im putting this question in this section, hope its ok. im not submissive per se, im also dominant, but she demands me to be caged 24/7, and I comply with this request. after such session she puts me back in cage, and she takes my sexual controll again. its kind of paradox this switching, and sometimes im confused.. any out here with same experience?
It sounds like you "service top" her, which I've certainly done. You can regard it as part of the range of erotic services you offer her.
I'd say there's nothing wrong about a switch being dominant one day and happily chaste the next day, or maybe even having fun topping someone even if in chastity at the moment. There's no "right" way of playing with chastity; anything that's both sane and makes you both happy is almost certainly okay. Say you want to give your lady so many orgasms she'll be totally spent and unable to take more, because doing so would make you feel both happy and super-capable? Maybe you enjoy fucking her brains out and staying ready and eager in case she's up for another round later? Maybe you like fucking her with wild abandon, giving her as much pleasure as you can, and knowing you're not allowed to come helps you stop chasing your own orgasm and focus on her pleasure? Whatever your reason might be, I see nothing wrong about taking the lead and doing what makes you both happy, even if you're in chastity at the moment. Sure, you might feel like you're weird by most people's standards. But you're hardly unique - for example, you can find accounts of men who sometimes orgasm from fucking their lady with a strapon, even if they're in chastity themselves. So don't worry about not being like most guys who are into chastity and be happy you're discovering what makes you two happy.
My partner and I are both pretty switchy. She's naturally submissive and outside of the bedroom(and inside when the moment is right) naturally dominant. However, we've found that chastity and limiting my orgasms makes things just right for us. She feels more confident, I'm more adoring and so we go with it. There are definitely moments in the bedroom when I'm unlocked, that I can feel her craving me being rough with her, so I go for it.
Dominant men can be subs because being a sub is a role in a relationship dynamic. There is a difference between being a dominant man and being a male Dom. The same as being a submissive man and a make male sub. I have dommed both dominant and submissive men - they took on the role as a sub. I have also dommed a Dom, but that was because during our session he took on the sub role. What's even more intriguing, I have a Dom friend who is chaste, because of his own desire, not because he has a KH or Domme. He stays chaste during his BDSM sessions with his female submissive. But, if your partner is locking you up and when she sets you free allows you to take sexual charge, then you are still in the role of sub because she decides when that sexual charge is over. She owns the car but is just letting you drive for a little while.
I can relate. I am an alpha dominant. For over a decade, my wife was my submissive in our 24/7 D/s lifestyle. Today, I remain alpha in all things outside of the home except that I am caged and enjoy serving my wife in our FLM dynamic. Good luck with things!
Having a submissive temperament is a disposition. Being a sub/submissive in a relationship dynamic is a position. A man having a submissive temperament doesn't automatically make him a sub. Yes, it can be more natural for submissive men to be in the sub position, but dominant men are often in sub positions too.
Sure. My wife wants me to be the “dominant” one, but insists on my chastity. She wants me to be dominant in most respects, but she controls my genitals.
Yes a locked man can be dominant if that’s the arrangement that they have. For example just because your locked 24/7 doesn’t mean your life stops. In your work you may need to be dominant as a boss or leader in your work. Maybe your Keyholder wants you to be dominant even when locked. What ever fires up your engine, their aren’t any rules. How ever your relationship works is the right way.
Yes. I am the ruler of the roost. I give the keys to my sex freely to my misses. She is my everything and can do with me what she wants. Period.
Your current situation is very familiar to me, im completly submissive while im locked which my wife most deffinatly demands in our marriage...until the lock comes off. After that im dominant again and get to have the rough fun i like...but 2 or 3 times a month! After were done and laying back, im locked again, she resumes her crown in our wonderful version of FLM.
I missed this thread originally. I am dominant in our relationship, except that my submissive girlfriend locks me up. We both enjoy her having control over my cock.
You can most certainly switch back and forth. I've done it. While "dominate" my submissive side lingers behind while I delightfully toy with the submissive pet in front of me. With this said you do have to be careful about playtime balance if you or your partner are more submissive/dominate. We are often creatures of habit, but simultaneously we'll let our true desires boil without voicing them sometimes. So as long as both partners understand what they want and push out time for what they both crave it can work really well. Having one or both partners switch is more difficult than a single dynamic though.
My wife is very vanilla and loves time to time being in the hand of an alpha male with takes her in manly but very respectfull way. It is a role playing that she orderred me to play and we play it her way for her fantasy. She is still in control and nothing she dosn't want will happen. I have study and learn the role and what she expect me to do at that time. of course when it is the end I go back to clean the house and serve her as she relaxes. A dominant women can have sub fantasy as she know that nothing she dislike will happen.
Good question and for some in my enviroment the answer was quite hard to learn.... I consider myself self-centered and self-confident and in my job maybe even somewhat dominant... Out of my own choice though I fully submit to ONE woman, my wife. And yes - both is natural to me. My sometimes seen dominant side to others as well as my submissive side towards my wife. That's something people sometimes get mixed up seeing me interacting with my wife. I do not mind beeing called henpecked, but anyone treating me likewise will be put right straight away.