Any other KH out there who initiated chastity?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2020.

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  1. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    It only takes a few minutes of reading through CM that for the majority of guys who are locked it was initiated by the men. I'm curious if there are other KHs out there who initiated the chastity and FLR aspects of your relationship? To those who are not familiar with me and @Thatguyontheinternet, we are a real couple who have been practicing chastity on and off for the last 5 years. The last two have been "off" since we had our first child. but he is now locked back up for the last month. We started out by seeing a cage in the local adult superstore and it intrigued me/us, so we decided to buy one and try it and out the rest is history. Of course he was reluctant to try it in the beginning since our relationship started out with him as the Dom and me as the sub, but it turns out that male chastity and FLR fit us quite nicely. He has grown to really appreciate what chastity does for us, but he has never enjoyed or craved the cage itself. As time goes by, the longer he is locked and the more he is teased, the more obedient, doting and submissive he is, just as you would expect anyone who is locked it be.
     
  2. spider203
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    spider203 Active member

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    I always had the same question, I believe that wife’s and and girlfriends have the same fantasies and that is to be treated like a true queen as is the male fantasy to treat her like a queen for the rest of there lives,
    why is it only men bring up the subject of male chastity to there better half ?,
     
  3. Rodeo cowboy
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    Rodeo cowboy Active member

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    Ma’am,

    I believe Ms Abstraction started a query in the Female keyholders forum recently asking approximately the same question.
     
  4. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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  5. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Yes. It started out with her practicing tease and denial. Chastity became an extension to that. She likes the control and desperation. What she nor I did not expect, was the submissiveness that emerged. Now we are both trying to figure out what to do with that...
     
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  6. madams-sissysub
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    It was my madam that discovered Male chastity and was insistent that it should become 24/7.
    I’ve posted about it before, but what happened was one day about 2 months into our bdsm relationship, when I was at work madam was amusing her self watching some femdom Porn and one clip had a Male Slave in chastity. When I got home madam showed me the clip and told me she wanted me to wear a cage,
    I said i would, but I wouldn’t know where to get one from! Madam clicked the mouse on the pc and the cb website popped up! And I had ordered our first cage before the end of the day.
     
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  7. Gerrit
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    Gerrit Member

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    what an interesting subject.... I wish my wife does take control...I adore her.
     
  8. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    My GF started me on this 16 mos ago. Aftet a 2.5 year buildup and 6 yrs total together. She learned about it from a friend and also a pro domme years ago but never thought it would work on me (we are both still amazed at how it has). All this from a woman that (normally) has the patience of a fruit fly!

    "It will be fun" she said...
     
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  9. Gerrit
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    Gerrit Member

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    How often do you get released? Is it like for weekends? or is it worse? and do you love it? like a play? or is it a bit much..
     
  10. Jail Bird
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    So true! I do and function much better locked up. We live in a WLM and I'm a submissive. Being locked up works perfect for us. She gets what ever she wants when ever she wants and I get controlled releases when she says and how she says.
    We're so happy!
     
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  11. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active member

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    my relationship started with me thinking i wanted to be a bottom but i constantly topped from there. my husband a truly dominant man, pointed out that so long as we were in a ssc relationship it will only ever be make believe. when you can no longer say no or the only consideration is that of the top is when it gets real. i thought long and hard. after a year or so i decided there is no way i could be a bottom under those rules but i could be and wanted to be top under those rules. i wanted it real, very real. i found a lifestyle that gave me all that and more. i jumped at the chance to be a ma'at in a ncc relationship. i saw chastity as a tool of power and control within this chosen lifestyle. no different than hormones, corsets, pa piercing, branding, cuffs, hoods and gags i have never thought of chastity as an end goal. it is one of many tools that make it real for all concerned.
    for me chastity devices are not about denial. they are about sex when, where and how i want it. chastity would be of no use if he wanted to be locked. i need him to want it off. i change up devices daily so they always feel uncomfortable. he gladly surrenders to be chained up so he can get the cage off.
    i love my puck as i do my sister ma'ats and i would want no harm to come to any of them. still i love the power and control of sexually owning my puck for real. we left make believe so very long ago.
    i am thankful that my husband suggested the bottom in a ncc relationship for me. it made me realize i was dominant all along and when faced with permanently being on the bottom it was the catalyst that gave me the clarity to properly assume my true self. i have never looked back nor have i regretted a single day.



    .
     
  12. cogman
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    I did meet Mistress on the basis of a chastity based relationship does that count?

    Its a shame her interest in it has waned of late :(
     
  13. Headtrip
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    It very quickly went from a game to now a 7,8 on the matrix. It IS worse yet I DO love it. Still a headtrip. Released? Bound and teased weekly if I earned it. The only times I get an O is when I stop expecting it. 60th birthday? Nope. 2 weeks later late on a worknight? Perhaps. Twice since Feb.

    My one advantage is that I am also very happy free, so she can't hang "that" over my head. But once locked I change and she plays me like a fiddle. Like being 17 all over again (without the zits). She could write a book...
     
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  14. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    #14 LockitMan, Jul 28, 2020
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2020

    Wow what a happy story! Im so glad for you both. I really think theres something innate in men especially but women too that is tailored to fit together this way.

    I'm convinced that if there was a good enough advertising campaign - both overt and covert - a majority of men would accept and grow to love the FLR/chaste lifestyle within a few years. Maybe not a big majority, but a majority. And from there it would grow over time to be just the classy modern thing to do.

    I read the other day that there were I think 78 women billionaires in the world. If just one were to take an interest...

    Sorry to hijack your thread Ma'am, I just love hearing about women discovering this phenomenon.

    .
     
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  15. LockitMan
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    LockitMan Lifestyle service submissive/slave/sissy maid

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    Join Fetlife and read. Lots of ideas in those pages.
     
  16. boytoy12
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    Though chastity was something I brought up initially in our marriage. But I am sure if I ask now to opt out of it. She would insist we continue using the device and it will become KH initiated.
     
  17. Gerrit
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    Do you sometimes have sex together? is that equal, or what is it like for you and her? and locked up afterwards? do you sometimes, while still locked up, have to lick her?
     
  18. Rybo
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    I think the fact that most women don’t bring up chastity is evidence that most women aren’t naturally dominant or more specifically aren’t nearly as focused on power exchange, real life control or even FLR fantasy’s as men are. I think women more get into chastity and FLR when it’s either being pushed by the husband who shows a strong interest or simply because it’s convenient for some reason or another. Why women aren’t into it I don’t know.....think about it, how many “normal” looking women not covered in tattoos, emotionally damaged, trying to make money by it, being pushed by their husband/boyfriend or looking like they came out of a vampire movie have you ever seen that genuinely wanted a lifestyle of flr, power exchange or even just to be dominant. I would venture to guess very very very few. I almost believe that doesn’t exists without some form of pressure that’s been placed on them or baggage that life has thrown at them that makes being in control seem safe and practical. In my opinion women are more practical minded then men, they don’t dream as big or fantasize as much as men. When men will think up elaborate systems of control and slavery women think how can I get more return for less effort. I don’t think they’re driven by desire nearly as much as men are and even if they see that men want to be betrayed by that desire and have it used against them, women for the most part aren’t interested.
     
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  19. MeatLocker
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    MeatLocker Owned & Owner

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    Male switch, keyholder to many and self locked until I introduced my fiancé to chastity. Now she happily holds my keys and enjoys the many benefits of having a locked lover.

    But I’m not sure this is the kind of reply you’re looking for. ;)
     
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  20. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    @Rybo my GF has none of those characteristics yet was keenly focused on chastity. It was a function of another woman walking her thru the cost/benefits and she was hooked. I agree men may fantasize (did I say masturbate?) more, but I am positive many smart vanilla women could be sold on starting chastity if a GF brought it to them.

    @Gerrit yes to all of above, just at her choice and decidedly tipped in her favor (well over 100:1). Living a fantasy I never had.
     
  21. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Active member

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    Pardon my ignorance, but what is ma'at and ncc? Google gives me only links to Egyptian religion...
     
  22. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    Thank you. I was going to respond today to ask the same thing. I get Ma’at, but couldn’t find the acronym for NCC - I assume it’s along the lines of non-consensual.
     
  23. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Active member

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    Or this...being enslaved by a real estate development cult run by godesses ;)
     

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  24. RC-Oz
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    My wife saw the cage in an adult shop and just brought it home and announced we were trying it.
    She never intended it to be long term - it was just meant to be a toy - but she liked the result and before you know it I have 3 cages and another one on the way, she uses a strapon on me, I only wear panties and more often than not a bra. I am 100% her bitch. I have no idea where that side of her was hiding, but it has been an exciting ride.
     
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  25. Gerrit
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    Wow, what a great story to read, thank you. It used to be a vanilla wife ? and now, does she sometimes use a whip?
     
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