Hey CM I was wondering how many guys are into being locked in chastity by their wife or girlfriend but aren’t submissive in daily everyday life? Sometimes I struggle mentally with really wanting to live this life but sometimes it’s hard when I’m not in sexual situations where I’m in alpha mode. My gf has been on board with keeping me locked but after she allows me to have sex and after I orgasm it’s realllllly hard for me to want to go back in the cage even though I know in my head in a few days I will crave it again. I feel bad going back and forth with it and after a few failed attempts I really want to get into it. I struggle with the initial week or two especially after she allows me an orgasm. Any tips on all of this? Thanks guys!
I've had similar struggles. I have to try to force myself into that mode. The easiest thing is to simply lock up immediately after climax. You will not want to do it. I've found the quicker I lock up the quicker I lose the feeling that I don't want to be chaste.
It's tricky. My wife and I have always been equals in our relationship. Our solution in the end was having a Domme friend be in charge of my chastity. Changing roles or natural chemistry within an existing relationship is always difficult.
Don't lock up straight after sex. Are you able go about 5 days with an O unlocked? Try to make the decision then.
I am one of those who loves to be locked in chastity by my wife, but there is no other aspect of our life where we are not equal partners in the marriage. We just have found this one area where I love being in my device with her holding the only keys, and she has found she enjoys holding them. It is for us less a lifestyle chastity than extended foreplay. Sometimes waaaaayyyy extended! As much as I’d like to be immediately re-locked after sex, she quite fulfilled and doesn’t see the need. For the OP. Maybe you should talk to her beforehand, in a non sexual moment and ask that she help persuade you to recage. Men will do a lot of things for the woman they love, and maybe having her simply ask you to put your cage back on might be enough to get you there.
For sure I feel the same way after a release. Chastity wasnt my idea (but I did/do agree), so my GF/KH leaves me free for some hours, just enough for me to start resetting. Then, using a whip or handcuffs, puts it back on me. By doing it this way the chastity feelings come racing back with the sound of the click and I never get "used to" either world (exactly where she wants me).
Def not into cage due to submissiveness. O control only. Wife n I are equal in every aspect even to that struggle for that 1% difference in the 49/51. Everyday life not a pushover..more like cooperative Beta up to a point. Save my O for PIV now instead of masturbating 3X a day. Tha lil fella does miss being lockedup n gets locked up following morning after PIV. Letdown feeling? Yeah a lil but Im not the mopey type!
I am not really that submissive to her day to day. She would really like me to be fully submissive to her, but knows it may not come to pass. I have become highly sexually submissive to her and we do operate as an FLR, but I am far from the butler husband some seem to become.
Try having PIV without ejaculation. Gf allow me to have PIV once every 3 months on our monthsary but only 2mins of fucking. Once the time is up, I am locked back into cage. We are still vanilla to this lifestyle but I am trying to be as submissive as possible, afterall, its been my whole life as the dominant partner.
I'm not allowed to have PIV in chastity. I'm not sure I'd want PIV anyway after 3 months for just 2 mins. If I were allowed after 3 months I'd be thinking is it worth it: high risk of cumming and for what? Unless you want to bring that bout of chastity to end or your KH does.
No cumming, I will never be allow to cum unless my KH wants to have kids. I have to tell her if I feel like cumming during the 2mins and I have to pull out and end the whole session. Apart from leaking and any form of uncontrol ejaculation, my KH has made it very clear that if I ever cum, this whole chastity lifestyle is over.
That is about the strictest denial I’ve seen here on CM. Interesting. I’d be curious how that all came about.
Mrs Edge and I are not in an FLR or D/S arrangement. Like you, I found it difficult at first to lock it back on right away. Yes, a couple of days later, I was all for it, but an orgasm certainly left me not in the mood. We had a situation in which Mrs Edge wanted some sex, and I was allowed to come, but the circumstances were such that I had to get locked up immediately afterward (she had to rush off someplace). I discovered that being "forced" to lock up literally a couple of minutes afterward was very hot and arousing an hour later. We tried this several more times, and each time (though difficult), made me even more aroused within a short period of time.
This conflict between the alpha external life and the need-to-be-chaste domestic life is common among the men here. Indeed, for many of us, it is the stress of the external alpha life that requires and drives the submissive chaste life. It creates a way for us to tilt the playing field in our wife's direction. It seems apparent to me that the real problem you're experiencing is that you have orgasms too frequently. Sex will be better for you when it becomes directed to her pleasure; either don't unlock, or don't go to orgasm. In either case, your chastity will become easier and more fulfilling. The fact that you crave it again in a few days is proof that you'll be better, calmer, more centered on her and gain greater emotional relief from the external pressures of being alpha if you simply don't orgasm (or become erect) in the first place. It's Locktober -- why not try to go the rest of the month and see if we're right.
^This describes our relationship. I had cock rings for years as jewelry, and some very nice actual penis jewelry. The one day a cage came into our lives and now we have just a magical world of penis pretties to wear every day. I love being locked up by my wife. But I also like that we use it as spice in our now once again VERY active and daily sex life game. We actually get bummed out when we have to go out or something. Our house has turned into a paradise of sex.