How to cope with longer periods of lock and forget?

At some point, you just gotta be honest with her that "lock and forget" isn't going to work for you.

 

Accept your fate ... and be grateful you have a wife that locks you. Find other ways to keep busy, and if she allows it, use a vibrator to come while wearing your cage.

 

Most of us can't be locked and forgotten. Stress to her that you need her to acknowledge your locked cock more often. Sometimes a bottom has to just tell the top about their needs, and this is a need, its not a desired fetish or kink. In other words, if you communicate with her respectfully and openly, you aren't 'topping from the bottom' in this case. You need to be seen and cherished.

She loves you, and she will understand. You can also help her, by self-acknowledging with a brush against her thigh or perhaps a fun display in the morning before work. Use creativity to gently remind her of your devotion.

 

I go thru periods of this with my KH. We have some family drama contributing to one now. Best I've found is to entertain myself in ways I know I can't easily cum from. All while caged, so if I do cum its not that satisfying.

For instance, I've been playing a lot with my Lovense vibrators and finding random ppl to control them on lovenselife.com. It helps!

 

I would agree with @SubSnuggler. No one likes to be forgotten about. I think I could manage a few minutes as you describe if my wife acknowledged (positively) my situation every 2-3 days. I’d prefer it to be a mutual acknowledgment and challenge than just a unilateral denial.

 

Have you asked your wife for input and ideas? Can she find some quick ways to tease you? A few supervised showers? Other ideas? Or maybe (gulp) she is really looking forward to you learning how to sacrifice for her.

I have a similar situation going on right now. Only been erect 3 times since January. She laughed when I discussed this with her and said: "but I am getting moody, and sometimes not in a nice way, so I don't want to upset you". She replied: "yes, I certainly noticed that. Listen: you have spent your whole life with the mood swings of a rock. How does it feel to experience mood swings like a girl? Don't worry dear, I know what I am doing. You are welcome to beg, but no whining. I will do what I can. Just know that right now you will have to be very nice for a long time just to earn a short break from the cage, that's all I'm going to offer".

That would absolutely not be the answer you are hoping to hear. But I can tell you talking about it somehow helps me deal with it, knowing I am not actually alone in my struggles and that she does, indeed, have a purpose. It turns it from "being ignored" into "servicing her needs at the moment" and I am chalking it all up to a learning experience.

(PS also easy to say 'cause I am fighting Covid and have the sex drive of a rock right now - ask me next week how I'm coping ;-)

 

Yep locked and forgotten sucks. You should discuss with her. Honestly, if your partner isn't interested in your sexual pleasure, you should have the right to take matters into your own hands. We're all sexual beings. If she doesn't like that, she needs to either grow comfortable with you rubbing them out in the shower, or meet you half way and help meet your needs too. Unless you want a FLR where she makes the rules and you have no say, I think that you need to stand up for your own sexual needs.

 

I cannot offer a solution, just support as I too am struggling with lock and forget. It really does my head in that my wife isn't ever even interested enough to tease once in a while. She's never been excited about cock.

I've talked with her about it and my needs many times over the years. She acknowledges but nothing changes. It's getting to the stage I feel nothing for her...she may cave and satisfy me some weeks down the track after I lose it, then the cycle repeats.

You've got a lot of life noise contributing, I wonder if a short trip away for just the two of you would re-ignite something? This has been suggested to me and I feel it would help but we just don't have a budget for travel at the moment.

I wish you luck, and hope to see a post with a positive outcome soon.

 

An unfortunate typo. “Minutes” above should be “months”.

 

Clearly there are several approaches to take. Perhaps see it as an opportunity to re train your body to prefer anal stimulation. Make it a positive.

 

Good progress

 

"Lock and forget" used to give me huge problems...
I wanted so much for her to be constantly and actively teasing and denying me, it felt pointless and empty if she wasn't "involved". I was torn between demanding more and giving up completely.

But then I had a brainwave. I was very aware of not wanting to top from the bottom, our dynamic was so much better when I let her decide without me continually prompting and asking for things, so I merged the two aspects... I told myself that her not mentioning and ignoring my chastity or my desires, was how she tested me, how she imposed her dominance.

By changing my own mindset about what she was thinking, it completely changed everything.
She felt more dominant to me, and I felt more submissive because of it.
Chastity became all the more powerful and satisfying, yet in making the change she was completely unaware of how I changed mentally; She did notice how I became more compliant and content with her. That happened about the same time that we changed from lockup periods of weeks to months, it all clicked together.

 

I agree! This is great advice,

 

I went through a lot of this with my wife. If I had it to do over again, I would say just masturbate. If she doesn't want you masturbating, she can put some fuckin effort into the relationship. If she's not willing to, she can just keep her mouth shut if she finds out you masturbate.

 

I've just resolved to try unlocking myself on weekends and roll or spin for self-inflicted pleasure or pain.

 

I'm with you on this.....i hate lock and forget

 

Understood fuly where u r coming frm.. ful denial but no reward.. u may feel u hv been squared off tat she has suceded in ensuring yr chastity just as she litle sexual needs too.. but isnit tis flr is al about..? The dominant needs above ours.. ? Ok.. mayb both u r sleeping in comon area since a bedrom is lost.. but how bout a sneak into her shower together.. im sure she cant ignore u when nude with only a cage on..

 

I’m going through this as well at moment due to a bereavement in the family early November,I’m really frustrated now it been a long time since I’ve cum and last night she finally said I could play with her and made her cum three times after I said my turn to cum she said no you have to wait ,i really thought it was going to happen she laughed then went to sleep so cruel.

 

That's a great start. Keep talking from there until you find a routine that you both enjoy and your marriage will be steel (pun intended).

 

It does sound like you are making progress with your wife which is good to hear. I would recommend that you go longer than a few days or a week without an orgasm. My wife usually makes me go about four we3ks without one and the difference in your bevior is eye opening. You really become more devoted to her after a week.
The teasing in those four weeks is the most important thing though. She teases me twice a week and I can usually give her an orgasm once a week. This could be done very discreetly under the covers. Just don't make it a chore for her and she will enjoy your predicament much more.
Good luck.