Have you changed?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Nicoftime, Sep 16, 2021.

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  1. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I’m starting this thread because another one made me think of how I have changed mentally in the 5plus years I have been in chastity.

    I’m still the same person, and I don’t think I’ve changed morally or anything, but I am not as confrontational as i once was. I had a pretty good idea of what I thought this was all about, what was acceptable, what people should get out of this, and what couples especially should give and expect from each other.

    So now I feel like I’m a bit more laid back, I’ve noticed it looking back at my time and interactions here. I am aware I am no angel, for those looking to search for snide comments I have made lol.

    My question is have any of you that have been in chastity for awhile or member here, have you noticed your general demeanor changing? I am not sure if mine is more learning acceptance, lack of masculinity both physically and mentally, or heck maybe im just getting older.
     
  2. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    #2 Guest 8927, Sep 16, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2021
    Alright, not to engage you too much, but wow.

    I watch tons of pro wrestling, and the best is when the masks are dropped and the viewer gets to see them as people.

    Fallible. Flawed.

    Thank you for posting such a brave statement.

    I dunno. I am a HVAC Mechanic and crew chief in my real life, and yes, absolutley, act completely fucking self destructive in that side of my life. I have either betrayed or been burned by everyone I've ever loved, and in each case, was told my personality was the reason. (Minus a recently deceased dog, a hyper masc Newfie best friend, my 10 year old son from a previous marriage, and My Goddess, who could tell crazy stories of trying to manage that part of me)

    That is the size of my circle. I'm an introvert and childhood sexual abuse survivor. I absolutely spend most of my time avoiding people so as to not have to get to know them.

    I have to live it in the background, but yes, its absolutely changed me. I'm just a more well adjusted, kinder, happier, more optimistic individual as my trans self. Ive only realized, and started this journey in the last ten years. I am a retired professional bull rider and amatuer boxer.

    Yes, being Monnica has changed me. Yes, I have hundreds of people who would reject me for it. (I'm not out to everyone) I spent a time in my life so desperate that I was using the food bank and trying to make money as a sex worker (escort, webcam, phone fantasies) it wasnt a high point but a discovery. I just wanted to be loved as I was, but as my female self, a caring, loving, benevolent little person.

    Yes, absolutely, my wonderful partner, much like yours, helps keep this version around more, because in it, we are just better people. I say that because I know you and I arent the same thing. I'm trans. I own that, as much as you do yours.

    But the journey is the same.

    Keep your past self where you can. Try to keep him where he would rather be. Be content in that. You are doing well in even recognizing it.

    As will I. The most interesting stories are always the real ones. Take care.

    M.
     
  3. Elfman
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    Elfman Member

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    I've just run out of fucks but that might be a symptom of getting older.
     
  4. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Lol, yeah that is definitely a possibility!
     
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  5. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    I have changed, but chalk it up to being older and wiser. Pre-retirement, I was the typical type A personality and bled into all phases of my life. Now being retired, I am more laid back and little bothers me anymore. While the wife still works and I do help from time to time, I can take care of those things put off for years. The home front is also very calm and while we started chastity to augment our sex life, it has turned into more.
    As a supplement from our bdsm lifestyle, it was a way to heighten my sex drive and play into her controlling my cock. However, as age and blood pressure med have made their impact, my hammer is more like a wet straw. So being locked up is not too stressful, kind of go with the flow as long as the wife give me a reward.
     
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  6. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Active member

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    I too was a typical type A personality and have definitely mellowed. I attribute the shift to age and chastity. I sincerely wish I had known then what I know now.
     
  7. Cowboob
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    Cowboob Dumb ol' cow

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    Chastity definitely changed me. Even when my relationship ended and I simply continued it on my own it's pretty clear. It helped me be more positive, have more motivation. I finally had the confidence and willpower to seek out transitioning. It didn't change the very roots of me, but it helped bring parts of me out that were suppressed, and it helped me deal with what i can only assume now was a very long lasting depression.
     
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  8. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Active member

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    Only thing that’s really changed for me is that using the cage has helped me to realize I’ll be ok not getting to have an orgasm or two every day. If my Wife wasn’t into sex for whatever reason, she would still give in and allow me to cum. The funny thing is, even though that was a rare day that she didn’t want sex, now that I’m locked more, her horniness level has gone up even more! I guess my submission to her, gets her excited more. So win win :)

    Other than that, I’m the same person I always was, just trying to be a good husband & father and a decent person to others
     
  9. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I'm still a type A personality. Just not to my wife. (Or maybe: When I am that way to my wife, she now makes me regret it quickly.)

    So yes, I have definitely changed. It's mostly how I treat my wife, and how I respond to her.

    But I do think it's bled over into other areas as well, a little.
     
  10. Peaches
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    Peaches "kinky guy"

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    I have changed. Has chastity changed me? I think it played a small role.

    I'm a sexual person. My wife is not. Practicing chastity has helped us connect in other ways. Our marriage is definitely stronger more now than ever.
     
  11. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Did you also watch Rey Mysterio's run in WCW late 1999-2001? It took him from being a super hero to a bland small guy in overalls. Whereas La Parka? Still rocking that outfit and being awesome. I was at an MLW card, and the bathrooms were shared with talent and he used the bathroom (I knew his eyes from times he had gotten color in various places). Still covered his face. He was the mask and the mask was him. It clearly gave him strength. For whatever it's worth, I feel the same way about eye makeup. I spend the 15 minutes every day to do it right regardless of where I'm going or what I'm doing. It's not a mask, it's gorgeous war paint that elevates me :)
     
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  12. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    Yes. Not to get too off topic, but my grand dad was a heel/jobber on the Old Stampede Wrestling in Calgary in the early 70s. I've watched ever since I can remember.

    That's funny though, I love Luchadores the most too. Must be a sissy tip off. :p
     
  13. Shepherdsflock
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    Chastity helped a little, but really most of changes in me came from transitioning.
     
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  14. Turma
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    Turma Member

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    Not one jot!
    My loose mouth still gets me into trouble, my brash nature often gets me punished and I just can't stop pestering and annoying my wife.
    The only thing that has changed is that she is more assertive :)
     
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  15. Anthony lee
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    Anthony lee New member

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    That appears to be my situation. Six years now. Just older than you.
     
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  16. madams-sissysub
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    I totally agree with you, and I have changed just as you described.
     
  17. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    I feel like the process of coming out to my Wife about my submissive tendencies, and having spent the last few years in nearly full time chastity, has - slowly and (relatively) gently - helped me begin to figure out some things about my gender identity.

    I’m pretty sure I’m not trans - for the most part I’m happy being a man. But I definitely am far from being a typical straight cis male. Probably most men are, but society pushes those roles on us by means both subtle and violent, and I’ve always been acutely aware that things that were supposed to interest or excite me didn’t, and many things that were forbidden or shameful did. I’m sure many us here have felt the same way.

    Now, later in life and with society becoming marginally more tolerant of expressing gradients in gender, I am moving towards expressing more femininity in my outward appearance.

    I don’t know exactly where that journey will take me, or what parts of it will show outwardly, but I do know I’ll have the support of my Wife whatever happens. That’s a big part of what chastity has done in our marriage, opening up that space for communication.

    I have the luxury, though, of being relatively well off and having a supportive Wife and circle of friends. It pains me to read stories like yours, @Pretty Monnica, of having to put yourself in physical and psychic danger to express who you are. I’m happy that you’re happier now, and that we’ve found our way to this community.
     
  18. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    Thank you so much. Enjoy and embrace the journey.

    It's been a struggle, and can still be at times, but it is winding up in such a way with my Goddess that the journey thus far for me seems a very distant memory.
     
  19. Bobbie Michelle
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    I've definitely changed as I've gotten older and chastity is a large part of that. I'm retired now, a 75 year old widower and for the majority of my life a product of my upbringing and society's rules. A lifetime closet crossdresser who went through more "buy and then purge" cycles than I care to admit and although I still miss my wife terribly, I'm now free to be who I've always been underneath. A Submissive, gender neutral, bi curious, chastised crossdresser. Although for family reasons I dress in Male mode when out I stay the locked, submissive gurl at home 24/7 and the chastity cage is the prime symbol of that person I've become.
     
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  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Maybe it isn’t so much me being more mellow, it might just be me being happy.

    Living in an enforced state of chastity has forced me to express myself openly, and her acceptance has been a godsend.

    As far as gender expression, inside I have always been fluid, but had never expressed it to anyone else. In fact quite the opposite, to everyone else that knows me I’m the sarcastic funny asshole, beer swilling, blue collar, bar fighting, guy’s guy. To be able to wear comfy clothes (usually leggings and a top) and curl up with my head on my wife’s lap, to express myself and be able to be that vulnerable without being hurt is an amazing feeling that I just can’t rightly put into words. Being able to drop the veil, and have someone see the real you and not pull back does wonders for your well being.
     
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  21. Locked In LoneStar
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    Living in chastity and being feminized has made me realize finally what I am.

    I'm a sissy; not in the perjorative emasculated man fetish sort of way (but yes, very much that too), but as a gender.

    I'm not a man, I don't want to be one. I'll wear the costume in public, but it's not who I am, and I get that now. I want to be a wife, I want to be subservient, and I want to be sexually denied so my focus is always on being the best wife I can be.

    I'm still not sure when to come out to my wife about this revelation, but the fact is that I think I make a far, far better wife than I ever did as a husband.

    I tried to take care of her and spoil her as a man who was treated like a sissy, but I'd always slack off or cut corners or argue or backtalk.

    As a sissy who has embraced what she is, I'm much better behaved and much more motivated. Time will tell if this is another phase, but I feel like I finally know who and what I am.
     
  22. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Okay, that's super fun. That means you're one degree removed from being stretched by Stu Hart. I always liked Stampede, even the Bruce Hart reboot.
     
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  23. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    Yeah, we used to go to Stus place quite often to pick up his checks and see the pet bear they had. :p

    Not quite my idea of a dungeon, however. Lol!
     
  24. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    Once again way cool! I've read about the bear in a few biographies.

    Note: This is a thread @notbeinfringed85 needs to be a part of as we are likely the only two people still talking about Smoky Mountain Wrestling :)
     
  25. notbeinfringed85
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    Omg…stampede was awesome. And as a bonded member of the Cult of Cornette, I will gladly talk the territories with anyone who will listen.
     
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