Déjà Vu

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Breathe, Feb 19, 2019.

Random Thread
  1. Breathe
    Online

    Breathe Be true to yourself

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2017
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    6,988
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United States
    Local Time:
    12:15 AM
    I felt I should cross post this here as a partial explanation of why I'm no longer Keyholding at this time... Thank you to everyone who has already reached out to Me to offer love and support. This might shed some light on the questions you're asking.

    ---​

    “We’ve been here before.” – you said it yourself last weekend. Although… I had no idea it’d apply to this situation, too. Painfully, it does. This post will probably be short because I still haven’t processed it all… but I have to get some of this down while I can so it’s not forgotten.

    It’s been one of the hardest weekends of My life. I finished My Monday morning coffee and realized that after the last few days of sorting (some of) the skeletons in your closet, My daily activities will be completely different.

    I don’t think you have any idea how far the consequences of your actions can (and do) reach.

    Greeting the morning crew as I always do seemed so… misplaced. So, I didn’t. I still haven’t, aside from a vague declaration that I’m not holding this key for you anymore – on a site you don’t even visit.

    Each texting window I view just serves as a reminder of a darkness. An unnecessary shadow. One that you can’t seem to release.

    Why?

    I am here with you, and I always have been. I have no idea why you won’t give yourself to Me, entirely. But I cannot continue to beg for your transparency. It’s exhausting.

    The music we make together is so sweet in every way. It’s mostly effortless. You’re such a beautiful person to Me and so many others around you. So is our relationship.

    I cannot understand why you would risk it all for something so empty and damaging. Nor can I understand why you would undermine and gaslight Me without remorse… when all the while, through your actions… you opened our marriage without My consent.

    Physical or mental, it doesn’t make a fucking difference.

    I am the only one following the rules. Our vows.

    Something is seriously broken here.

    Thankfully… despite how humiliating some of it has been, I’ve been able to release some of this panic and confusion I’ve felt over the last 48 hours. I owe this to family and the friends I’ve been lucky enough to meet, both in conventional situations and across this wide web. I appreciate each and every one of you that has given Me (and us) support along the way. Especially now.

    Deep down, I know… particularly after speaking with all of you… no matter what happens with us, I will be okay.

    I will persevere, regardless.
     
  2. Junebug15
    Offline

    Junebug15 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2015
    Messages:
    5,307
    Likes Received:
    2,229
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    12:15 AM
    Sorry to hear that there are problems open all get sorted out for you.
     
    Breathe and Ma’ams Slut like this.
  3. Blue Moon
    Offline

    Blue Moon Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2017
    Messages:
    230
    Likes Received:
    268
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Driver
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Dallas, Tx
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Heartbreaking.
     
    Breathe and Ma’ams Slut like this.
  4. Gigaman
    Offline

    Gigaman Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2017
    Messages:
    364
    Likes Received:
    1,176
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    From what I have seen of you on this site you truly deserve better. Stay strong and be true to your beliefs.
     
  5. Ma’ams Slut
    Offline

    Ma’ams Slut Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2018
    Messages:
    558
    Likes Received:
    857
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    I am sorry and I hope it all can be fixed and worked out for You and him.
    You are def a strong person and personality and are appreciated here by tons of people for Your open no bs input on situation and knowledge.

    I really hope You get back to feeling good and whole


    Us guys make some stupid choices and hurt the people closest to us. Having said that I have been that bad person before but managed to pull myself out of the fire and save my relationship and marriage and made everything better then it was before .

    I hope he can do that for You also.
     
  6. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    15,427
    Likes Received:
    5,477
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    6:15 AM
    good luck
     
    Breathe and Ma’ams Slut like this.
  7. Lockedhammer
    Offline

    Lockedhammer Member

    Joined:
    Aug 31, 2018
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    62
    Trophy Points:
    13
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Breathe,

    I am sincerely saddened to here this news, you are the first person I ever chatted with on CM. You were so kind and supportive of our new journey with MC, ever since then I have seen your post and amazing words of wisdom of support to others on CM you are someone I look to as a poetic wealth of information, your post are beautiful and your messages even more so.

    I sincerely hope everything works out and that you can once again be happy!
     
    true42, Breathe, jim48 and 2 others like this.
  8. Charleston
    Offline

    Charleston Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2018
    Messages:
    108
    Likes Received:
    151
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Machinist
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South west Louisiana
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Hoping for the best outcome for you.
     
    Breathe likes this.
  9. Unlucky
    Offline

    Unlucky Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2018
    Messages:
    947
    Likes Received:
    1,394
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    It's sad to hear that things have gone so wrong. I hope the two of you can find a path to happiness whichever direction that might take each of you.
     
  10. Ma’am M
    Offline

    Ma’am M Wife/KH of Ma’ams Slut, and the F in our FLR
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2018
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    1,969
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Healthcare professional
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pennsylvania
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    I’m so sorry for this gut wrenching situation you are going through. We will miss hearing you, but we know you must take time to deal with what I’m sure is confusion and immense hurt. There will growth through this, as hard as it is.
     
  11. KatlynAshe
    Offline

    KatlynAshe Busy busy busy

    Joined:
    May 3, 2009
    Messages:
    204
    Likes Received:
    476
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Big huggles Breathe, I really hope you find solid footing for yourself. Sometimes you have to focus on you when others generate their own shitstorm and foul up everything. You are a great person and you deserve the best. So take some time to figure things out however works best for you!

    Hugs and good luck!
     
  12. Moe5
    Offline

    Moe5 Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2016
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    95
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Eau Claire, WI
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Please Stay Strong and sometimes it feels good to go into the woods or where ever and scream...just don't scare BigFoot Lol
     
    Breathe and Maid Denise like this.
  13. cshorts
    Offline

    cshorts Locked in love for SL

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2018
    Messages:
    491
    Likes Received:
    1,118
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Bay Area, California
    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Oh, @Breathe,this is heartbreaking. I am so deeply sad to hear what you are going thru. I join the many, many here who wish you the very best as you navigate these dark days.
     
    Breathe and Maid Denise like this.
  14. iome343
    Offline

    iome343 Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Messages:
    503
    Likes Received:
    386
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Italy
    Local Time:
    7:15 AM
    So sorry to hear that.
    Let the time pass by: it will help you to understand better what's going on
     
    Breathe likes this.
  15. locked_top
    Offline

    locked_top Caged tiger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2019
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    1,038
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Ouch. That's ugly.
     
    Breathe likes this.
  16. locked_top
    Offline

    locked_top Caged tiger

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2019
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    1,038
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    USA
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    It's possible to come back from that, but it ain't an easy road.
     
  17. litldick
    Offline

    litldick Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pennsylvania
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    As others have said, i wish You nothing but the best in all of this, whatever that may be for You. Brighter days are ahead Ma'am.
     
    Breathe and Maid Denise like this.
  18. henry58
    Offline

    henry58 Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2018
    Messages:
    443
    Likes Received:
    452
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    6:15 AM
    One never really comes back from something, it's the going forward that sets the mind in the best direction. Good luck.
     
  19. Maid Denise
    Offline

    Maid Denise Maid for my Goddess

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2018
    Messages:
    741
    Likes Received:
    2,538
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Port Richey, FL
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    Damm Breathe , Goddess P and me are going to pray for you and hope everything works out between you two . I have been in your shoes and I know what you are going through right now , but you have to keep your standards high and you're sprints high . Remember you will get through this . I just don't what else to say but good luck . We are going to miss you
     
    Breathe likes this.
  20. CZSteve
    Offline

    CZSteve Caged Submissive to my Beautiful Wife/KH n2toys

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2014
    Messages:
    545
    Likes Received:
    1,440
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Arlington, TX
    Local Time:
    1:15 AM
    Breathe -
    Sorry to hear, hope things get better and back on track for you soon - obviously you have a lot of caring friends here.
     
    Breathe likes this.
  21. jmanque
    Offline

    jmanque Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2018
    Messages:
    123
    Likes Received:
    166
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Occupation:
    Writer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    San Francisco
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    11:15 PM
    Dang- dang, dang, dang... and sorry. I've seen seen several friends throw it all away, or risk throwing it all away, for what is essentially an illusion. I don't know what compels people to do that, greed, a tendency towards self-destruction, or that eternal belief that the next field over is greener.
     
    Breathe, Ma’ams Slut and Rectrix like this.
  22. Miss Veronica
    Offline

    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2019
    Messages:
    237
    Likes Received:
    836
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Europe
    Local Time:
    7:15 AM
    *heartbreak* I think it's the worst when you give all of yourself - you allow yourself to be vulnerable and you trust and have faith in them - and they just can't reach that level with you.

    But, you're still keeping it classy. X
     
    Obsequious, Breathe, Digital and 2 others like this.
  23. Rectrix
    Offline

    Rectrix Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2010
    Messages:
    2,678
    Likes Received:
    5,870
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US East Coast
    Local Time:
    2:15 AM
    It's always amazing and somehow never surprising how men manage to think with the little head. You've got a tough reeducation job ahead of you, and he'll have to work so hard to rebuild trust. Good luck to both of you. Stay strong.
     
  24. sylvana chastity
    Offline

    sylvana chastity just Syl

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Messages:
    617
    Likes Received:
    2,091
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Deutschland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    7:15 AM
    Wow - me sitting around not knowing what to say is a very rare sight.
    And even though you've written down your thoughts and feelings with class and style - no one will be able to understand all of what you're going through (as well as really no one would want to be an "expert" in this kind of dilemma).
    Just feel hugged whenever you want or need to - and I will cross even more fingers than I usually own, that this (and you) will find a happy ending!
     
  25. Breathe
    Online

    Breathe Be true to yourself

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2017
    Messages:
    630
    Likes Received:
    6,988
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United States
    Local Time:
    12:15 AM
    Thank you for the support, everyone. It's a little overwhelming to know just how many people here are willing to send good vibes to someone they've never met.

    So many of you have messaged Me here and in private to send your well wishes to both of us... It means much more to Me than you'll ever know. The road towards healing is long and arduous but the trip is always worth it.

    I know I did the right thing by telling the truth, regardless of how embarrassing it sometimes felt. If anything positive can come from this thread... Let it be a testament to the power of truth and community.

    Do not underestimate the power of positivity within them, even in your darkest hour.

    Thank you all, so much... :love:
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice