I haven't had an orgasm outside my wife's presence for 1.5 years now, since late February '18. All hand jobs have been ruined for over a year (sometimes I still hope she will pity me, a little). So, the only orgasms I am allowed is when she is in the mood for intercourse, which is sometimes a few times a month, and sometimes not at all. I asked her if I could wank. Not sure what I was hoping for her to say. The responses included: "Why?" "Only if I am there" "Maybe you can MB and I'll still ruin it" -and- "I'm still coming to terms with my desire to control you" I didn't end up wanking...she ruined it a few days later. She been pretty accommodating over the last 20+ years, but her answers seemed sincere, more than just a mind f-ck. I feel like I really would let her down if I wanked alone.
And you would let her down. Just do all your wife asks of you and don’t question her reasons, they know best.
I honestly believe that there are some women who once they get a taste of having control will find ways to exercise increasingly more. Luckily I found one.
I can second that. Miss A thrives on control, and is still evolving as she learns new ways to exercise it.
I haven’t been asking “why “ too much. It catches me a little by surprise that this is something she is thinking about other than humoring my tastes for BDSM, which years ago was “not her thing” but has grown on her. She’s reconsidered that she’s always had some desire for control, but hasn’t acted on it. Or maybe when I was younger, I was less willing to really give it up. How can I cultivate/support this without being pushy or impatient? It’s been 20+ years in the making.
I’m not sure what it is, bdsm, control, or just plain old jealousy, but ever since we started over three years ago she hasn’t felt the desire to let me pleasure myself. Although it wasn’t formally discussed, she’s never let me out for extended periods where I was allowed to touch it. We do have an understanding of no unauthorized touching, but in over thee years she’s never said “go ahead it’s all yours for awhile” or “while the cage is off the rules are gone”. She genuinely doesn’t want me touching it without her.
It sounds like she is trying to figure out what is really appropriate for her and her cock. She seems to be seeing it more as hers and less as yours. If that suits you,, I;d let her lead and you follow.
M'Lady certainly has taken control over the past year. She will figure out what she wants and does or doesn't like in her own good time. Let her take the reins and enjoy the ride!
We've been exploring kink literally half our lives (hard to believe) and the figuring it out never exactly ends, more evolves. Big picture, she knows what she likes. The emotional dynamic never quite stops evolving. She doesn't view herself as "controlling" but is finding out maybe she likes that. It's not just sexual.
My wife has always been controlling in general. We have been doing chastity now fairly regularly for 2 years. I have seen that level of control grow significantly since we started. I had a fit issue, and have new device on order. She is genuinely pissed device not on. QUOTE="filltee, post: 345199, member: 21313"]I honestly believe that there are some women who once they get a taste of having control will find ways to exercise increasingly more. Luckily I found one.[/QUOTE]