as it came off one testicle again last night though remained firmly fixed to my penis and the other. (Looks a little odd though.) Lock gave me the combination code back so that I could start again...

At present seem to have two choices with the Spiral. I can get my testicles in most of the time now with the larger ring in place. However, although it sits comfortably for my right testicles my left will eventually pull out. With the medium ring there is the opposite problem: I can get one in. but the other is much more of a struggle - and the two together... .

I think that the larger ring might remain a possibility because of a stretchy cock ring I bought when purchasing the Spiral to try and hold everything in place and/or wear separately to try and help let my testicles settle down. If I opted for the larger ring size and then put on the cock ring which has an additional hole in which to settle your testicles down below and that fitted - it seems as if I could then close down the cage of the Spiral on top of the both the penis and ring. It definitely works when the device is empty it just remains to be seen if it would work in practice, and, how easy it would be to stretch the cock ring over the testicles when they are sitting in the larger Spiral ring. I have been able to lock up the whole device from that position though. So maybe.

At the moment my body seems to be resisting any type of captivity as one of my testicles is trying to hide very deep and far back. So shall probably have to leave it a while before trying again. Even the shower didn't help. Although that might be because I was trying to get the bigger testicle through the smaller (medium) ring.

It's looking like with the Spiral there could/will be a set up that eventually works, however, it is taking so much time. I don't think he's too impressed by it dragging out so long, but is thankfully much happier to ensure safety over bad craftmanship/fitting. Hopefuing to get everything resolved soon. Or give Lock the opportunity to back out again as this isn't really what he signed up for. Neither is it what I want either but for the moment there still seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel for this device finally fitting.

Just have to be careful its not the headlights of the train coming in the other direction.

 

It's been over a month now since I last had any kind of physical release. (Although wearing devices long term has obviously - see above - been a problem.)

I'm not sure why but today seems to be the day my member wants to remind me its there. I've almost felt it's been too happily dormant during it's time of denial but today it seems keen for attention and certainly not in the mood to fit in a small cage.

 

Thank you for the reminder...

Though it's proving nearly impossible whilst fitting cages.

 

Well you can't argue with that.

 

@Jasmic68 - You are probably the world's loudest exponent and advertiser of the Holy Trainer v2 (in a good way ) and today Uberkinky had a bit of a restock of new items including, well, you guessed it. Mine is coming on Wednesday and due to my history with ring sizes ordered a couple spare whilst they were also in stock.

A couple of weeks ago I followed their on site measurements and it said I could just about fit their special pre-order extra small ring size, whereas with other devices I've been switching between the 40" and 45" so I went for all of them whilst in stock. Some of their new stuff has gone out of stock already so I didn't want to be left with the device and the wrong ring size. (It might however mean I have a spare to pass on to someone else at a later date...)

I really wanted to pick up their Guardian anti-pullout too but this is currently still listed as unavailable in the UK. I think I'm going to dislike the fact that you can/have to self-trim as I'm bound to go that little bit too far and render it useless. So might pick up two when I can. I know that they are still available in America and might try and import some but being sensible and at least going to try and fit into the device first or there's no point in getting them at all.

I've heard from many users that it is relatively easy to get your penis in and out of the Holy Trainer if you choose to and its more of a reminder that you shouldn't than a complete deterrent and other devices can offer more security. The comments I've read about the 'Guardian' seem to make it a lot more hard/painful to pull-out and in some cases impossible to get back in. On the flip-side however some people have found the provided set-up too long and had to trim. Which is where we come back to the possibility of mullering it by going to short and rendering the insert useless.

Any way with the Holy Trainer back in stock and having heard soooooo many good comments about it - and not just from Jasmic - it seemed foolish not to give it a try.

In other news today is the first day of giving up alcohol. (Well technically I'm allowed the equivalent of one bottle a week for the next few months - due to a year long gift my friends bought me for my birthday. - Lock isn't without a heart you know. ) It was also my first visit to a gym for sometime having now recovered enough from a medical problem to go. I was never really a gym bunny and only did light exercise the first time and in the introductory session was shown how to use more machines than I ever did the first time I joined.

Life seems to be changing a bit at the moment:

1. Eating calorie controlled meals with the max limit reducing each week
2. Stopping drinking alcohol
3. Joining a gym and getting more exercise in order to hit specific weight loss targets
4. Shaving 'down there' at Lock's request (probably the mentally hardest thing I've done so far)
5. ... and that's all before we even find a device that fits.

So far the Sub/Master relationship has been going very smoothly with give and take on both sides. But then again, so far I've also hit all the targets that have been requested of me.

That's how it should be though, right.