I'm ready to quit

It all sounds plausible. I have found it funny during covid because a fever for me is 99, where anyone scanning would think I'm fine. But I am clockwork 97.2-.3. If I register an 98.x I get worried I'm coming down with something.

 

I tried an HT5 with a 55mm ring and both standard and max cage (I also tried the 50mm ring but that lasted 25 seconds). The ring is just too tight. I modified it under boiling water to cut the angle and make it point down less and shape it a bit but at no point is there a gap between ring and cage of more than 3/8-1/2". (and I'm talking side to side gap, there is almost no protrusion gap). I also cut back the base of the shaft to give more space where the boys meet my shaft but it still wasn't right. The max supposedly has a little extra girth but in practice that's not true. I was way too stuffed to the point urination became difficult at times.

 

I think it is an issue for me. I'm high and tight from morning to the evening and only at night do things relax when I'm sitting and relaxing.

 

Progress. Sorry for the long read. After being on the verge of giving up between fitment and my wife not being on board, I decided to order a 2 1/8" ring with the security screw. First off I don't like the screw idea. I could walk into my workshop and take it off in 14 seconds and second there is nothing cool or sexy about pulling out Allen keys when the time is right. But faced with extreme side to side play with a padlock and basering twisting to the side as my underwear tugs on the protruding lock I figured I'd give it a shot. I wore it most of this week without a pop. I still have that daytime, especially when I'm standing, super tight pressure feeling like 2 convicted felons facing a life sentence are testing their new confines to find a weakness. Gosh I wish they would just relax, this would be 1 million times easier. When they are loose I don't even know I'm wearing something. Does it get better? Do you get used to the unified package bonking around sometimes when you walk? Why am I doing this again? lol

On the wife front. I wore the new setup Monday-Thursday and took it off Thursday morning. We have a personal trainer that comes to the house and I'm not ready to wear during that (for comfort/exposing reasons). I didn't put it back on because I said to myself why am I punishing myself? The family and I went upstate to our vaca home for the weekend that afternoon and Friday morning I relished that rock hard morning wood. Temptation was way too great and had a double helping of self gratification.

My wife noticed I was off that day and in the evening asked me if I was really upset with her. I said no, all is fine, I wasn't upset. The evening moved along and I began her nightly foot massage. After some kind back and forth I mentioned that I took it off Thursday and why and about my Friday morning eruptions. We talked some more, I mentioned she avoids looking at my pants/ underwear/ naked and she hasn't even seen it yet. She said she wasn't comfortable with the idea and that this was my thing. In a stroke of possible genius I flipped the idea in a way she could understand.

She has had some serious body image issues over the last few years. We have both put on weight but after our last child she has had major hormone issues that have led to a lot of weight gain. I'm sure that is one of the main reasons our bedroom died. Long story short I said imagine if you told me you really wanted to get nipple rings. You felt they would look great and make you feel better about your body and you heard they improve your sexual energy and desire. It was something you really wanted and that it would in a way help us both. Now imagine after all that research I said I didn't get it and I wasn't on board but go ahead if you want. So you do and it worked- you felt great, your sensation improved and you really wanted to light the bedroom on fire. Now imagine if I refused to look at your chest, I wouldn't talk about it and I acted with a bit of disgust at the notion. How would you feel?

I told her that even if she did something like that I would of course support her even if I didn't get it. Heck I might even learn to like it. She nodded and said I can see your point. One of the other major issues she has is our kids. She's scared of them seeing it. I mentioned it would be that same as if you got rings, you would hide them. Not to mention she never has any idea I'm wearing it. She agreed that she never sees it and she has no idea when I am and am not wearing it.

Finally we spoke of the "key". She mentioned her days are busy with kids and other things and doesn't have time to think of putting a key away and remembering where it is etc. I said if we bought a new safe would you say you can't deal with it, you couldn't handle being responsible for a key to it? She again said I see your point. We spoke about a lot more and eventually I stopped massaging her feet and after washing them we sat next to each other and put on a show we are binge watching.

When the last show of the night ended she got up and went in the shower, and I know what that means. WOOHOO. I asked if she wanted me to take it off. She said no, leave it on for now. When she came into the bedroom I was just wearing underwear over it. She said take them off and did give off a little shocked "wow". It wasn't exactly a good, that's hot wow, but she saw it. After an hour of oral for her she wanted me so she unlocked it and the rest of the night is history. After I asked if I should lock back up and she said yes. I'm sure she said it because she knows that's what I wanted to hear but I'll take it...

 

We shall see how much is accepted vs tolerated over the next few weeks. If she had a friend who was into this it would be infinitely easier, and more fun for that matter lol. Last night I asked if she needed a day off knowing the previous was “spirited” and she said yes followed by “I can’t go at it every night”. I simply said neither can I without your permission and she said “that’s true!”. So the rain has stopped and the clouds may be clearing- and I’m at work with no idea where the “key” is.

 

I already am. I have not written a detailed ‘minutes’ of every aspect of our life but more of a few of the relevant individual events. My wife asked me to do a little less around the house because it was making her feel bad. Baby steps.

 

No worries, I had posted a lot so I had to summarize quite a bit.

I’m honestly craving that, as masochistic as it sounds.