How to stop masturbation w/o chastity

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mr_s, Jan 1, 2021.

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  1. Mr_s
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    Mr_s New member

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    Me and wife had played with chastity over the years but have run into health issues at times.
    Our marriage is 1000% better when im denied and more towards a full FLR.
    And we both believe its making us stronger as a couple.

    Trouble is i struggle to kick a masturbation habit when she isnt supervising me.
    I sit beside her in the evenings, i shower under supervision, we leave for our jobs at the same time.
    The only time we cannot think to remove temptation is when i arrive home before her (prob an hour or so earlier in general)

    Anyone have any ideas? Thinking self restraints untill she arrives home? I also cook all our meals so will need some sort of movement while she isnt supervising me.

    Not looking for people saying ‘self controll if you want a FLR’ etc
    The dynamic we have makes it all the more better if i know i cannot do it. And im sure with time i will come to realisation that i cannot masturbate. But until then.... any kinky ideas? Or personal experiences?


    S
     
  2. Ron33
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    Ron33 Active member

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    It is difficult. Most males grow up masturbating a lot, they start early and want to continue after marriage or expect their new wife to provide them sex on a frequency that was the same as their masturbation habit. That rarely happens.

    Most wives want sex too, but at a lower frequency than their husband. What I learned is, males masturbate for two reasons, they are truly horny and the second is out of habit. It feels good, orgasms feel good. But most of the time it is habit to get that dopamine rush.

    What i learned is to have sex or masturbate when truly horny and skip the habit ones. Masturbation is a habit and it is not easy to break. I think that is why male chastity works, if you are locked, it breaks that habit cycle. It doesn't take a lot, but we need a boost or encouragement from our spouse to stop our habit.

    When I first decided to break the habit cycle, I went 1 full month with no sex and no masturbating. My wife helped me, but I wasn't locked. After the first 3 or 4 days, it got easier until about week 4. Some reason around week 4 I was wanting it bad.

    I have also done a month locked. I am now locked for about 10 days a month and on the honor system the rest of the month. Make a commitment to go a month without sex or masturbation. You will feel great.
     
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  3. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Get a PA and stay locked... block porn websites with a password only your wife knows... Or you could just stop touching yourself.

    Something that might work for you is having your wife allowing you to masturbate in front of her while she makes it a little awkward.

    At this point I don't want to masturbate because it is so lame compared to the physical contact from my wife.
     
  4. Lpk77
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    Lpk77 Member

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    I simply can’t do it! I must do it at least 3 times a day! All I think about when I do is dreaming about being locked and not being able to do it!!
    I haven’t been locked for 2 months now as we both got ill at being of November and after a shower I didn’t put it back on, she never mentioned it so it was left.

    I keep hoping and praying that she will bring it up!
    When I was locked I felt at peace.
     
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  5. lovetohearno
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    lovetohearno Member

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    We use the honor system also. To reduce my temptation to masturbate I no longer think of me owning my cock and balls, they belong to my wife now. Just like I wouldn’t touch her privates without her consent I don’t touch her cock without her consent. Exception for personal hygiene, of course.
     
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  6. maid julie
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    maid julie Active member

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    Put a body suit on when you get home and then lock a belt around your waist to keep from taking it off. Your wife can hold onto the key
     
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  7. Mr_s
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    Mr_s New member

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    Thats quite a good idea. A tight fitting body suit and locking belt. Remove access to my penis.
     
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  8. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    @Mr_s please if it only cos you get home for a hour before your Mistress i think that if you cud stop out and not go home for a hour and then your Mistress be back home before you come home then it will be ok.
     
  9. Mr_s
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    Mr_s New member

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    I understand that, but id rather be home cooking for her return. Puts me in her good books
     
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  10. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    yes but Ladies find out when you play and make a mess and if She does find out even if you have make a nice meal She will be angry cos of you doing it.
     
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  11. sadiedog01
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    sadiedog01 Active member

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    A Kalis teeth bracelet will break you of this bad habit. I have this one from Hot steel toys. After being chastised for months I was able to relieve myself even with my Evotion Bijou installed. Simply give the keys to your partner and lock it on in the morning (or before your time of temptation) and have her unlock it before bedtime. It affects how you think about getting anywhere near to arousal at a deep rooted psychological level.
    I am still required to don this occasionally to re-enforce proper behavior.

    upload_2021-1-1_10-17-42.png
     

    Attached Files:

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  12. Feathers.Sub
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    Feathers.Sub Member

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    Sadiedog01,

    This device looks like an Iron Maiden :eek:
    Not sure if it will work (without any injuries) if you're a "grower".
    I think that getting arroused is a great thing, putting hands on myself isn't and is also against our agreement.
    What happens if you get arroused and wear this teeth bracelet? I like the simplicity how it looks like, but it looks like it will cause major pain.
    Will it train you not getting arroused anymore (which would reduce the fun a lot during T&D)?

    Feathers.sub
     
  13. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    Stop off at the gym for the hour
     
  14. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica 24/7365 chastized sissy in an FLR.

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    No offense implied, more good humour, but it occurs to me that asking a bunch of submissive dudes in chastity how to manage it without using chastity is a bit silly. #justsayin :p

    On to the question, I am not really sure. My KH/Goddess can't stand me taking care of these needs minus her, and to pornography, and so we decided on chastity to curb it. I think the biggest thing I am seeing in your comments are that you aren't being honest with her about it, and in a "healthy" FLR, that just doesn't fly . Have you considered informing her that you are guilty of this, and seeing what her input is?
     
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  15. sadiedog01
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    sadiedog01 Active member

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    Feathers. sub,

    What happens if you get aroused and wear this teeth bracelet?

    You quickly learn to curtail the situation by thinking about anything besides sex.
    For example, when wearing the KTB device I do not read or watch any kind of porn, not even lingerie ads!
    It modifies your behavior so that you will not dare think about sex / masturbation.
    Like having a chastity device in your mind.

    Will it train you not getting aroused anymore (which would reduce the fun a lot during T&D)?

    Any Teasing & Denial is done without the KTB installed. My wife/ Mistress is not that cruel.
    The Bijou is worn 24/7 , thus any T&D is always done with this on by default.
    I have noticed that over the years it takes more effort to become aroused but I believe this is due to my age, my blood pressure medicine and the fact that I've been wearing some kind of chastity device for the past 20 years.
     
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  16. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    It is a one step at a time scenario.

    The first is the complete stop to consuming pornography / erotica. It is literally poison to your FLR (read anything by actual Dominant Women. This is a piece of common knowledge).

    The second is to figure out if you are actually looking for the enforcement of chastity. As in, you want your Mistress to enforce you not orgasming. The question is, are Y/you a stick or a carrot type of Mistress/submissive? For me, I love knowing that my chastity deeply pleases my Governess and that She enjoys sexuality much more with me not orgasming (carrot). The stick scenario would be vastly different and takes a distinct personality to be in that perpetual enforcement role.
     
  17. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Member

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    I have no doubt @sadiedog01's solution works, but I wouldn't want to go to work like that. If you struggle that much trying to stay chaste, why don't you bite the bullet and try wearing a cage like one of those, cheap, confortable and wearable 24/7. No better device to make you realize you can't play with yourself. Personal experience. That and another trick that I'd only share with your wife…
     
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