An Incongruent Epiphany (this may get me banned)

You are a lost penguin indeed. Hopefully, you'll get some experience and figure out what to do.

 

That's all you take from my posts then? That you're not complaining?

I guess that's where the disconnect is. I was talking about how I do respect men, etc. And you just keep going on about mistresses here not respecting men.

But I am done with you now as it's clearly pointless to engage with you.

 

Have you ever been to a sports event?

 

I'm going to point out the obvious but I think it should be pointed out.

Not ALL men are on this site. Neither are ALL women. The people who come here share an interest in a particular sexual interaction. This interaction requires submission on the part of the man and dominance on behalf of the woman. The degree of submission varies from mild to complete. As does the degree of dominance.

Hope this makes an obvious thing clear.

 

At the event, the fans cheer for their home team and boo the opposition. They whoop it up. Sometimes they yell at the officials. Then they go home and have a beer and goodnaturedly tease their friends who were cheering for the other team.

Meanwhile after the game the players may go out to dinner with their friends on the other team, even though they were trying as hard as they could to beat them on the field.

What I'm trying to say is that the dominant women and submissive men on this site are for the most part on the same team, trying to make this stuff work in a world that is not terribly supportive of kink.

And in the larger sense, dominant women and submissive men are playing in the same league as dominant men and submissive women, even though they may be on different teams.

So we all want you to find your happy place! It might be here, it might be somewhere else, but you are playing in the same league as well.

 

I don't know because I'm not you. Some men want submissiveness to be in some areas of their lives and to a lesser degree; some want to be called derogatory names; some want to be punished regularly. And then people's preferences change - this is why it's a 'dynamic' rather than a rigid set of never-changing parameters. It's fluid and it may change with time or with partner(s).

So, you shouldn't assume that what's right for you is the only right way or a wrong way - it's just YOUR way. Just like my way is neither right nor wrong - it's MINE. So it's unrealistic to expect that everyone will agree with your way or your opinion of their way.

To be a 'good' submissive you should be in harmony with yourself and your Domme. And there's plenty of advice on this forum about how people achieve this harmony. You're not obliged to do things in any particular prescribed way - you need to find your own.

 

One of the reasons why this site was originally called chastity mansion, was because of the many rooms. Chastity is such a broad interest it’s almost impossible for everyone to have the same dynamics, or the kinks that go with them.

Some are part timers, some are long term wearers, some incorporate FLR, some just use it as a tool to curb self pleasure, some life in a service style relationship, some use punishment, some are into feminization, some are into being slaves, some use it like fore play until it’s time to come off, some barely tolerate it , and some don’t even wear a cage. Some have male kh’s, some are even female. So to say their are some that have a different view of chastity, men, or how to treat men, is an understatement.

The trick here, is to try to interact with those here with respect, and acknowledge that their way may not be your way, and that’s ok. I myself get along fairly well with the couples here, or those that are part of a couple. It’s a common thread that we share and I am also always interested in how another couple have followed a path this direction. To those that self lock or have online kh’s, I of course am friendly towards them, but have nothing in common so tend not to connect often.

I suggest you find someone with similar interests, viewpoints, and make friends and share with them. This mansion has a lot of rooms, look around and you might find a friend.

Good luck

 

That's a great image and thought! If you put forth those kind of positive visions of yourself and what you want, you will attract the kind of people who want what you want.

And besides, I'm a real fan of penguins.

 

That’s not cricket your talking about...

 

Yet again, your posts shine through with positivity. Why am I not surprised?

I offer to echo those who encouraged you to dig deeper, OP. (That's not an endorsement to pester folks or engage in a frenzy, btw.)

There are no 'standard' chastity or power exchange experiences. Each Keyholder is different, as is each locked one. I assure you, fighting against uncomfortable stereotypes on the internet will likely leave you feeling exhausted and unfulfilled. My advice would be: try to learn from them, figure out what works for you, and leave the rest behind.

Pigeonholing anyone based on someone else's ideas of an identity robs your own mind of creative potential...