An Incongruent Epiphany (this may get me banned)

We actually don't understand what your observation or complaint is.

Here are my observations

1. This is a generally well-mannered site.
2. Women are respected, including not being pestered.
3. Men are respected, including not being demeaned for being submissives.

Now, I don't see anything incongruent about this site or the people on it. The owner runs a good site, without being heavy-handed.

 

This is literally most straight malesubs holy grail! Most of us want - at least for a few hours - to be treated in a "beastly" way. And most of us want to be used and exploited - within limits - in the long term. That's the point.

Also - I've just realised - most of us on this site don't want to be "cosplayers", nor do we want keyholding and domination as a service to us. We want to do it for real.

 

Right.

I don't get why some men come in here to complain about 'the women' or 'the mistresses' of this site, writing about them as if they are all the same person and all do the same things.
I've seen many a rant about how all dominant women are bad on here and how awful they treat their subs, usually coming from men without a mistress and who have not been on this site for long.

Because if they would have been here for long they would have seen there is quite some diversity in how male subs are treated and how mistresses behave on this site. These kind of posts tend to annoy me, as I have a very loving relationship with my sub which in many other's eyes might border on a vanilla relationship and I have a respectful approach for any member of this site as I respect men in general. Not everyone here shares the same ideas.

All I can conclude is that such men come here to vent their frustrations and not actually look at the content of this website.

 

Why? Tigers can be respectful too (says the man with the caged tiger avatar).

You've pretty much missed the point completely. The concept of a D/s relationship--no matter which gender leads it--is a structured hierarchy that suits all parties involved. The key concept is consent.

So to rewrite your sentence: "Submissive men consent to serve dominant women because it satisfies both sides."

 

I think you are wrong.

I've chatted with most of the active female members Ive seen here in messenger and have found those conversations to be pleasant and informative.
Some are now quite good friends.
And one Mistress from here has taken me on, in that she is monitoring and supervising my chastity.
Perhaps it's to do with how you approach them and your expectations?.

 

You came in with a conclusion, that makes it quite useless to ask for an opinion,having your mind already made up. That makes the world a sadder place too.

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

 

As far as I know, most men have chosen to be in chastity. They have chosen to serve (a) woman. There are different flavours of FLR, some like it strict and some like it lovely (and probably some like it both ways).

The key part is that we are here voluntarily. Nobody forces you to serve and be chaste.

 

@tristenfifty
We share our perspectives on this site.
You might want to consider lurking until you have a handle on the culture herein.
I am sorry that your wife is ill and your sexual relationship is off.
The people posting to this site are tolerant, not to a point, but to a fault as evidenced by the fact that you have not been shunned.
Not only tolerant, but forgiving and kind are these folks. Everyone here has at one time or more made a poor first impression. Sometimes it is due to not understanding the company you are in. Sometimes it is because of background pain or confusion.
Best of luck to you!
Ss

 

So, I've noticed some things about these "memes":

1. generally, the users who create them are anonymous - which means we don't know their gender
   
   
2. a lot of submissive people, though not all of them, have a humiliation fetish
   
   
3. these memes feed into a humiliation fetish for some people
   
   
4. when these memes are posted by dominant women, I think it's usually a nod to the humiliation fetish or, more lightly, a sort of general role-play fantasy
   
   
5. assuming the gender of the person who made these memes, or that the people posting them are taking them absolutely seriously, is a bit of a stretch. Sometimes people post them for tantalization, or advertise the type of role-play they do, or just because they think a certain one is clever
   
   
6. while there may be people who take these memes seriously, these are people who can be avoided

I think that you're taking the user-created images a little too seriously, and definitely a little too literally. But, by all means, if you see someone who has those loaded on their profile and it disturbs you, you may want to see if you can block that person from ever contacting you.

Of course, if you've permanently flounced from the forum, that would also keep them from contacting you.

 

Personally I believe in gender equality. I don’t believe both sexes are as good at everything, I think both have strengths and weaknesses. But a strong team has diversity.
That said, I’m defiantly happy to ‘play’ dominant or submissive. I’m not into humiliation but I understand a lot of male submissive are and correspondingly there is lots of it on this site. Dare I say that there are also elements of general ‘female superiority’... This is bound to happen given the purpose of the site. Do they sometime cross the line, in my opinion, between ‘play’ and genuinely held opinion? In my opinion, possibly... but so often does chastity play and D/s relationships.
Sometime this site gets political, I’ve got some quite strongly held views here but don’t wish to be drawn into an argument. In polite company, never discuss religion, politics or.... oh wait a
moment... sex

 

Agreed.

 

Well, I guess you never read my posts then. But I thought so as you keep ignoring them.

You found what you apparently want to find.

 

> I questioned why is it ok for a female to degrade a male, but a male degrading a female bad.

Because it is a femdom site--and I'm fine with that. If I want sites where it's ok for males to degrade females but not the reverse, I know where to find them.

 

"I spent all day looking for Red Velvet Cake recipes here and nobody is helping me!'" - "Uh... I'm sorry sir, but this is a suspension repair forum." - "And that's another thing! Why are you being so mean to me?!"

 

But I like my suspension with extra chocolate on top...

 

Then you're in the right place. That's just downright kinky.

 

I've just caught up with the thread you started. From what I can see you think deeply about ethical and moral questions around FLR. If you look around you will find that some threads on this site explore such matters. If you stick around, I have two pieces of advice: 1. make your potentially controversial contributions less literal and more in the allegorical or metaphorical mode, and 2. be ready for a mental contest that takes place on terms you would not choose. It's all part of the fun! Best wishes.

 

Wow - read all this from beginning to end!
And I must admit: I think it was quite brave to post something being oviously THAT unpopular (no matter what it was about).
Tried to think about words like "tolerance" "diversity", "different opinions" or such (as I'm not a native speaker as well) - and it was a tough job to do...
I know, dealing with a very different opinion isn't easy, and an startling amount of people never learned the "how to' s" - but something like: "if you don't agree with us : go elswhere" isn't able to solve any problem at all.
I am on this site - amongst some other reasons - because I believe: we are a strong and very tolerant community - so please let's show that!

 

I still don't see the incongruent message, and I have read all of your posts. You are going to an auto dealer who says "the customer is always right," and you are wondering if the customer is always right, why they don't sell tomato soup, which is what you want.