In at the Deep End

Shaving - I think it was chastity making its mark and being something I couldn't hide (well at least until it was allowed to grow back).

I've just been talking with Lock about piercings and PA's - though that's still very definitely past a 'hard limit' at the moment. Will try a fair few alternatives first, before even considering that. I know some people love them though - To each their own.

 

Tis alright - I won't hold it against you. [Cue: Opportunity for a 'Carry On' style joke]

Though I will of course blame you forever - Who knows you might make my keyholder very happy he's been keen to have me properly 'secured' for a while now.

In addition to my previous post - a website in America had earlier today refused to take my money for a couple of Guardian pull outs (which is when I saw sense and decided to try to get it on first) and bought a smartwatch instead which I'd been coveting for many months and now had an exercise based excuse to consider again. Only, checking my email tonight discovered that they have actually taken the money and accepted the order despite what their website said.

In for a penny in for a pound... Though glad its pay day this week!

 

Today gym work started in earnest with a modest 569 calories base level set.

Tomorrow, I get to pick up the Holy Trainer which arrived at the collection point a full 24 hours earlier than expected. Had missed Uberkinky's daily postal deadline when ordering but it seems like they got it out same day anyway. Having used them as a supplier a number of times now I've had not problems with their site, deliveries or customer service. (And no ones paying me to say that.)

A little fed up with the ongoing fitting difficulties although a lot of process has now been made. I think partly in response to my body reshaping itself over time. So some things have been a lot easier now than they were in the past. Still not quite right though. With that in mind Lock reminded me a couple of times recently that I do own a Birdlock Pico and should really give that another go to see if it fits. ... and yes he knows the cage is line with spikes.

I was incredibly disappointed to learn that although its now a lot easier to fit through the entry ring the stretch to get both 'boys' through and out the other side was a little too much. Still you never know, the way things are going maybe one day soon. Eek.

 

Way ahead of you there - Lock has been having me log everything I consume since we started. From Thursday I face another drop of 200 allowable calories per day, which should pretty much wipe out any kind of junk food.

Not even close to a flat stomach yet though.

My friends have been trying to work out what there is left for me to drink in the pub if both alcohol and fizzy drinks are out. Orange juice and soda is the current winner - as they think it's probably healthier than the bottled J20's we have available.

Would opt for orange juice and lemonade out of choice. But I'm not sure Lock would be amenable to that.

 

Today's dinner came in at a whopping 536 calories - including pudding

 

Thanks Lock - May build it in as a reward somewhere if I can make the calories fit.

Would feel a bit bad just drinking water in a pub (if they let me) seeing as they are all struggling hard to stay afloat.

 

You misunderstand me - Many of my friends drink those drinks at the pub. But they serve them so cheaply it can't keep them in business.

Personally it would also feel wrong to turn up to a pub by myself and ask for one glass of tap water...

 

Point made, Lock.

 

It's not fair: All the board members are talking sense to me.

* * *

Yesterday evening I wore a Holy Trainer, actually wore it. It was staying on. Shortly after fitting I had to go out to another lecture where it started to become uncomfortable and I was glad I had brought a key with me to trial. A quick trip to the toilet after about an hour of wear and it was off. However, noticeably when removed both testicles were still behind the ring. I've obviously no idea if they were going to stay that way. But if things settled down and they did...

Will shower this morning before work and see what happens then. It seems the shape and design of the rings are condusive to my body - but we shall have to see - last night when I tried again at least one testicle was refusing to go anywhere near it Being more aggressive in its hiding than ever.

Hoping the pain issue will subside with this device. Although as I have experienced before it might also be connected with the type of underwear I was wearing that day. If it fits today will have to remember to go to work in one of the new pairs that I bought - and will be taking the key with me just in case.

 

Jasmic - I remember you mentioning the incident with your son elsewhere. It did give me slight pause for thought even back then. I spend pretty much all my working day out in the public, and although I have a lot of control over when and where I am, there is often nowhere to hide - not even a public toilet.

Ah well, these are the risks we take I suppose... Who knew, that chastity was a high danger sport?

 

So in further excitinrg testicle news(???) ...

The larger of the three ring sizes (45) went on. Then a testicle came out... Might have been because it is too big, or maybe not close enough to the bone. Decided to keep the Holy Trainer on to get my body used to wearing it and see if it would cling on.

It sort of did and it didn't - finding at the end of the day only held on by my underwear's internal pouch. There felt like there was a very dodgy moment at one point where I could feel things moving and it wasn't that comfortable right in the middle of one of the busiest places in the city... . Fortunately with a bit of fidgeting things subsided.

Anyhow. With all work finally done for the day had better return to my other job of testicle hoopla - the fair ground game that's not fun for all the family.

 

Don't ask my why but:

I will fall out of the Holy Trainer's 45 ring; Not fit in the 40 ring at all, but, stay in the 36 ring.

Yep that's right subject to my body being in a cooperative mood I can fit and stay in the Holy Trainer smallest settings. Smallest ring, smallest size...

The trouble is that I can't stand the pressure it places on my chest. When everything is locked down. Gradually its been less and less but its still there on the fourth (or fifth, or sixth?) try. It's very strange as its not been like that with any other device I've tried -and I've tried Kali's Teeth,plural, and Crown of Thorns. It must be down to the tiny tiny ring size when pushed tight against the cage.

I think that my body is getting used to the set up and learning to adapt, but also I'm getting the hang of how to pull more of my body through the hole so that everything can hang further away from the cage. It feels so close, so, so close and often my member seems to fill the cage much more often by default now than in any previous device. The issue is is that wearing it feels like constantly having your balls squeezed and not a nice tender squeeze but one to remind who's in charge. Unlike a physical mistress however a chastity devices 'arms' don't get tired. It might be alright if I never had to wear clothes again - but as far as I can tell that's not practical. Equally lying down is a lot better than standing or sitting.

We've come so close, and got so far - does it really end here: With a smaller ring size that really fits but makes me want to sing soprano?

 

Update:

So I can get into the 40 ring, but I can't stay in it...

So focus on the 36 ring which I can stay in but makes me feel like I'm going to be ill. At least its not as bad as it was though.

And in photo form... Here is my initial impression of what male chastity might look like:



And here's a picture of what chastity seems to be actually like:

 

Urgh.

Last night spent quite a while alone in a pub with ... C.

What is it about her that makes me incapable of rational thought and decision making.

The one thing the evening made clear was that I am either very bad at reading women one way, or, the other. The subjects of boyfriends and girlfriends was mentioned, as were certain gifts of the past. And just when I thought I had put all this behind me too. Then this morning her FB photo included the ... [I'm sharing too much again!] Anyway, what I took as her trying to say one thing last night, I'm starting to interpret completely the opposite this morning. My life's purpose at the moment seems to be proving the Hugh Grant (Four Weddings - and pretty much any other film he's been in) interpretation of a bumbling Englishman right.

If I swore, I would here.

Need to forget her and move on. 'Cause that's obviously what I want... ... ... [Yep, that just might be 'British' irony too...]

But, anyway why am I boring you with all of this again? Simply because for the first time in ages - possibly since l've been denied, which is now over forty days ago, I've wanted to well 'let go'. Which is ironically at the same time that a device seems to start fitting me better.

I've started to be able to get in to the Holy Trainer must faster now and even worked out the quirks of getting the lock to close. (Pushing down harder and tight on the whole device for the first part, then pressing the left edge and wiggling the key to get it through the smaller second bit.) However, although I've been able to become comfortable with all my other devices at speed wearing the HT for any length of time and particularly trying to sit whilst wearing it gives me stomach cramps. They've now lessoned in severity and I also think I've been able to place my testicles better on subsequent fittings (which helps) but its not something I could yet wear for even a few hours. It seems that although in some ways I've had it bad in the past in terms of device fitting - in this way I have had it easy.

It feels a little like I'm back at square one having to get my body to tolerate the device from very early stages. Whereas previously I would have thought nothing about locking the keys away form a weekend or longer, now I would think twice before even considering an hour let alone a night. Does it really get better than this?

Today though I had a double problem: The two C's do not mix. Chastity is supposed to keep you chaste. Whereas I can only think that I spent the night dreaming of C. Usually on the way back from the pub my head would be a little clouded from the beer, but seeing as Lock has demanded that I give up alcohol maybe my night thoughts were a little more lucid? Trying to fit back into the chastity device this morning was quite a task and I yo-yo'd in and out a few times my member often struggling to reduce. (Even if ironically it might have made the cage fit better.) If only it had been comfortable enough to feel safe locking the keys away ... . I want to keep my commitment to Lock, but I also want her. There might be ways of doing both, (depending on how easily the device can be felt through clothing) but today the too seem to be quite literally/smuttily pulling in polar opposite ways.

Being Feb 29, I'd decided that today was going to be the day that I was going to try locking the device and power through without opening it even if I had to endure some (moderate) discomfort. But what I'm faced with now is my libido awakening from its dormant state and wanting to be sated. There's bits of me - well one bit in particular - that is thinking that I should have bought the larger cage size from Uberkinky. But when I go back online and take a look, yes you've guessed it, its 'Out of Stock'.

Oh the joy of knowing that Lock reads this stuff as part of his log, and feeling compelled to write honest updates both for him an out of clarity. Couldn't I at least learn to hide the truth a little? What's not said and all that? Sadly, though that just isn't me.

For once though my status on here is feeling a little less than 'Angelic', although I will stress that there has been no foul play. So nothing for my keyholder to get upset about. In fact I've still been hitting my targets well... I would however be happy to know where we're going with the end of 'Extended' International Chastity month. It was due to finish tomorrow and I was leaving messages for the second (March) where I had agreed to be asked to be unlocked. Lock however has said I told him the 22nd - though I can only find references to the 2nd due two work commitments. I'm assuming that the 2nd is right though - though there's still been no more mention of it by him. After all even if the date passes I'm still not getting unlocked at least until I have met the weight goal he has set me.

If however you want to comment on the potential release or just follow the thread you can read about the whole International Chastity Month debacle here. Even commen if you want. You've go till the second - or maybe the 22 who know.