Has anybody else felt a closer bond with there wife after starting chastity? Has it changed you to be more attentive to her needs, such as remembering to do chores, call her back, go over and above on things just for her..
We couldn't find a dynamic that worked for us so I was the complete opposite. Mean, nasty, reluctant to do anything for her and If I had to it was service with a frown. That seems to be a rariety here. Just my experience.
I'm closer to my GF in ways I never thought possible before. It's why I took the name Headtrip, and I still can't wrap my head around it. And it just keeps building for us. It is heaven when she lets me service her sexually, but we are both too busy so I can"t say I'm a service sumissive - yet (she has plans).
Oh yes, very much so. i love how chastity amplifies the low-level submissive feelings i always have for Women. IMO, service to Her is independent of whether i'm in chastity or not - She deserves my very best regardless. However, i find it adds depth to that service. Focuses it and helps eliminate distractions from my life that would take me away from Her. One example of this is computer gaming. A week after i'm locked up, i lose all interest in that - too busy serving Her as best i can.
Not totally changed yet, but chastity is shaping me. Having someone to direct me and control any release has freed me to be fully submissive.
It has made me a better person toward my Wife(KH). A lot has changed with me since my Wife first locked my cage. Not that they didn't before, but her needs come before mind. I can't say I love her more than before but, I make sure she gets everything she wants. More attention to everyday things. And not just sexual things. Little rubs and touches. I know it sound bad, but we had fallen into a very boring life. Just kind of forgot what it was to be excited about every day stuff. After the first month of MC, my Wife told me she really like having control of me, by taking over my penis and when I get to have a orgasm, and that this is how it is going to be for here on in. Which it has been. I know MC isn't for every male, and some might say it's weird to have to wear a cage, but I wouldn't change it for anything...I only wish we would have started it sooner in our relationship, so does my Wife.
Our story is much like yours I cant say I love my wife anymore. But now with MC we are acting like we first met. I totaly love the connections that we have. I'm still in my own head thinking its weird wearing a cage! Dont get me wrong I love submitting, but it still feels weird. By talking to people on here I realize its not just me
Yess!!!! Its a head trip for sure. We have only been playing with MC for a month, but it blows my mind how its changed me. The sex we are having because of it is just amazing!
I'll take a different approach and say that things have not changed much between my wife and me. Chastity for us is not meant to reinforce my submissive nature or put her on a pedestal despite sharing such fantasies in the past. The reality is that it doesn't compartmentalize the stresses of work & adulthood for either of us, nor does it make daily chores any more enjoyable for me. I'm stoked for those who are able to enjoy that lifestyle, but we would admittedly burn out (or became resentful) pretty quick if we tried to force it. Instead, chastity is a tool to give her control of my orgasms and exclusive access to my cock. She gets enjoyment knowing that I can only get hard or cum when she allows it. The longer we go, the more enthusiastic she becomes in the end when we finally find some time to play with each other. As for me, chastity is something that just feels right. I love having it be something unremarkable and normalized day to day, and if anything, I actually feel more confident in myself when locked.
Well said!!! Thank you for your response. I feel the same way. For me, posting on here makes me realize that I am not the only one that feels this way!!! I am starting to feel somewhat normal in a kinky way.
Oh my! Yes things have changed. Before undertaking chastity, I missed a lot of her cues. Our communication has greatly improved. I appreciate many more little things like the way she smiles, touches, and snuggles. I realize that habits of hrs that used to bother me are merely opportunities for me to make things easier for her. I genuinely listen better. My biggest realization was that while I’m looking out for her, she has always been looking out for us.
For me chastity pushed my submissiveness to levels I nether thought possible, I have always been submissive, but being in chastity broke down the last bits of my male ego, and made me submit compleatly to my madam. Before chastity I would have never thought for a second I could become a cuckold. But here we are now. And we have never been better.
It has resparked the lust in our relationship. I crave her constantly, and as a result we have more sex and she has more frequent and intense orgasms. It’s also helped her understand the way my (and most men’s) desire functions, and that my post-orgasm disinterest has nothing to do with how I feel about her, but how my libido works. Everything has improved since we took control of the want - climax - wane cycle of my libido and have kept me at the “want” phase. I no longer masturbate or receive any penile stimulation of any sort, and when we first started discovering chastity and denial, we were both uncertain. I was worried she was simply doing it for my benefit (which she was at first) and she was worried she was hurting me by denying me. But we stuck with it and now we can’t imagine going back because the benefits of this new dynamic are too great. Anything else would now be abnormal for us. It hasn’t made me more likely to do housework, change the way I dress, or anything like that. I can’t even say it has improved our communication because that has always been essential to us.
Chastity has changed for us over the years. 20 years ago, it was to make sex hotter when I unlocked, which it did, but mostly it made me pester her more for sex. Now, it's kind of different as I have a keyholder/kink partner, and my wife, and the purpose of it is different. My keyholder is in charge of the chastity/denial, and the purpose is to push me to being more submissive/service oriented, and break my desire for genital pleasure. Both my wife and my keyholder want me locked and chaste. With that in mind, I'm more bottomy (which is different from submissive, which I've become, sexually, but not in a larger sense.) and more service oriented. I'm less horny, and can't get as aroused. I've lost my cravings for using my dick for pleasure, although I do have a degree of sexual frustration, if that makes sense.....It's all new to me/us, so we just go with it. The sexual pleasures I've generally replaced with giving massages and footrubs, and general sensual things. Kissing can get me drippy now. I like doing stuff for my wife and my keyholder. My keyholder has been involved in bdsm (like me) for 30 years or so, and I'm her kink partner, so I'm on the receiving end of her sadism, and that has become sexual for me now, quite often. I think I'm more calm, and don't think with my dick now, other than being super aware that I'm locked, and can't use my bits beyond peeing.
Well said. As a keyholder, I agree these are very worthwhile objectives, and have been goals to achieve for my home pet as well. But it's primarily been his obedience and submission to me, coupled with his total commitment to chastity, what has allowed him to make great progress regarding his improved service attitude--certainly the sexual kind, but also attentive non-sexual service--, his calmer demeanor and his own stated feelings of happiness. I can't say--like you do--that he's 'less horny, and can't get as aroused' as a result of his progress. It's been just the opposite for my pet. And while I use that for my benefit, sometimes that does require me to calm him down a bit with some sub-inducing actions or activities, including pegging, corner time out kneeling naked and plugged, and/or house-cleaning, among others. Feel free to share more of how you KH handles you for further ideas. Stay well!
We are a bit different than most in a few ways. My keyholder is a friend of my wife and I, and has been for over a decade. She's a Queer Domme, and is also largely asexual. She has always struggled to find a partner who would want to serve, or be on the receiving end of pain, without requiring sex as part of the dynamic. My wife has a lower sex drive, but does like sex, however, she really prefers toys, such as the strap-on, to actual genitals. I started slowly learning to serve my keyholder a few years back, largely as friends, but eventually I realized a desire to serve in a more formal kink way, and we began chastity play, as she didn't like how much I masturbated. My wife liked this, and was good with me exploring with her. Fast forward to now, and I'm in permanent chastity, no genital use. At the start, chastity did make me more horny, which is partly why we pursued a more strict no sex, no relief policy. My wife and I had been doing Tantric based stuff for 20 years, and I've come to prefer giving pleasure, over having or getting, and take more pleasure in her orgasm than mine. The chastity really pushed me to commit to fully getting my pleasure from giving, and reject wanting or having. The other thing is simply that I can't get as worked up if I can't stimulate myself. Peak horny is being near an orgasm for me, and in chastity, there's no stimulation. We also have me in a micro cage, which pushes the penis into the pubic mound, and hides it from view, which creates an out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. Now I'm content serving my keyholder, and just being allowed to touch or massage her, or submit to caning or flogging etc.....well, before the isolation things, as she lives in the next town South of us.
YES!!! the relationship totally change. Now the bond in much more deeply and solid, chastity change in better the life!! i wrote a post on benefit of chastity (at least from our experience): https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...long-term-chastity-benefit.36102/#post-375784
I am very lazy, but now I do most of the chores around the house. My wife thinks we should have started this many years ago.