Am I the only female here who doesn't want to ...

My wife has no interest in any of those things and I don't particularly either. Now, if she was interested in #1, I would give it a try but it isn't something I fantasize about. To each their own though, right? There are some wives that enjoy that stuff but they are probably the minority.

 

I don't really go for those three either, maybe 3 slightly, but I know others do, 2 and 3 especially (not so much 1 though).

 

Thus you are the Domme they need. To set them straight that it isn't about them and their desires. Either that or you aren't the Domme for them and they need to find one that meshes with their fantasy.

 

Rather than asking them an open ended question that opens the door for them to waste your time describing all the things they want to do for you (that don't actually do anything for you), don't give them the opportunity. Just state up front what you need/want and ask if they can satisfy those needs.

We men tend to be very selfish and even when thinking we want to please a woman we usually just project our silly desires or fantasies onto the woman and think she would want the same things. Don't let these guys have an inch of slack to work with, they will take a mile and bore you to death with their fantasies.

 

Ah, the second most common feature of the male personality: ignoring the obvious.

 

My wife is just like you. I find it interesting that so many guys online have been warped by porn that they think women want men to serve them. They think who wouldn't want a slave to abuse and humiliate. I find that somewhat disrespectful to the women they approach because they are assuming that the woman they approach is a certain type. What they really want to do is not to serve the woman, they want the woman to do to them, what they want done to them.

I have had a mistress for about 32 years and none of them even knew what that was when I met them. I prefer good girls who can act bad in bed and then become good in real life.

 

I wouldn't say that the average woman wouldn't enjoy having a man serve her, it's just that most men's ideas of serving a woman are entirely different from a woman's idea of being served.

I know that my wife's idea of me serving her is things like cleaning the house, doing laundry, helping with the kids, listening to her ramble and vent after a long crappy day, etc. 99% of the time nothing sexual is even on her radar.

Even when sex is involved, her idea of being served has more to do with letting her be her. She really enjoys cuddling and kissing, but only occasionally wants an orgasm. I had to learn not to push her for what I wanted (I really enjoy her orgasms) and be happy giving her what she really wants. She also doesn't like it when I get all worked up and start getting aggressive with kissing and touching. She likes things gentle and slower paced. That took some effort on my part to learn to train myself to back off the throttle when I'm feeling excited.

 

Not to butt in, but, I think you are very reasonable. What do you think is the reason so many of those males want the same fetishes?

 

I would add to your list

Doesn't want to have a regiment of other men but is quite content with the man she's got

 

Neither of us is into any of those, and I understand your point. We lock each other and I have not interest in feminizing him - I like a man as a man. Nor do I need to humiliate him for the reverse. We both enjoy being locked up and under the control of each other - plus he has eliminated my ability to walk by keeping me in leg braces, but that's another story.....

 

You are right Mistress Lucy,neither my KHwife, nor I, are interested in the three mentioned activities.
Chastity is in itself very simple,though powerfull,and nothing more than beeing locked and the eventual teasing is needed for it to work it's magic and it becomes natural to serve the KHwife the way she exactly enjoys.

 

Without a doubt Lucy you are absolutely the odd one out. A freak.

 

COMPLETELY agree with Mistress Lucy.

 

Chastity is somewhat tied into an anxiety about male sexuality, and all those fetishes are symptoms.
A male would be willing to exchange a lot to satisfy his current psychological needs.
Im guessing you just don't happen to need the usual offers of marriage/security/money/attention or have any particular sadistic needs of your own?
It isn't that whatever you may want is different or unavailable, you just haven't asked for it.

 

As I am a switch, when I am in that submissive mind set, chastity for me is for tease and denial and for hard focus on the woman in all ways. It would be more for enhancement, in reality most women would prefer to have to not use the device.

 

This is the downfall of CM. I really really wish that there was a separate section just for the females. I would love to show the wife and ask her to join, but she will be disgusted by many, I mean many, of the posts.

While I would love her to take me and humiliate me while doing it (no sissifying), she in no way would want to, at least initially.

God I wish there was a spot for her here...

 

I'm in agreement with you. It's harder than it sounds. You almost need a completely separate blog, but then there likely would not be enough activity to support it. O well, life goes on...

 

My kh has experimented with some of those aspects but as we have evolved, not something she particularly gets turned on by.

She's tried pegging me a few times...just not her cup of tea. She could if she wanted to, but she doesn't, so she must not like it. I really don't know how I feel about it. It's not something I do on my own, and not something that gives me much pleasure...but it is a gesture of submission that is powerful, to be taken when, and how long she pleases without it being about you. I actually compare it to a woman that gets little to no satisfaction from piv, and taking it until the other is finished. Opening yourself up and being completely vulnerable. Like I said, it's the act itself, I certainly don't ask her, sometimes it's something I don't want to do.

Feminization is something that does not turn her on in the slightest. She's made no bones about it, and whatever maid service I have done was strictly because she enjoys the submissive state that comes with the clothes. Can't be a big shot or a smart ass wearing a dress...just isn't happening. We don't make it a part of our sexual activity, and I would not be very comfortable with that anyway. Although comfort levels for subs are probably supposed to be pushed, but she wouldn't want me to feel icky during sex. I have always been gender fluid in my attire, but kept it to normal clothes and not some lingerie and garters... I call them my comfy clothes...most of which are pretty similar to men's but cut a bit different. So no she doesn't want me to be her lesbian lover...she wants a docile house servant on occasion lol.

Humiliation is a relative term. We call it honesty. She doesn't call my penis worthless or me a loser, she just mentions that it is small and that there are other ways she would rather get pleasure. It's never mean spirited and in all actuality the honesty is the most loving thing she could ever do. It's easy to lie. It placates people, but honesty creates a bond that we are always on the same page, that she can say anything to me without repercussion or judgement.

Anyway, that's our take. She's not into those three things either, but has been known to try them and mold them to her liking.

 

My wife sounds very much like yours. Not much interest in orgasms or sexual activity. Loves to cuddle and kiss though. She’s also not really engaged in my chastity desires. We’ve talked but with a low sex drive she’s pretty disinterested in chastity. Any ideas to get her interested or engaged???

 

I know with polls you have some choices that you can choose. It would be nice to have threads that you could choose -1. Anyone could reply 2. Those listed as males could reply 3. Those listed as females could reply 4. Those listed as other could reply.

 

Well said.

One could safely bet that those who are habitually incapable of acknowledging, accepting, or tolerating (let alone accommodating) the needs or desires of anyone but themselves are also habitually single.