beginning the journey with my wife

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by stonie110, Dec 20, 2015.

Top Posters
Page 2 of 6
Random Thread
  1. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #26 stonie110, Jan 19, 2016
    Well she has said that she doesn't want to be in charge and wants us to forget the whole thing.
    Everything she said whilst we we're trying chastity has been a lie. She said she liked that i couldn't play with myself but now she said she doesn't mind.
    Lots of things she said has been lies.
    I don't know what to believe at the minute. I still love her deeply but i don't trust anything she says at the minute.
    My head is all over the place as she kept saying she liked how close we had become and that it had improved our marriage but now i haven't got a clue if she was telling me the truth or not
     
  2. azaphrale
    Offline

    azaphrale Open to almost everything, looking for nothing.

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2014
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Cashier
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Aspen
    Local Time:
    11:00 AM
    #27 azaphrale, Jan 19, 2016
    Sir, I do understand that you have an immense amount of frustration and desire stowed up (pun intended) but i ask you to consider that Your wife hasn't gone through the same progression of kink. She (may) see it as something huge, intimidating and otherwise quite odd. She may be submissively oriented herself, or simply (based on what you said) not be healthy or uninhibited enough to have similar intensity of desire. If i were you I would consider buying a few introductory erotica novels about femdom, or similar kink related activities. If you engage her mind, and give her an opportunity to develop her own kinks, for a time she may come around of her own accord. The female mind is the most acessable erotic organ to turn on a woman!

    Hope this helps
     
  3. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #28 stonie110, Jan 19, 2016
    She wouldn't even read 50 shades of grey so i doubt she will read anything else
     
  4. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #29 stonie110, Jan 19, 2016
    I'm not angry that she doesn't want to continue the journey, yes i am disappointed but it's not the end of the world, its that she has either lied to me for the last 6 months or she is lying to me now that i can't get my head around.
     
  5. DarkKnight
    Offline

    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2015
    Messages:
    228
    Likes Received:
    192
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Colorado
    Local Time:
    11:00 AM
    #30 DarkKnight, Jan 19, 2016
    Im reading that she at least tried, for your benefit, to give you what you wanted. That in itself is huge. To restate what @azaphrale said, you have most likely had lots of time to study and build up in your head an ideal situation. She is way behind you in understanding WHY you want this, What it does / means to you. It may be outside her comfort zone, beliefs, boundaries.

    Did you have trust issues prior to this? Chastity will not resolve relationship, trust, fidelity issues.

    Also, Im sorry to say, no matter how much we hope, you can not change a person - they change themselves. She may never come around to this.
     
  6. DarkKnight
    Offline

    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2015
    Messages:
    228
    Likes Received:
    192
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Colorado
    Local Time:
    11:00 AM
    #31 DarkKnight, Jan 19, 2016
    I dont read this as lieing but, maybe going along with your wishes to make you happy.
     
  7. hdi
    Offline

    hdi Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2016
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    vermont
    Local Time:
    1:00 PM
    #32 hdi, Jan 22, 2016
    Thank you for sharing your journey. What you are experience sounds like what we would like to achieve here.
     
  8. kkeeiitthh
    Offline

    kkeeiitthh Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2014
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    182
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Healthcare
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pennsylvania
    Local Time:
    1:00 PM
    #33 kkeeiitthh, Jan 23, 2016
    Worry not. As long as you're submissive, attentive, and show her all the benefits of keeping you locked, before you know it SHE WILL prefer you locked. I speak from experience;)
     
  9. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #34 stonie110, Mar 21, 2016
    Well its been a while but we have talked and she decided she would like to try again. So fingers crossed this time. I have agreed not to put any pressure on her at all and let her go at her pace
     
  10. CagedAnimal2
    Offline

    CagedAnimal2 Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 3, 2016
    Messages:
    603
    Likes Received:
    327
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    MA, USA
    Local Time:
    1:00 PM
    #35 CagedAnimal2, Mar 21, 2016
    No topping from the bottom! Just give her lots of attention and affection. Show her what's in it foe HER and forget your own needs.
     
  11. Caged Wolf
    Offline

    Caged Wolf A Wolf, even caged, is still a Wolf.

    Joined:
    May 2, 2012
    Messages:
    1,582
    Likes Received:
    650
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Pacific Northwest
    Local Time:
    10:00 AM
    #36 Caged Wolf, Mar 22, 2016
    Hold yourself to this statement... If you are submitting to Her, then She will ask you if She has any questions...
     
    stonie110 and CagedAnimal2 like this.
  12. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #37 stonie110, Mar 28, 2016
    Things are going well. I had a 6 day stint last week with no orgasm. Then she let me out and we made love under her instructions.
    She has said she feels more comfortable doing it this time as I'm not pressuring her and going at her pace.
    Ordered a few more spanking tools for her to use as she didn't like the paddle.
    Last time we tried chastity we were trying to follow how some others had done it on a blog we read and it was too much pressure for her apparently. Even though she wanted to do it that way.
    Anyway I've been on nights for last 4 nights so hopefully tonight we may get to play if she wants.
    It is so hard to not top from the bottom but I'm really trying not too.
    Last time we did it she would have me wear her pants if i went to my friends. I'm hoping she does this again.
    We've never done a long lock up yet as she didn't want to. I think she feels guilty if she doesn't let me orgasm.
    She has said that she wants to try prostate milking and master ruined orgasms.
    I'm just happy that my wife is willing to try to make this work
     
    Caged Wolf and CagedAnimal2 like this.
  13. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #38 stonie110, Mar 29, 2016
    Well last night i massaged and kissed her feet while she watched a whole film. I loved it. I don't think she realises how turned on i get with her feet.
    After the film had finished i was told to get the magic wand out. After she had had ger orgasm she put my adaptor on and used it on me. she said i could cum as she didn't want to be selfish yet. She stopped it just before i was ready to cum. Then it spurted out. But then she switched it back on as she likes to see me squrm. But i don't think she realised that she had given me a ruined orgasm until she carried on.

    How can i assure her that not letting me reach full orgasm everytime is not being selfish???
     
  14. keephimcaged
    Offline

    keephimcaged
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    790
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #39 keephimcaged, Mar 29, 2016
    Firstly thanks for being so honest about your journey, it's been a really interesting read. I can very much sympathise with your wife as I've come for a similar position although hubby and I have always been kinky, but I've always been the sub (although we're both switchy).

    In regard to the being selfish thing, what's really helped me is the idea that if I let hubby cum I'm trading in 20 seconds of intense pleasure for him at the loss of hours or days or lower level but still strong arousal and pleasure at that. So in a way it's selfish to LET him cum just because I like to see him spurt.

    I don't know if my blog is any use to your wife, it started out quite vanilla picture wise but I got into more explicit posts the last six months.
    But if you check out some of the early stuff there from last year it could be useful. Also the HealthySexyMarriage blog is fab.

    One of the biggest things that's helped us over the years, before chastity play and since, has been a shared private tumblr blog where we both post things that arouse us (but you have to be VERY controlled in what you put there at first!).

    The mods have just set up a women only chatroom on here and I'd be happy to talk to her if she was interested in that, or she can send me a message on my blog.

    Jane xxx
     
    Jasmic68 and slave_m like this.
  15. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #40 stonie110, Mar 29, 2016
    I will let her know. I have asked her to join up here. She has got access to my account and posts. I have agreed not to talk about it a lot and not put pressure on her so at minute I'm letting her do it her way before i suggest anything and top from the bottom.

    I have read a lot of men after a full orgasm get depressed or feel down. I suppose i do for about a hour. But by next morning I'm back to normal and would do anything she asked of me.

    I think the longest I've gone without a orgasm is 8 days
     
  16. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #41 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    Well last night was different. We went to bed and was having our usual good night cuddle. We started to kiss good night but it felt so passionate. We kept kissing and my hands started to wonder.
    She didn't tell me to stop so i carried on and was teasing her down below.
    She took my hand on placed it on her crotch. She was grinding against my hand. She took her pants off and i gave her a orgasm by hand and then asked to lick her to another orgasm
    My cock was straining in its cage
    We both went to the toilet. Kissed goodnight and went to sleep.
    It was the first time i have been denied and i am not sure how i feel.
    I am haapy i could pleasure her and her not feel guilty about it but i was dying to have piv with her.
    Oh well she is in charge
     
    CagedAnimal2 likes this.
  17. keephimcaged
    Offline

    keephimcaged
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    790
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #42 keephimcaged, Mar 30, 2016
    Wait what? This is the way you hoped things would happen and you're already whining about not getting exactly what you want?!!!
    No wonder she keeps going hot and cold with this! And if you're saying it here then trust me, she is feeling mixed messages from you about it too, we pick this shit up.
    She made a huge leap in just focusing on her pleasure and NOT feeling guilty about it. Focus on that and not what your little caged dick is wanting. She needs encouragement and complete positivity from you. You need to be telling her how hot it was she didn't even let you out, several times. And buy her some flowers!

    Oh and PS myself and most of the other women I know who are into this HATE the term PIV
     
    SlaveBoy73, Jasmic68, slave_m and 1 other person like this.
  18. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #43 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    I think I've come across wrong here. I am not whining. I text her this morning as i had left for work before she got up and told her that i enjoyed last night. And as she is off work tommorow that she should put her feet up all day and I'll do the chores at the weekend when I'm off work. We both work silly shifts.
    I was just trying to say that it felt weird not being allowed to have sex with her but am happy with how things are going.
     
  19. keephimcaged
    Offline

    keephimcaged
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    790
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #44 keephimcaged, Mar 30, 2016
    Okay, well that's good but the idea of denial is you don't always get to have sex or even released... so let's hope it feels less 'weird' soon.
     
  20. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #45 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    She has said that she doesn't like the idea of denying me for long. Hopefully she will try it one day to see if my attitude etc changes for the better.
    At the minute she says she just wants to take things slowly. Try different things and to see which way of doing chastity works best for her.
     
  21. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #46 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    @keephimcaged
    How often would you recommend my wife either let me have a full orgasm or unlock me for to tease and deny or ruin the orgasm?
    Any advice is greatly appreciated. She's not ready yet to join here but can read my posts
     
  22. keephimcaged
    Offline

    keephimcaged
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    790
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #47 keephimcaged, Mar 30, 2016
    Well for us I tease him most days. So that'll involve his cage coming off (if it wasn't already), being edged, cage back on. Right now I'm letting him cum about once a week, with maybe a ruin during the week too, but I think I may try an orgasm every two weeks soon and see how that works for us. But I like to keep it a bit random so he doesn't get bored.
     
    slave_m likes this.
  23. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #48 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    Thank you for the reply. That sounds perfect to me but I'll let her read it and then she can decide.
    She doesn't want it to feel like a chore and wants it to progress so that it is just a normal part of our lives.
    I am not into total denial and wanted chastity for the intamacy between us. It does bring us closer
     
  24. keephimcaged
    Offline

    keephimcaged
    Verified Female

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2016
    Messages:
    309
    Likes Received:
    790
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #49 keephimcaged, Mar 30, 2016
    Okay, I'm glad it helps. The other thing that I use to help it not be a chore is a coin game where every orgasm I get earns him a coin toss. I adapted someone else's idea in this blog post (warning, their original post had explicit pictures in it, sorry if that's a problem):
    http://keephimcaged.tumblr.com/post/140805039725/onlyshecums-coin-flip-rules-for-my-husband-for

    The main thing is it takes the stress off me when I don't want to have to decide what to do, so it's a great default fallback.

    As I said before, if she wants to chat or start a conversation on here she'd be more than welcome.

    Jane xxx
     
  25. stonie110
    Offline

    stonie110 Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2015
    Messages:
    98
    Likes Received:
    94
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    nottinghamshire
    Local Time:
    6:00 PM
    #50 stonie110, Mar 30, 2016
    Thanks again.
    Although I'm not wanting long periods of lock up. If that what she decides she wants to do then i will do it for her.
    The thing that puts me off of long lock ups is if she never let me out for tease and denial or ruined orgasms.
    I'll ask her to join again.
     
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 6
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Accept Learn More...
    Dismiss Notice