I felt I should cross post this here as a partial explanation of why I'm no longer Keyholding at this time... Thank you to everyone who has already reached out to Me to offer love and support. This might shed some light on the questions you're asking. --- “We’ve been here before.” – you said it yourself last weekend. Although… I had no idea it’d apply to this situation, too. Painfully, it does. This post will probably be short because I still haven’t processed it all… but I have to get some of this down while I can so it’s not forgotten. It’s been one of the hardest weekends of My life. I finished My Monday morning coffee and realized that after the last few days of sorting (some of) the skeletons in your closet, My daily activities will be completely different. I don’t think you have any idea how far the consequences of your actions can (and do) reach. Greeting the morning crew as I always do seemed so… misplaced. So, I didn’t. I still haven’t, aside from a vague declaration that I’m not holding this key for you anymore – on a site you don’t even visit. Each texting window I view just serves as a reminder of a darkness. An unnecessary shadow. One that you can’t seem to release. Why? I am here with you, and I always have been. I have no idea why you won’t give yourself to Me, entirely. But I cannot continue to beg for your transparency. It’s exhausting. The music we make together is so sweet in every way. It’s mostly effortless. You’re such a beautiful person to Me and so many others around you. So is our relationship. I cannot understand why you would risk it all for something so empty and damaging. Nor can I understand why you would undermine and gaslight Me without remorse… when all the while, through your actions… you opened our marriage without My consent. Physical or mental, it doesn’t make a fucking difference. I am the only one following the rules. Our vows. Something is seriously broken here. Thankfully… despite how humiliating some of it has been, I’ve been able to release some of this panic and confusion I’ve felt over the last 48 hours. I owe this to family and the friends I’ve been lucky enough to meet, both in conventional situations and across this wide web. I appreciate each and every one of you that has given Me (and us) support along the way. Especially now. Deep down, I know… particularly after speaking with all of you… no matter what happens with us, I will be okay. I will persevere, regardless.