Advice on how to cope with being horny for first time indefinite lock up?

If your wife is in control then earn that release. This is one of the dynamics in the lifestyle that women report noticing - sudden positive attention from partners. Otherwise if she's in control of your key you're just going to have to suffer. Or work extra hard to divert your attention.

Just focus on what positive aspect of your behaviour would want her to grab her keys and unlock you. Massage her. Run her a bath when she's home. Greet her with wine and dinner prepared. Do tasks she might normally do without complaint. You know. Stuff you would do when you first started dating..

 

From my perspective, being perpetually horny is a benefit of being in chastity. It's like a slowly evolving session of foreplay that may last weeks or longer. It certainly is distracting. It's really hard not to constantly think about sex. But it's far more fun than beating off alone once a day.

I find myself gravitating to porn more than normal. I write a lot of erotic fiction.

My suggestion would be to write. Write letters, journal entries, and erotic stories for your wife. Don't expect her to read any of it. Rather than sending the stories and letters to her inbox, I suggest setting up a blog, and collecting everything there. It's better if you have no idea if she is actually reading it (because she probably won't) so make it public and don't use real names. Then once a week, you can send her an email with the link to the blog, and a quick description of each entry that you wrote for her. It can look something like this:

Monday x/x/2020. Letter to you describing how much you are on my mind and how hungry I am for you.

Wednesday x/x/2020. Story about a husband locked in chastity while his wife is on a business trip, and the assignments she gives him to complete.

Then, that's it. Don't expect her to read anything. Don't pressure her to read or respond. Just keep letting her know (once a week) what you have been writing. She might not ever read, or she might consume it all. Don't be bitter if she doesn't read or respond to anything you write. It's written "for her" and she's welcome to read it, but it's really something that is therapy for yourself.

 

Others may try to give you methods to keep it off your mind.
1. Good luck with that!!!
2. Why? Isn’t this part of being locked and losing control?

Embrace it. Feeling horny? Look at some porn. Really horny? Read some erotic stories. Go all in. Don’t try to take away from your forced fore play, add to it. Think on it, let it settle on you like a weighted blanket. Once you actually accept that an orgasm isn’t going to happen, it’s for the best, and you trust her to make best decision on when that will be, it really frees up a lot of worry and unnecessary BS.

So relax, enjoy it instead of stifling it. Own that feeling and revel in it.

 

About 3 weeks ago, my gf said if im good, ill get released after vacation. That was 2 weeks ago. I accept it. Move on. Balls are full. Last month she was at 12 orgasms. Me. Zero. Going on 7 weeks. Im supposed to get released once a month. Didnt happen. I asked for this. So. Accept it and move on.

 

If you've only been locked for a few days, it's barely started.

I don't know its the same for everyone, but the euphoric feelings kicks in about day 5 (and yes, I too would normally cum every day, often twice). And for me it seems to step up even further after about 11 days. I'm caged now, day 13 and sex is constantly on my mind. I'm tingling constantly and my nipples are hyper sensitive.

So yes, a few days is nothing, and what you are experiencing will intensify,. If you can handle the sexual tension, then its just out of this world. But of course, being able to handle it is the key question. However, whether or not it is just an intolerable frustration, or a constant sexual high, depends at least in part on how it is managed, these being two sides of the same coin. The key is to play on tease and denial, not indifference.

Tease and denial is not sexual indifference. If your wife is not invoIved day-to-day in feeding your arousal, then that can lead to bad frustration (and even anger) rather than the euphoric high. Please read this article, it explains it all. And more importantly, get your wife to read it: https://evolvingyourman.com/2019/03/07/teasing-2/

You may also be able to feed it yourself,perhaps alongside your wife's teasing. Many of us find we spend a lot more time watching porn when caged, Or engaged in nipple play. Or on here.

The best thing of all is pleasuring your wife when caged with no thought to being uncaged yourself. The first time we did this, my head afterwards was about to explode, or so it seemed. Like everything was greyed out, totally consumed by it. I had to hold my head in my hands afterwards, breathe slowly and bring myself down. I went to sleep that night so aroused I could barely sleep. But the achievement of getting through it without unlocking pays dividends. It can be *so* intense and makes normal sex seem almost boring.

Chastity is about the recognition that once you've cum, the fun is over, the feelings subside. So why cum at all?

Its also about training yourself to aim for the most heightened experience, not going for the immediate gratification (are you a one marshmallow person, or a two marshmallow person?), Are you self-controlled in general? Or if not, do you think you can become so?

Similar to tantric sex, its about longer-term aims with the reward of a more intense experience.

But it is something that maybe you have to work at. The cage is just a tool to help you achieve it, its not sufficient on its own.

If you can achieve it, you'll love it and maybe as so many here do, find it utterly addictive.

All I can say, is that its well worth it.

But yes, do read this: And get your wife to read it too: https://evolvingyourman.com/2019/03/07/teasing-2/

 

Oh, and in addition to my advice above. I would also say this. Perhaps starting off with an indefinite lock up period is NOT a good idea if you are still leaning to deal with the frustrations.

Begin with a set period, not too long, to see if you can endure it. Maybe just 24 hours to start. By having an end point in mind, knowing that you will be unlocked then can help you ensure any frustrations in the meantime.

Then take a rest of maybe a week or more. Then try again. but increasing it, to maybe 3 days.

If you succeed, then try 7 days. Then 10 days. Then 14 days.

You'll probably experience things intensifying along the way, but roll with it, with that end date in mind each time.

If you can eventually get to 14 days, you'll probably have cracked it and will be getting the full 24/7 fully euphoric feeling..

 

What's helps me is remembering that "I will eventually cum".

It took about 2-3 denial sessions before it clicked and I was able to fully let go and give myself over - anxiety free.

Relax. Keep reminding yourself that you will eventually cum. And know it's going to blow your f*cking mind.

 

Without debating the merits of the lifestyle, perhaps she could up her game a bit. I always see a common thread that the guy has a high libido like that is a bad thing and needs to be caged. I never see anything on this or other sites about women actively wanting to up their game. Some would say that giving the women control results in more sex. Ok. Maybe. Or perhaps the man has just really lowered his expectations.

Here is another thought, if you are happy with the feelings you get being locked then follow the advice of the other experienced members since they have been where you are currently . If your not happy but your wife isn't inclined to listen to you, then you can play a headspace game with yourself. Just tell yourself and re enforce it with positive afermations that sex is off the table and that in fact you are not even interested in sex and its distractions. Perhaps there is something you have always wanted to do and now you will have the energy and focus to act on it rather then wasting time on sex and its distractions( especially since it is of minimal interest to your wife and she won't be missing or losing anything). Some members said it takes a couple of weeks to get to the "feeling". I would say the same is true to put the feelings out of your head and use your energy for productive outlets. Try it both ways and see what feels better for you. Don't let her enter into the equation until you determine what feels right. You have to be happy within your self before you can help others.

 

That's the whole point I think. You don't. You desperately want release.

 

Get a hobby and ask your wife if there are any things she wants you to do on your spare time. After a while you will stop caring... or if you wanted to be "bad" you could give yourself an orgasm while in the device... I mean this lifestyle isn't for everyone. I would imagine you both gave being "locked up" a nice talk & both agreed to try it.

 

I agree with king hippo, take up a hobby to distract yourself, and have a talk with your KH, Is it just your penis that is off limits, or are you allowed other forms of stimulation?

 

That's what is addressed in the article whose link I gave you above,

If she had low libido, then she will not be inclined to tease because usually that would lead to you wanting to initiate sex when maybe she does not want it. That's the value of the cage; it takes the pressure for sex off the table and so she should be freer to tease without the fear of having any pressure to have sex.

But, this should be explained to her because she will still be in the old mindset and the old habits. You need to make it clear that the cage takes the pressure off of her and that this is one reason why it benefits her.

Now while I agree with a previous post that you might want her to up her game, just wishing it won't give you that. And asking or demanding it off of her is just as likely to put her off even more. So how do you get her to up her game? Well, a cage, rather than being a distraction from that aim can actually improve that situation...

There's nothing like obligation to kill the mood for some people. So ironically, once the pressure is off of her, you might find that she wants sex more often, particularly perhaps when its during your caged period and she cannot have it - in which case you'll have to learn to please her without cumming yourself. And that has yet more benefits for her, thus potentially upping her libido; I used to lick my wife's pussy for ten minutes max before wanting to penetrate, but knowing I can't when caged just keeps me going until she's cum once or maybe twice with my tongue. It keeps you focused on her.. And during that time my own desires just build and build. Its insane, but as hot as hell. One of the challenges though is learning to come down from that without cumming yourself But if she gets to cum more, she'll want sex more often.

 

good thinking, lose your self in a good book and let things develop, don’t be to pushy as you might put her off, maybe give it a few days and just mention something to her, good luck!

 

Leaving things might allow things to develop. Or is might just ensure they get sidelined for longer. Almost every relationship issue boils down to the lack of, or poor communication.

 

Perfect! Now the game can start! How about looking at TS cum comps and blue ball chastity captions in the morning and while at work. Hopefully she sents you some, youre clearly not suffering enough.... Kissing and massaging her feet after a long day at work, some daily horny goat weed, maca for a few months with a week extra punishment if you forget to take them. A nice big glass of water before sleep and an an*l dildo slip in the morning for good measure. When waking up, have her ride a strapon while being locked for a frustratingly close view and get working with that tounge. Watch her orgasm while you're being denied. A surprise smelly sockto your face if you're into that. A lap dance with tight pants with exposed view, and a nice unexpected discreet finger in your butt. Hope this helps and she reads this. Have fun with your blue balls and good luck not going insane!

 

Forum necromancy is alive and kicking.

 

I agree with king Hippo, a hobby would help distract you, but the high you get from the horny is amazing but all will subside if your wife doesn't participate and just leaves you locked.
Eventually you yourself will even lose interest and the horny.

 

@Caged for life Its true, if you dont get use your penis, it'll shrink and interest will be reduced. (some people stay horny even in permanent chastity though afaik) But killing your libido is easy simple and i wouldn't recommend it at since its unhealthy. It's best to strive for a maximized libido. A low libido usually is a sign of low dopamine. Low dopamine is obviously not good for you.

 

Playtonic was last seen: Jun 26, 2021

 

Last post before CPR was performed Sussex UK Sissy Cuck, Sep 5, 2020

 

Playtonic is the best name I’ve seen on here so far. Can’t believe he passed. RIP.