Hi How is your everyday life in chastity with your vanilla wife. Does she take initiative to play? How often do you play? Is it just a “normal” sex life where she just takes the initiative to PIV sex? Can she see what is in it for her?
I'd love to hear what people do - it's been an interesting endeavour trying to find a good way to do this.
My wife will play with me a few times a week. We usually spend time in the mornings on the weekend for sure. She will also play with me at least one time during the week. No PIV, no O just her touching me or talking to me while I rub on her leg or she holds a Fleshlight. I do get an O about once every two weeks, I’m very lucky!
For years before chastity I would usually be the intiator due to our wildly different libidos. Since we are new to this and she is still in the habit of waiting for me to initiate sex so we work around this. I do try to make sure she is getting what she needs by offering to go upstairs and cuddle or give her a massage. After being married to this woman for years I can usually tell with the aid of some probing kisses if she is in the mood for something more and this becomes a pretext to giving her an O but more often than not its just a nice romantic thing to do. While we do have a little bit of what i would call banter on a daily basis at my expense. She seems to enjoy bring up sex, giving me a little nipple tweek, etc then telling me no. She ends up giving me a more thorough teasing once or twice a week. Since the opportunity doesn't always arise or she tends to forget to intitate it, she allows me remind her once if it gets to a whole week and she hasn't done any teasing. However she deffinitley feels no obligation to act on this reminder, she sometimes just replies with "I know" and carries on what she is doing. I don't know how normal this is as i do feel like maybe half of the time I am still the intiator but that is alot less than it was historically. However thats just the person she is and it seems to work for us at the moment. I'm trying to nuture her sense of being in charge by I make sure I don't pester her everyday and accept her intial refusal without question or reaction despite my own horniness.
Hey there! When I professed my love of chastity my partner embraced it. We practise orgasm control. It's not about behaviour modification in any way. I have ceded all control of my orgasms to her... And she has accepted. There is no contract or the like. I accept that I cum when she wants. That's it for us! If she chooses three times a day or once a year... So be it!!! I abide by her choices because that is what I have asked for AND that is what she agrees on and likes!!! I don't want her to miss out 9n what she wants. This is how it work for us.... Kindest regards J.
My KH nearly never initiate an intercourse but regret not to, she still too shy to ask even when I am caged and obedient. She is still fighting her patriarchal education. So she have order me to tease her a little a asks if she wants during the day, I have just to follow her request whatever it is. Now she know how to say a simple "no" I don't insist in any way even if I feel my blue balls urging for. She now happy that I am caged, she feel more confident and rules my release.
My wife is fairly vanilla as I've described elsewhere. She at least doesn't admit to any other kinks and we fell into chastity originally because she was willing to indulge my suggesting it ... ... then grew to like it to much to stop. We are basically in a 33/66 situation. About 1/3 of the time my wife will be horny and initiate something. This is usually on a weekend morning. 100% of the time she gets what she wants Usually these are the times she's craving intercourse and while I'll need to make her cum several times with my tongue or fingers or toys first, it usually ends with her unlocking me and getting my penis inside her. Occasionally, she might not unlock me and instead want the strap-on or I end up wearing her out with my mouth/fingers/toys and we'll end with me still locked and dripping. More often - 2/3 of the time - I'm the one who initiates playtime. I can do this by offering to take her upstairs to the bedroom on a Saturday morning, or as we're getting ready for bedtime, maybe just starting making out with her. Around a third or half the time I start something she'll acquiesce and we'll play. What we do during these times changes, it depends on what she's feeling like. Strap-on play (me wearing the strap-on) is becoming more frequent during these escapades. I only end up unlocked about 1 out of 10 times total when I initiate.
From what I'm reading, a lot of people do what we are doing too. We play once or twice a week. I initiate it every time and we either have a quick cuddle on a weeknight or a longer playtime on weekends. He's locked up both times and I get oral or finger play (both preferred over PIV). Sometimes I unlock and tease him and then lock him up and he plays with me.
I usually edge and tease my sub at least two times a day, in the morning before he goes to work and in the evening after he's finished giving me my daily massage. If I am in the mood or it's the weekend, I might edge him up to five times. I enjoy edging so he gets a lot of it. Otherwise we cuddle a lot and in the weekends we may have a shorter or longer play session depending on whether the kids are here. I tend to have him satisfy me at least once a week, sometimes more or less because I have a chronic illness and therefore am often too tired for having an orgasm. And if I don't get to come, he certainly doesn't.
Every morning my wife plays with my scrotum telling me the kinky things she will do with her bulls. If she thinks it's full enough, sooner or later be sure that she will make me empty my balls in the coffee or juice. She calls it "the breakfast of the wanker champion".
Before I started chastity, I was masturbating a lot, to the point where I was rarely interested in sex. She's very much a PIV person, so if I'm not 'up for it', then it wasn't going to happen, so even if she brought it up it was still only a 50-50 thing that I'd be interested. I started self-locking, with her knowledge, which had the effect of me being much more ready and willing, and now it's probably 50-50 on the initiation when I'm wearing.
Each night I have been instructed to ask my wife "Mistress may I have the pleasure of pleasing you?" She usually wants me to 2 or 3 times a week. Occasionally she initiates something, but that's pretty rare. She has never really embraced tease and denial or edging which makes this really hard for me. I do love giving her orgasms and never resent that. I just wish she would spend 20 minutes a week focused on my pleasure without an orgasm. My last orgasm was January 2nd and I have no idea when the next one will come. I suspect no time soon based on how she is talking. I do write her exotic stories about the two of us playing and maybe several times a year she pulls one out and acts it out with me. Those days are a little slice of heaven.
Before chastity, I initiated almost exclusively. To the point it was an issue. After chastity, she realized she had control. She loves it. She teases me multiple times a week, and she is starting to edge me. She loves my frustration. She decides when we have sex which is much more often. I may or may not get to finish. We use a strapon that I wear frequently. She is beginning to explore and enjoy her own sexuality now she is in control. And, what a wonderful exploration it is to participate in.
Initially in our relationship I always took the initiative. My wives sex drive diminished so I eventually ended up with a masturbation addiction so I rarely initiated or even had an interest. I introduced the cage with a lot of resistance and concerns. Now the initiation is about 50/50 but she always has to give the initial signal. We do a lot of cuddling and most weeks I satisfy her at least once without getting unlocked. On weekends it depends. I cuddle and caress her and initiate and if she is in the mood she will unlock me. Other times usually Friday evenings or Saturday she will unlock me. This means she will want me to initiate with her usually the next morning or many times she will start giving me oral in the middle of the night when I am sleeping which always leads to PIV sex. She now sees many advantages. 1. I cannot masturbate which made me grouchy and uninterested in her. 2. She never feels pressured to have sex. If she does not want it the cage does not come off. 3. Without masturbating I satisfy her much better than I did in years. 3. I told her when she unlocks me sex feels like it did when we just met. She loves that she gives me that much pleasure. No matter what happens with the cage coming off she insists it goes back on Sunday evenings or when she wants it. We are not in a dom/sub relationship and neither of us wants it. The closest thing we do to teasing is when I am trying to initiate sex and trying to get hard in the cage when she is in the mood she usually laughs and says you better start thinking of something else because there is no way the cage is coming off.
I'm locked 24/7 but I always have access to the key. I chose to be in chastity to curb my masturbation (also because it really appeals to my kinky side and my very vanilla wife accepts this little bit of kink in our lives) and my wife has gradually come to fully accept it. She sees its value. At the same time, all other things being equal, she would prefer me to be unlocked. I initiate sexual activity more than she does. Usually she's not interested and will nicely decline my attention. Her denial is much easier for me to accept now that I'm locked. BC (Before Chastity) I equated sex with my cumming. Now, when I initiate, my hope is that she will let me give her sexual satisfaction with my hand or tongue; I'm not hoping for an orgasm for myself. Sometimes, she'll initiate. Yesterday morning she sat up on the side of the bed. I was still in bed, which is unusual. Usually I'm up a lot earlier than she is. I reached over and gave her a friendly scratch on her back. She got back in bed and thoroughly teased me. It was great and completely unexpected! Hm-m-m, I think I'll go upstairs now. Who knows, maybe we'll have a repeat of yesterday!
Well for the past 3 months we have been enjoying chastity. My homebody is locked up several days a week. We then enjoy each other several times a week. My lover loves to lick me and we also enjoy my toys. I love to edge him and lick him. We also both love our lovemaking. It has brought a wonderful spark to our lives!!
We wife loves putting me in my cage. It makes me want her all the time! We don't lock up long term and have no intrested in that. She is in control of when I have an orgasms and am teased. Before chastity my sex drive was low, after chastity it is off the charts!!!! We have sex now 2- 10 times a week. For us chastity has brought us closer together. It strengthened our relationship, on deeper levels than both of us could have imagined. It is not something we play with to limit sex! But to enhance it x100!!!
Play for madam and me is tease and denial, or anal stimulation for me, and very occasionally an edging for me, any piv sex is off limits and madams needs are seen to by her alpha.
No PIV, no edging, no kissing, no oral. In other words nothing. Maybe a hug now and again. I'm not allowed to initiate anything.
If I hint at anything I get a spanking or a cock whipping, She likes to remind me that any sort of sex is for her pleasure, when she wants it, and on her terms