beginning the journey with my wife

I remember when my Mistress teased and denied me the first time. She found she likes it a lot. Took to it like a duck to water.
She let me have my (her way) with her, made her cum several times, then she started touching my caged straining penis. At one point she was dabbing at it with tongue, I was so turned on I was shaking. She talked me down and it was very obvious I was not getting let out. It was an amazing sexual high.

 

Hi,
I know exactly what you are going through. At the beginning I had very strong views around chastity, tease and denial etc. Before I mentioned this to my wife, she had no idea what this was and the possibilities. Giving her loads of stuff to read did clearly not work. The biggest tease you will have now is denial, and the pace will slowly build up. This is the hardest part of your training. But I can tell you, things will change and she will appreciate more the power she has while having you locked. What helped for me, was making sure I did as many chores and things for her as I could while only giving her sexual pleasure when she wanted. And off course communication, explaining what I like and what could be done, while leaving her to implement. After 2 years, I still feel we have a long way to go, but we have had so much fun and made good progress. So patience my friend and good luck.

 

Congratulations on your new life. Baby steps are what is needed on her part. It is much easier for a new keyholder to process what she wants to do without being overwhelmed by her partner. It may be better for her to explore the new world you have brought her into on her own without your input. One of the ways she may be able to give you instructions is via www.locks.club. We use this site and can be a starting point. If she is not a member here, then she should be if for nothing else then to see what others are doing. The most important thing for you to remember it is all about her. In order for her to get to that point, you should slow down, and make it all about her. By doing that you will see her change and grow. By this I mean, give her a glass of wine (if she likes it) and you cook dinner and do the dishes. Let her relax and show her every day you are putting her first. It is not always about sex for keyholders, it is also about the other attention you give them. You decided it start with chastity, and that means no cumming for you until she is ready so relax and enjoy the ride. I personally am not a mean keyholder, but did have guilty feelings the first few times I came and he was still locked, but that has changed and I don't feel guilty anymore.

 

We have intercourse quite often. I just don't allow him to cum. He is under strict instructions to tell me if he is close, and we stop until he is ready again. This allows me to control his orgasims. If you tell her to stop when you are close, then give her some oral satisfaction before intercourse again it will show her various ways she can enjoy it. Also, do you a open all doors for her, again this puts her first. Be romantic at all times, holding hands, put candles on the table, soft music etc. All of the little things can lead up to sex, without putting pressure on her to do anything.

 

Patience. At least you are starting. Remember she isn't locked up. Part of being locked is denying cumming for you. That is happening. Now continue.to give her the attention she deserves, and when you have sex again ask permission to cum before you do. You might be surprised by her answer.

 

That's what it. Is all about. I didn't have much confidence at first, but mine is grown also. My Darling is happier when he has not cum. We are shooting for 3 weeks this time. His longest is 14 days

 

Stonie. Yours is a good start and what chat408 said is really great advice I took far too long to learn that the romance is everything. Like you I find being caged is easier than just being denied but sometimes Miss prefers it. I would just suggest that gentle seduction works really well for me whether caged or not Miss knows that now I have no expectations it is about her pleasure and usually that is a very gentle cuddle which depending on her reactions may or may not develop further.
Take it slow and talk a lot as that helps just do not be a chastity pest that really does not seem to help anyone.
All the best in your adventure.

 

That is perfect and so romantic. Not everyone is in long term, my darling has only gone at the most 14 days, we are shooting for 21 days, but have not made it yet. The best thing to remember is to do what she wants, and never masterbate even if you are not locked. All of your ejaculations belong to her.

 

We play with chastity but it could really be called foreplay.
My wife often tells me that she might make me get out of her any moment. She does this because she knows it thrills me to hear it.
Ss

 

@stonie110
If I'm reading your post right you said She wanted to continue, but without the device. Were i you I would definitely consider it still "Game on". Mistress Wolf like it without the cage also, and i still consider myself in Chastity, it's just verbal/honor instead of locked up. Being locked is a privilege/punishment for me, so when i am locked it means so much more. Then again i always have at least one cock-ring on right at the glans (just behind the head) as a reminder of Her ownership..... Maybe something to consider?

Keep doing what you were doing, treat Her like the Mistress She is, and never forget your commitment to Her.

Caged

 

Maybe you could put yourself back in chastity each morning telling her this way you know that you will stay true and that you will remove it each night before bed. Tell here that you will leave the key somewhere that she can see it and then if she wants the control back she can then just put the key away. No further words will be needed.

 

I am sure she has her reasons. Maybe you should broach the subject to find out way she doesn't want you in the cage. I have found that honest conversations happen best whenever chastity is involved. She may not like the looks of it, or feel it hinders her in some way. I have had to adapt my play whenever my Darling is locked and it did take some adjustments on my part. Since I can no longer grab his hard penis, I adjusted by squeezing his butt or balls more than I used to. I do like Caged Wolf's suggestion regarding the gland ring. Although some women do not like the look of a hard penis, some of us do

 

You know her best, but I would encourage you to continue to do all of the things she likes whether you are caged or not. Continue refraining from masturbation. It does take some of us females longer to process the idea of chastity. The devise is just a devise, or a physical item that seems to excite men when it is on. It should never be about the device, but instead about controlling yourself. We are members of a website called www.locks.club. This site allows me to give him missions to complete, and he is rewarded points he can redeem as rewards. It was a way I used to help process what he wants.

 

Can you explain exactly what all these things are that she has to remember?

 

I understand your frustration, I have gone through this roller coaster myself over the last year and although your reaction is quite natural it wont help.

After a similar start to yourself my wife said that the she didn't like me wearing the cage and I got all pissed off and threw my toys out of the pram. I left it for a few months and then broached the subject again. In a frank discussion she explained that I was asking too much too soon from her - I think that as you are asking for 100% effort from her this is definitely too much too soon. Forget the list of chores and your kinky requests focus on her needs and explain to her why wearing a cage will help.

This is why I said I wanted to wear the cage:

1. To discourage me from masturbation
2. As a constant reminder that her needs come first
3. To fulfil my bondage kink

I also drafted a contract, which didn't go down that well apart from her zeroing in on the one golden rule - 'she makes all the rules' and she agreed to try it again on that basis.

Since then we have had a few successful periods of lock up, with the honour system inbetween times. She decides when we play, when I get out, and when I cum. I am currently approaching a month being locked and 6 weeks since my last orgasm.

Its not perfect to be honest as her sex drive isn't that high and she tends to slip into ignore mode quite easily, but I think she is slowly beginning to enjoy being in charge and realise that its not too much effort on her part me being caged. The whole experience has brought us closer together, helped us be open about our desires and has taught me to be patient and accept not topping from the bottom.

Yes I would love to be tied to the bed and be edged and eat her pussy daily, but I guess thats the frustration of being in chastity.