Build me up. Bring me down...

Her Little Helper.

She needs more than what any one man or woman could ever provide. As Her pet and husband, I feel it’s my duty to ensure She gets Her complete fill.

Sometimes, She needs a bigger, thicker cock than ours. Sometimes, She doesn’t want to use the one She loves most. She wants it tucked away, safe in its cage. I imagine, it’s because She wants the focus of Her pet to be on keeping the rest of Her stimulated while She aggressively rides and fucks a bigger man’s cock.

Pet can’t touch Her as graciously wherever She pleases if he’s beneath Her, focusing on staying on the right side of the edge. So. Behind Her, holding Her hair. Squeezing and pinching Her nipples. Kissing Her sweat covered neck and shoulders. She loves these things while She’s filled and getting Her fix of a thick cock prodding in and out of Her pussy.

She can become so primal. A sweaty, moaning mess yet somehow, still clearly and utterly in control of everyone and everything in the room. She doesn’t even have to try. When She speaks…everyone obeys. It’s in Her nature to lead. To get what She wants. She always does. She always will.

She wants to tease me. She loves to tease me. She sits me out of arms reach while She gets filled and warmed up. “No touching.” It kills me. But, it thrills me even more. Turning me into that begging, desperate pet She claimed.

The mind fuck is enough to bring those denied and would be erections to a boiling point of tears. Grinding a coat of enamel off the top of my teeth. Feeling my nails pulling off my fingers a little as I tug at the sheets harder than I realize.

Yet…this is where I want to be for Her. The wonder of why doesn’t exist. Thoughts and arousal is too loud and fast to think of anything else. Adrenaline induced by Owners antics is almost an outer body experience. I’d be convinced it is, if I couldn’t feel every fiber of my body on their edges.

@Breathe has me reeling today. Her mind is a dangerously undeniable place to happily get lost in.

 

Her orgasms have become my mecca. Truthful, fulfilling satisfaction. A place I always want to go. Always want to be. Always want to take Her. Always want to show Her. Remind Her of. Treat Her to. No matter how She gets there. As long as I help along the way. Whether that means providing our cock for Her to ride and use or by being Her helper with another. Whether She wants my mouth or my fingers. My words or my sounds. My desperation or my need. My suffering or my pleading.

She’s the perfect painting in every angle of light or shadow for me. The perfect song with the perfect rhythm and tempo. Enough to give me goosebumps. Enough to make me shiver and grind my teeth until my jaw is sore.

I fight a constant edge the moment She lets me in. Fighting to get on top of mine in order to get Her to Hers. I used to love getting to my edge. I used to anticipate, selfishly when I was there, when She would eventually let me go over that edge. No need to worry about that anymore. I know that’s beyond me now. So. I fight through it. Find the comfort zone so I can continue to work on Hers.

Her pleasure shows two faces. One appears as a slow build. I can follow it, over a period of time and feel it grow until I see the edge from a short distance away. These are the ones I can stay with Her for. Push through and stay inside while She moans and quakes. The other face isn’t so easy to read. Everything seems normal. Then, all of a sudden, things get loud, fast and intense all in a moment. I don’t see the edge from afar. It, all of a sudden appears and I’m not prepared to deal with it. I panic because of the rush I feel when we get there. Sometimes, it results in a ruin for Her. Thankfully, She knows I don’t try to do this to Her. She doesn’t get upset at me for this. I just have to work harder and get back to it until She can finish properly. Until She rolls off of me and I see the glow. Then I know I’ve done good for Her. I see that smile and I feel my adrenaline finally start to diminish. It feels the same as it used to feel to have an orgasm for myself. Except the added layer of satisfaction is seeing that She’s completely spent and flushed within Her own.

 

4 weeks ago, @Breathe and I prepared to part ways from one of our monthly 3 day visits with each other. We did this under the impression we would have a little bit of a longer stretch of waiting to be together. Although this was the case, we were both optimistic about it. Considering the next interaction would be Her coming to Canada to stay with me until the remainder of our immigration process concluded and we could begin our lives together.

She had a lot of work to do to wrap up and complete Her masters. She was (as always) determined and had a plan. Sometimes, no matter how much planning you do, obstacles get in the way and push your time frames around.

As I settled back into my weekly routines here in Canada, I felt something different begin to develop after about two weeks. We received news that would set our immigration process back even more time. Her timeline for completing Her masters was turning out to be longer than we both projected. With these realisations, I feel as though I began to mentally prepare myself for a longer wait. We've both had a lot on our minds since the turn of the year. Anticipation. Stress. Anxiety. Deadlines. The unknown. Excitement. It's all made time a very sensitive issue for the both of us. I could tell, my brain was starting to shift in a way I hadn't felt before.

While I remained locked as long as I'm not with Her, I started to only think about the fact I was locked after days. It would dawn on me that I hadn't even thought about being locked for days. I hadn't felt any of those pulsing attempts at erections. Even now that I'm writing about it, I realize I wasn't even applying oil to keep things lubricated. Which tells me that I wasn't getting aroused, at all. I wasn't even thinking about my Wife in sexual ways. Which is pretty fucked for me considering She's a hurricane of sexual stimulation for me.

My attention shifted greatly towards composing music. Songwriting, travel plans, real estate plans. Reading literature on where we would be living. Pretty much everything aside from our D/s dynamic. I was preparing, subconsciously, to not torture my mind with want, need and relentless disappointment stemming from the fact I had no idea when I would be able to touch, smell or taste my Wife again. No set dates have always been hard for me to handle. Knowing it would be six weeks, two months or maybe longer wasn't something I liked to think about.

With so much going on, it slipped my mind that I had a holiday coming up in a week. Canada Day would give me a statutory holiday and thus, presenting the option, should She be able, to meet for 3 nights. I mentioned this to Her and there wasn't any discussion. It was confirmed immediately.

Oh, how the brain works when it goes from one end of a spectrum to the other. HAPPY PET ENGAGED!

I woke up the following morning and it was as if She slid a depth charge of positive, anxious, needy, exciting emotion up my ass and turned it's vibrating feature on Yyyeeeaaahhhhhhh!!!!

When I heard Her voice, I could just feel my insides starting to heat up. Biting my lip. Making all the weird sounds that I make to exude happiness and the desire to see Her. Between our daily phone calls, while I sit at my desk working, I always notice something when I start getting incredibly anxious. My legs won't stop moving. They were dancing. Usually a mix between what I call 'drummers' feet and just mindless bouncing in all directions. In a sense, I guess I look like I'm sketched out and eager for my next fix. Which is kind of concerning when I think about how others would view me in that state. Anyway...

I need my fix and knowing it's coming in a few days, my mind has raced with all the memories, visions, daydreams and thoughts that always race through my mind before I get to be with my Wife again. I try my hardest to smell Her. I can, in my mind. I can taste Her. But it's not enough to think it. So, it drives me up the fucking walls thinking about how I have to wait it out for 4 more days.

I would much rather and definitely enjoy a part of that sensation. What I know I don't enjoy is realizing that an unknown gap in time before I get to be with Her makes me tune out our dynamic. Not a fan of that feeling. Much more a fan of scratching surfaces, climbing walls and anticipating what She has in store for us.

She's my best friend. My Wife. My Owner and my KH. That said, I'm going to go climb a wall.

 

Slow. Pt. 1

It always amazes me, to what degree our D/s dynamic escalates while we’re together. There most certainly has never been a dull period or moment between us. Not by a long shot. As I’ve said before, You’re an incredible fucker!

Something out of the ordinary for Friday night happened during this last half way point of meeting. Although the typical urge and pleasure to eat Your pussy and ass took place…after making me wait like an hour to go get food… (not happy!) The vibe seemed much different from the moment we arrived. As we spoke about our lives together, Your hands wandered slowly and softly over my naked body. I didn’t realize it at first, but only afterwards is when I knew You were already warming up my submission. Maybe not on purpose or intentionally. Maybe, You just wanted me to relax. Either way, it helped me sink in.Taking things slow (physically speaking) has become something that places me on an elevated edge


Your hands have always brought my skin to life. No matter the scenario. It felt so nice to relax and talk as You soothed me. Eventually, releasing our cock from the cage. You know what happens then. You know how immediately throbbing and thick and swollen it gets. You know what Your hands around it does to me. How I lose my grip on everything and start writhing like a mad pet.

You know how much I love looking up at You. How badly I love to see You from above controlling our cock. Whether it be with Your hands or while You use it to satisfy Your pussy. It drives me off another edge when You ask me why I’m gripping everything and groaning in a physically pleading manner. “What is it?” Even when You know what it is. I know You like to hear me say “I want inside You so badly.”

It’s agonizing when You reject my desperate hips. Or hold our cock and sway over top of it. You know I haven’t seen or felt You in weeks and yet You still won’t let me. It’s no wonder I get to the point where my eyes well up. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t get angry. Because I miss You too much for anger and something inside me knows You’re not being cruel to me.

When You finally let me in, it took less than 15 seconds before I had to re-grasp my composure. How easy it would be to wander off that edge into an orgasm. I had to calm myself down. Unable to control myself, I kept speeding up, slowing down, speeding up, slowing down. Until You flexed Your control and slowed everything down, entirely. You’re always in charge. Even when You let me go, You know I’m going to follow when You make a point to take charge again. When You…step in.

Slow has become the most difficult edge for me to keep my balance on. It feels as though the clock, time, the revolving planet and the movement of life in general comes to almost a complete stop. Like it all moves with You. Like You control it all. You certainly create the illusion of it with Your ability to lead me.

I don’t know how to explain the breathless moments I felt when You decided to wrap Your fingers around my neck. I’m not sure why that triggers me to hold my breath. It’s not a matter of me telling myself, consciously to hold my breath. I know I can breathe through Your grip. It just…happens. An intensity that hasn’t often entered our sexual explorations. New. It created a heavy, slow vibe in the room.

With my head sunk into the pillows and Your hand around my throat. Our cock buried inside You and Your slow hips moving to take me deep, the edge was higher than usual. I’m not sure how to explain feeling closer to You while Your hand was gripping my neck and Your eyes were locked on mine. I just know it felt a bit heavier and a bit deeper.

 

Slow Pt.2

It’s never been a surprise that spontaneous acts unfold into intense and emotionally charged hours of play between us. The last episode before we finally become a normal married couple (in the sense of living together and that is the ONLY normal thing about us) generated some very deep and intense moments.

As I reflect, I smile. Watching You get up and sway Your hips away from me. Where were You going? You returned and graciously slid a cock inside my mouth. With no hesitation, I sucked and slurped. You didn’t wait long to join me. How I have fallen in love with sharing a cock with You. Your big, luscious lips and the tongue I love so much lapping and licking with mine. I eagerly fight the hard cock between us to get a teasing touch of Yours while we share. It brought on an immediate erection. One that existed because You had let me out of the cage, so You could use me for a while.

Your appetite for pleasure sees no boundary. You wanted more than what I could provide. While keeping the rooms mood filled with love and passion. You’ve never failed at that. We’ve tampered with these terminologies in our fantasies and explorations. Cuckold, sharing, Hotwife, humiliation. All I understand for sure is love and care has always been at the forefront.

You let me back inside. I had no idea what would follow. But, I loved it.

I suddenly felt myself slip out. When I tried, on my own, to get back in, You were already full and moaning. Kissing me and staying close. With another cock inside You. I could feel myself trying to thrust. I wasn’t inside though. I could feel those balls grazing my shaft. I could hear them slapping off Your cheeks. They weren’t mine. Yet, I was so incredibly hard and so heated. I gripped You. Helped Your hips move. Then You let me back inside. A trade. Why just leave that second cock to waste while You gifted me the pleasure of Your pussy? You’re smarter than that. Which is why You had me suck Your juices of it. What a lovely moment.

It only got better. When You decided not to force me out of You. I could feel that other cock head against my balls before I felt what almost sent me over the edge.

I felt something similar to the “wall” I’ve described to You before. That firm spot when I’m deep enough inside You at the right angle. A firm, wet spot that the underside of our cock seems to glide perfectly along and always leads to an immediate cliff. A heavy edge.

I wasn’t that deep though. It wasn’t that angle. It was a different wall of pleasure. It was another cock thrusting and grinding against ours while inside You. Two cocks. Soaked and coveted by Your pussy. Working You. Pleasing You. My eyes locked on Yours as I hit the edge. Thoughts just spinning out of control. I fucking loved it. I loved You in that moment for introducing a second cock into Your pussy while ours was inside You. We both know what happens when my eyes go numb like that. I’ve hit the edge. “No” is what I always exclaim as I quickly pull out before I lose it all.

The intensity never subsided. Never calmed. The thrusting, breathing and moaning just kept echoing. My nails kept digging into new places along Your hips, thighs and sides. That edge You bring me to is so addictive. I’m sure something about it being our last time in that place was somewhere in the back of our heads. I can’t completely connect the level of desire and the shift in my mentality to that thought. I just assume it helped.

We’d spoken many times about the post-male-orgasm state of mind. We’ve shared differences and agreements on it. Anticipating and planning for releases has been a weakness (if You even want to call it that) of ours considering our relationships logistics over the past 4 years.

There was a perfect moment. A moment that felt like so many before. The moment where things are at a peak and I hit the last step on the edge and say “No” as I try to pull out only to be met with Your increased hip movements and a “yes. Cum for me.” I was anticipating this was that moment. All the patterns of the past lined up. Except for where my mind went. My thoughts were not the same as before. Quickly, I realized I was hoping You wouldn’t say it. I was hoping to feel this submissive heat longer. I wanted the sacrifice of holding onto the load to stay in that state of mind longer. I didn’t want to feel that down time of submission.

I pulled out. You never stopped me. You never said it and I felt so good not hearing it. I kept going. We fucked until You came. Until we were both defeated by our physical endurance. I get off (without getting off) on Your orgasms and I felt the “cum drunk” feeling as we lay there. We picked ourselves up after calming down and went outside into the heated day time sun. I spoke to You about my new instinct. You smiled, and I thought to myself about how pleased I was to not be currently feeling that post-orgasm withdrawal from submission.

Thank You, @Breathe . For locking me and training me. The future holds no bounds for us.

 

Ever Evolving.

Prior to meeting my Wife, I was typically masturbating 2 times a day. On days of heavier arousal…3 to 4 times. I was a single male, late 20’s with almost vacant past experiences with relationships and women. I spent a lot of time online…getting off. What I didn’t really know at that time was that I was simply going through the motions and my orgasms weren’t anywhere near as impactful as I learned they could be.

I’m glad I’m learning.

Post orgasm mind-states have been something my Wife hasn’t been fond of. I tend to drop off the map of submission for a couple days after a full orgasm occurs. While I feel no shame for feeling a natural, chemical imbalance created by nature itself, I can say that I understand why She’s not a fan of my mentality after full release.

The post orgasm version of myself seems to completely check out of our dynamic for a while. I tend to ‘turn off’ when it comes to our dynamic. I don’t focus on Her needs or wants much, if at all. Generally, I’m not living my entire life to do every little thing for Her at every single turn; I still hold onto a mentality that connects me to my position in our marriage and life together. We’ve never had interest in Her micromanaging my life. We’ve never had an interest in an extremely one-sided work load in the household. That’s simply not us. We work as a team. Post orgasm me checks out entirely. While the evidence isn’t as clear as it may be for other couples with a stricter dynamic and a consensual imbalanced work load, it’s still clear to both of us that full orgasms play a part in our dynamic.


Chastity has helped me (and us) in a lot of ways I don’t think either one of us could have predicted. Ambition outside of our dynamic. Energy levels, optimistic thinking. Not to mention sexual desires. It’s also increased my ability to think outside the box and try new things that I have normally been hesitant or dismissive about. It’s brought me to a different frame of mind regarding full orgasms.

A month ago, was our final 3-day meetup before finally living together. While many wonderful feelings and emotions were vibrantly painted between the walls, there was a moment that felt like many moments we shared in the past. It’s a moment that is unfortunate for us to even have to share. Because of our schedules and distance, for a long time, there was a certain obligatory feeling She had towards giving me release. Considering we wouldn’t see one another for 3 or 4 weeks. This was pre-chastity. We weren’t as developed in our dynamic as we have been over the past 7 months. After a few occurrences, I started to notice the pattern. We both did. It led to me having performance anxiety issues. Because I knew pretty much down to the hours when a good time for it to happen was. This bothered both of us. I am very easily aroused by spontaneity. Which is kind of fucked considering my Wife and I are both control freaks. Albeit, in different ways, but still. Maybe that’s why when She does things I don’t see coming, I crawl the walls.

After it became too predictable is when my Wife began changing the game. I’ll never forget the first time we parted ways after Her telling me She isn’t going to let me cum. It was frustrating while still being arousing at the same time. I felt that level of control from Her that really excited me. I also didn’t seem to drop from my submissive desires for Her after we parted ways. Usually, it takes a day of two for me to bounce back and start showing signs of eager, desperate and anxious need towards Her.

During that moment, something different happened to me. While I was anticipating Her to tell me to cum, my brain went in a different direction. I started wrestling with the thought that I wanted to say “no” to Her if She told me to. To tell Her I didn’t want to because I didn’t want to lose my eagerness to please Her and remain completely submissive towards Her.

She never ended up telling me to cum. I decided to tell Her, while we were smoking in the sweltering sun. After I helped get Her to orgasm a second time. Just felt right to tell Her that. She was proud of me. Happy. As was I. Times are a changin’.

It’s realizing these things or thinking back to moments like that further down the road that make me truly see and feel Her ability to train me. Grooming me to become more accepting and willing to go about my life without full orgasms has been something I know She’s wanted very much. Whether or not She wants to eliminate them entirely is something I don’t fully know the answer to. She has told me it’s not Her plan. However, orgasm denial has clearly become something that intoxicates Her. But. It’s also becoming intoxicating for me, as well.

Last night, She rode me and began teasing me by dipping our cock in and out of Her pussy. She knows how eager this makes me. I get aggressive and I try to force my way in. Sometimes, She just laughs and lets me fuck at my own will. She wasn’t having it this time. She was heavy on the teasing and kept me at bay. This tends to make me a “brat” in Her words. I try to get inside. Fight Her for it but eventually, She says or does something that makes me completely submit and obey.

It turned into Her stroking me. She edged me, relentlessly, for what I can only guess was close to 45 minutes or an hour. She kept me in a state of intense arousal the entire time. Working our cock until I would belt out the predictable “no!” which tells Her anymore is too far and I’ll spill. When She stops, it either subsides or a small trickle of cum will leak out. When it does leak out, it is bliss. She kept at this. Having reached these little ruins a couple of times before I found myself in what I can only describe as a state so close to an orgasm without actually cumming.

I’m not sure where I went, but I felt beside myself. Toes curled. Speechless. Eyes glazed over and half shut. Jaws clenching with the tingly feeling in the back of my teeth. Yet, I wasn’t ejaculating. I was just holding on for the ride. What a ride it was. She kept me there. Then I slipped out of it into a calm state. Thinking I was coming down. Until a few strokes of Her hand sent me back in. Eventually, She pushed me a little further and I spurt three…maybe four nice spurts. I thought for sure that it was too far. She doesn’t like sending me into a full orgasm and honestly, I get down on myself really fast if I go too far because I know how it makes Her feel.

I was about to slip into that disappointed state as She did Her test and wrapped Her fingers around the head of our cock. It was sensitive. But, it wasn’t body jerking to get away sensitive. She slid Her hand down the shaft and I groaned deeply. She kept going and I buried my face in Her tits and rode that wave a little while longer. She was happy. I could see how pleased She was. It turned me around. I moaned, and I writhed in Her grip. Until She asked me what I wanted, and I told Her I wanted to taste Her pussy. She said “then get off Your back and do it.”

I dove between Her thighs and I licked Her soaked pussy with eager starvation. Kissed up Her stomach and chest until I met Her lips. She guided my hand to Her pussy and I started to rub. “Find it.” I worked my way around until I found Her clit and Her expression told me She was in the vicinity of cumming. So, I rubbed and rubbed, and circled and rubbed until She started gushing and spraying all over the sheets. Soaking our bed.

Had that ruined orgasm been a full orgasm, She wouldn't have came. That fact has registered with me and I'm becoming much more thankful for the ruined orgasms as opposed to the full ones.

I do believe there is a happy place where that desire remains strong after full release. But...I believe it takes much practice and extensive training to achieve. I hope to get there.

What a wonderfully perfect ‘nap’ after getting home from work. I look forward to nap time much more now that You’re here, @Breathe. <3

 

I appreciate the kind words. Thanks.

 

They're definitely onto something. I think it's letting their stubborn sense of control out in full bloom. Lol. Can't deny the allure of it. Always coming back for more.

Glad to share. Thanks for reading.

 

Staying in the zone took me a while to appreciate more than the price of an orgasm. I still question myself as to what the hell has happened to my life. But. Then quickly realize it's a comfortable place to live. Regardless of the insanity She sends coursing through my body. That just adds to the fun.

Thanks. It's already been remarkably soothing and less stressful having Her around.

 

I've read some literature stating it can be curbed. With a lot of practice and time. Even after an orgasm. Ahem, @Breathe , maybe...just maaaybe we could build towards that? Maybe? Just...like...maybe?
Anyway. I'm digging a hole here . Better divert focus!

 

Story of my life. Always playing catch up with You!