Hello, Introductions are always difficult, let me say how I got into chastity. I am quite infatuated by BDSM and female chastity and always wanted to put my partner in a chastity belt and all the sexy things will happen after that, yes immature and true. Putting a partner in chastity never happened, though it still may in the future. My story: I was getting ready to go to a conference over the weekend and my spouse was feeling insecure about me leaving; she has had a history of cheating partners. I decided, after some long thinking, to buy a chastity device to give her some piece of mind and to bring BDSM into our everyday life. I researched male chastity, finding several blogs and this site as well, and decided to buy a Holy Trainer version 2 and fell in love with wearing it the moment I tried it on. However, I never did tell my spouse about the device, felling ashamed. Now that almost two years have gone by with me wearing it covertly I am trying to work up the nerve to reveal my desire to be locked up and have my key held by my submissive spouse. My purpose in joining the mansion is to start owning my feelings, be part of a community and lose my feelings of shame and make chastity part of my relationship.
Welcome to the Mansion! I, like many men here, started out by hiding my chastity (as well as most of my other kinks) from my Wife. It took time and it wasn’t always easy, but being open and honest with her has taken our relationship to places neither of us thought it could go. I hope you’ll be able to do the same, and I know you’ll find lots of support and advice here.
Welcome -- no need for "feelings of shame." Many of us are proud of our chastity and how we are trying to become better husbands, put aside our masturbation habits, and serve our wives. It's time for you to man up with your wife.
Welcome . Well said @Rectrix. If she has had cheating partners in the past, you might tell her you want to give Her piece of mind. You know her, we don't. I started as just trying to show Her he would always be the only one. It was Her birthday and I gave Her the key in a card. We had fun with for a while and then we found the other side. Not what I expected, but not a bad thing at all. Be lighthearted about it and honest. If you think it would give her piece of mind bring it up with no pressure. You really don't know until you try. Hope it works out for you two.
Let her know you want to do this for her, that you want her confidence to soar, that she's the only one for you. And apologize for your deceit and shame. Hopefully she'll be touched.
I second that motion, you have the reason and the means to show her that you are all her's to do as she pleases. Be honest and let her know how you really feel, either way you told the truth and that is where relationships really start.
Thank you very much for the advice, I think that I may give her a card with the key in it for her to open. She has my heart and she has my body both metaphorically and now literally. I think it will be fun, cathartic, and help bring us closer. I will let everyone know how it goes.
Silly question, would you present the key and be locked or unlocked? Which would be less threatening?
Locked. Show her, not tell her, that you want her to be confident in your loyalty, that you will not even masturbate without her knowledge, and that you will remain only hers to use when she choose.
@Rectrix, I did it. I gave my sweetheart a card with the key to my cage in the envelope. She loved the card, which simply said that I love her deeply and that she has me mind, soul and body. However she was curious about what the key meant. I dropped my shorts and showed her the key went to my cage, which made her ask if it was comfortable and safe, of course it is safe and occasionally uncomfortable. I told her about when I got it and why and I would be very happy to have her be my keyholder and she seemed genuinely happy and intrigued. She did want to know how long I had been wearing it, a day at this point and that i was caged last night when I orally gratified her (which was awesome for me, better being caged). I am so happy that I did it, thank you all who encouraged me to come out to my fiancee and share my myself more fully.
What a wonderful development!!! We're all so happy for you. Just remember: you're doing this for her. Go slow, let her lead, show her how this benefits her. She wants this to be about intimacy and emotional availability not your (our) kink. When she "gets it" your kink will be more than satisfied.
Definitely. When I told her she was accepting and I immediately wanted to be very selfish about this amazing happening. I need to be patient and I want this to be about us, not just me.