Are there disadvantages/cons to chastity

I wear swim briefs, well I did but not been since locked up trying to guage how to pull it off without it being obvious :/

 

Learning to cope better with that. Sometimes she just needs space.

 

Oh yeah bike rides in the winter...freezing balls trying to retract for warmth: oh boy, that hurts bad.

 

Having to wear a cage around my little clit and balls reminds me that i'd rather be flat and smooth there. Without all the irritation and discomfort. Being caged does fit my submissive and sissy desires but not in the complete way i dream of.

 

So true, but I am sure its a macho cock selfishness that negates/works against your marriage vows...
Yes their cocks are free to roam and take enjoyment as they see fit...but not mine. I AM ALSO GUILTY.

 

Sometimes women aren't thinking about sex.

As a man, while I know this to be true, it still seems impossible to comprehend.

Seriously, what else is there worth thinking about?!?

 

It definitely has some distinct advantages for the key-holder. My wife was tired and not feeling that great yesterday, so I worked from morning to late night doing everything that could possibly be done around the house and so on. That's not the former me. So things have changed, in my brain. And it does benefit her.

But the real question, as the one held, is whether I would go back. No. Hell, no. No fucking way. Never.

I can still miss the daily fucking, and the once or twice daily masturbation, though. So I know what I'm missing, and I do miss it, but not enough to switch back.

 

The good definitely outweights the bad.

My wife keeps me locked up, she tells me when to take the cage off and put it back on. She is in control of the key. But we've talked about it over the years and if I ever wanted to stop, she'd by okay with that and would willingly give up the key. She's said multiple times "I'm ultimately doing this because you like it", even though she enjoys it too and enjoys having that power.

What I get out of being locked up is ... complex? I've apparently always enjoyed being teased and denied. The feeling of being taken to the edge of orgasm and stopped, multiple times. Pre-chastity we played bondage games where she'd tie me up and tease me and I'd love those to go on for hours and hours, to the point of desperation. Now, that same thing has been taken a step further where we go days and days and weeks and weeks of being teased (off and on). And I love that.

We're also intimate more often than we were pre-chastity. It comes from a place where my wife can use me to get off ... and not feel like she has to reciprocate. She also doesn't really need to *do* much, except lie there and enjoy the orgasms. Which I'm pretty sure she loves. But I quite like that we have more sex than we used to, more frequently.

The biggest thing I can suggest is to communicate. Talk it over before, during, and after. If you're going lifestyle, this could be a years-long thing so figure out what both like and both want out of it.

 

Not that I can think of!

 

So much this!

 

I'm exceptionally sensitive when I get unlocked after a week or two, meaning I can get hard, and I can play, but have no ability to withhold a rapid O. My Wife likes it, which is a blessing because it really got me depressed and feeling less than a man for a good while. She totally gets off on making me cum in extremely short periods of time, and makes it as uncomfortable as possible for me.

It does make certain public bathroom situations uncomfortable. Practically speaking, I can't pee standing up. I can, but there's always significant & elevated, risk of splash involved....

My Wife is strict about chastity and I am pierced. Cheating or pulling out is not an option for me. Yes there are days when I just really, really, want or need a release...and I just gotta deal because she isn't going to unlock me.

That last thing is a big one. If your wife is Dominant, and she chooses to control you and influence you with chastity as mine does...you are honestly pretty fucked. I know she does it, and I accept it, but I'm in a vanishingly small group of men who accept this type of manipulation. Most guys would hate it once the 'fun' wore off. In the vanilla world some would call it abuse. The reality of it is, I could insist and she would take it off, but our relationship of Domme and sub would be utterly changed forever and I would be completely shattered about that.

 

If the question is what are some of the negative outcomes that may arise, I usually refer to them as unexpected changes.

1. More serious about this. I thought it would be a fun two weeks, then once the climax arrived I would take awhile off until next time. She didn’t want anything to do with taking breaks, she was in control or she didn’t want to play. She was upset when she learned that I could slip out the back whenever I wanted, I got pierced within days so that wouldn’t happen. Even though the emergency key was tamper proof, she didn’t like the idea that I could unlock any time I wanted. She thought locked is locked. So, to recap, my fun filled, teasing, temporary, fore play fantasy turned a lot more serious.

2. Sexual opportunities missed. Granted she unlocks me any time she pleases, I used to take advantage of those impromptu moments like in the morning, her getting out of the shower, just watching tv etc. She could unlock me, but taking off the cage removes all the spontaneity from casual touch from happening.

3. Her mindset changes. It’s not really a con, just different, but after a few years, she really felt the dominant side of her come out, and certain activities are not on the menu anymore, and certain activities are a side note. She used to go down on me, even said it was fun because I was small and could easily fit it all in without being uncomfortable. She has said since, that it doesn’t feel right being dominant and doing that. She also has also become quite guilt free for ever letting me cum unless it’s in her interest. I don’t want her to have sex if she doesn’t want to, but didn’t realize how little she actually wants me inside her.

4. Most of the cage wearing, device problems, and hygiene issues have already been mentioned. Being a bit quick on the draw has also been my reality since locking up. Before I could go quite awhile, at least until she either came or had enough of me humping away. Now I last maybe a minute on a good day, but most of the time I’m done well before 30 seconds. PIV isn’t my strong suit anyway so having less of it isn’t a bad thing for her, but it seems like my fun is over so fast.

5. Sometimes you just don’t want to play. Long term chastity isn’t always going to be a raging sex marathon of kinky fun. Sometimes you’re sick, sometimes she is sick, sometimes a family crisis happens, sometimes she is stressed out, sometimes one of you might be mad, sometimes it just never seems like a good time to play, and sometimes you just don’t feel the need, desire, or reason force your dick to be locked up. You have to let it all go and accept that you no longer own that thing.

good luck

 

That's a very real danger!

 

That’s why I don’t really call the cons, so it’s not really a danger, just a possibility. I’m happy how things turned out, even if it isn’t what I expected.

 

@Vivandis thanks for a very good question that we avoid all too often on CM and many of these sites. Some really good stuff here, and I can say the mental stress is the worst for me, but also the main source of fun. It still blows me away how much power she has over my big head just by controlling my little head. I used to joke about it all the time but always felt like I was immune to such things. That of course, was back when I was free to take care of myself at will and had no clue how powerful that control really can be. But when I am under her spell it is also a very special place indeed.

Note that most of us are telling you that the good far outweighs the bad (I am for sure), so come on in, the water is fine! Seriously, dealing with some of the unexpected problems, otherwise known as "be careful what you wish for" is a bit fun in its own perverse way. We might not be doing you a service by filling your head with hundreds of obstacles. And FOR SURE do NOT try to impose rules on your keyholder based on what you read here. I think you have to trust that the process works when she is truly empowered and enjoy the ride.