The real feeling of Chastity

Hi, former lurker here. Just finished catching up on this thread and it's been absolutely amazing. Your life story has been ridiculously fascinating and there's no doubt I feel oh so jealous of your luckiness. I also really appreciate you keeping track of and writing everything down over the last year or so.

One thing I agree with you on is the "forced bi" angle of Ms. Suz's party you mentioned. I've never understood why cuckolding or other related things is so prevalent in male sub fantasies. I've never had any such fantasy, and if a future partner did that to me, aside from absolutely refusing, I would be devastated that she would even consider it. Like when your wife was checking out "Trace", if it were me in your position I would feel sick and disturbed (lol I'm rather possessive like that). I just couldn't handle it. Regardless of the punishment it would entail, I think I would blow up. Maybe Ms. Suz purposely wanted you to see the whipping and forced bi stuff at the party, but I'd be as disturbed as you were about your wife being "entranced" by the whole scenario.

Also, based on your description of your father-in-law, I was wondering what ethnicity you and your wife were? If you don't want to answer that or feel offended or something (certainly no offense meant! i'm just curious as it adds to the image in my head), you of course don't have to answer.

 

Cum pills - do they really exist or is this just a little mixture that works? I am glad its all going well for you and I have read with interest your journey and blog - and its also nice to find some who doesnt want to cucked at all - I totally see where you are coming from on that - TOTALLY!
Good Luck
Phil

 

M
I don't remember how your wife uses the stored cum. Maybe she's getting ready for Therisa's visit? Have you had any more thoughts or discussions about Therisa? Do you think you will have to serve her nude? Now that sounds really humiliating.
SFD

 

Be careful with the hair conditioning idea...........did you never see the movie "theres something strange about mary"! :manga_angry:
Great Journal though always enjoy catching up on your incredible journey although glad my wife doesn,t read it in case she gets too many ideas.

 

Hi Mobico.
I have been wasy a while and just got caught up it loks like the rollercoaster is quietening down a bit and there seem to be less low points. I know exactly how you feel about needing to know you are loved even if you ure being punished. Good luck with the Theresa thing. I had a similar ish even a couple of years ago with my wifes best friend it ended as a laugh with some titilation but nothing too racy. I had to serve them for hte weekend in the cage but in general with normal clothes over the top. But we did play cards and I did end up briefly in a short skirt making the tea as a forfeit which was kind of wierd. Any way I enjoy this thread please keep it going and good luck.

 

Hi Mobico this seems like some of the blow ups my wife and i have from time to time although we are not in as deep as you two are we still have an agreement that whenever she tells me to get into a lockup situation i MUST do it whether i want to or not even though i know i am not in the wrong but i shall be punished whatever its just part of the territory. Anyway i think the similarity is that after a session or period of intense activity it is easy to get swept along by the adrenaline etc and the excitement builds as you realise all you ever wished for is happening in real time, but then when my wife cools slightly and seems to be just going through the motions doing the same sort of things but seemingly without any real involvement i get a little irritated and that is when we normally have a little spat. It seems to her i am doing it on purpose to get a reaction from her when she doesn,t want to play but in reality it must be subconciously then because i would sooner nothing happened and we just acted as normal until she next really wanted to have something happen with both of us fully involved. Women can be funny things sometimes to understand and to someone who has spent their whole life trying to manipulate someone into experimenting with something they never really wanted to get involved in it now seems so difficult to accept that this person has now surpassed the original concept i had and taken it on and adapted it to suit them totally.

 

Hello Mobico,

First thank you for your response to my question. It gave me a lot to think about

I am a little sad/worried to hear about the cage blow up and it got me thinking about the chastity play dynamic. You have said that you are in mistress/slave dynamic with your wife with her considering you a piece of property and I would be nervous that that play might lose the original chastity dynamic of the play a little bit. To try and explain what I am talking about, Stroppy spoke of the keyholder adapting and growing into their role and changing their role to suit their needs. I think you and your wife are a good example of that. You started with simple orgasm denial, then your wife started leveraging chores for you to earn an orgasm, and it has contined to build from there. Of course that may be an oversimplification, but trying to picture your relationship with your wife now based on what you said about your daily routine and this new development with the cage I wonder if you specifically have turned from a chastity slave to a more basic slave in the context of your role with your wife.

Now I can't help but think about, in regards to being stuck in a jail cell in the basement, what you get out of the relationship. Yes it may still be exciting to be "owned" but there has to be a limit to what you will accept and I wonder what that limit would be for you. If you are truly a slave in that you no longer have any basic rights, and there was some means of coercing you, your wife could very will chain you to a chair, put the hood on, blindfold you, gag you, and leave you there until she went to sleep every day of the week when you were t working. This is obviously an extreme end of the spectrum of how to treat a "slave" but I am sure that you would not put up with such treatment long before it got that extreme. I also do not believe your wife would want to do that to you either, because I do not think that you could inflict such treatment on someone you loved. So now you consider the motivation of you to continue being a "slave" (I put slave in quotes because I don't believe it's possible to truly be a slave and to not be breaking the law) in that you are still actively giving consent to everything that happens to you. And you must consider your wife's motivation to lock you up for hours at a time.

The fun of being a chastity slave is that you are given a choice everytime you are told to do something. Sure you can misbehave and not do as you are told but you risk sexual release, something you certainly want but don't really need. It may be that you are losing the sexual coercion element of the play which in my mind would start to teeter on an abusive/exploitive relationship. If your wife starts punishing you by withholding attention from her or much worse basic human needs you have crossed into a deeper level of servitude perhaps to the point where it ceases to be a game. If that's what she wants, then ask the question "why". What is her motivation to push the boundary? It could be that she is thinking of new things to do to you that get her excited. Then it would still be a fun sexual game, and it might make playing it with her a little easier on you if you knew that. If it isnt about sexual excitement and it's about her literally treating you like property without the right to do what you please when she doesn't have need for you then it might be time to have a talk and reevaluate what you both want from the relationship. Of course you love your wife, and of course playing this game with her has brought you two closer together, but it is still a game or it starts to become a relationship that may be considered abusive/exploitive. I am not trying to say that your wife is being abusive or exploitive but she (and you) should realize that you have the power to end this game any time. You can get out of the cage by deceiving her (taking a business trip) or you could literally overpower her if came down her wanting to cane you.

Of course these actions would ruin the trust you have built up with your wife, but if she has driven you to do these things then something was wrong. Talk to her about her motivations, maybe try to touch base with her on how you REALLY view each other in regards to your relationship and talk about where this is heading. Maybe it's time for you two to drop the intensity a notch or two. Ask her if she misses the old you, or if she misses being treated like a lady by a gentlemen whose only motivation to be nice to her was that he loved her.

I guess the bottom line of this really long post is trying to say is that you should stand up for yourself a little in order to really understand your roles and why you both are continuing to play this game.

You have shared so much with us, Mobico. You have detailed the journey of a couple into chastity and there is a lot to be learned from your writing and I am just trying to offer any help I can to try and give back a little.

-Sergeant

 

Since other viewpoints are represented already, I'll share my "devil's advocate", there are moments in every relationship, vanilla and otherwise, where the parties are in "different places" emotionally, energetically, different levels of desire, etc. In vanilla relationships, those are the "I've got a headache" days. In kink relationships, the different perspectives of the time play out differently.

I don't believe the key is necessarily to back off or re-evaluate everything, but it can exhibit itself in conflict (often with the view that one is doing it just for attention).

But here's the thing, it's exhausting to be responsible for someone. It's like taking care of a baby 24/7, you constantly have to be aware of their needs as well as your own, constantly be managing their activities as well as your own, and sometimes you just might want a break--not a return to how the relationship was before, but a moment to yourself where you don't have to worry about them.

What's the easy solution? Lock up safe. Supposedly both like it. It's been fine before. Who would guess that at that precise moment, that degree of denial was emotionally a bit much?

Now here's the rub. At a time when she might be needing less issue, it happens to cause upset, and that reaction pushes all the wrong buttons at that time. It's just logical. The key is to recognize these things as (or before) they are happening, so that awareness can stave off conflict.

Consider if when she returned to the cage, your body language made it apparent you were delighted to see her, instead of being tensed up and annoyed? She was probably coming down anticipating your delight in being freed, but instead her expectations were shattered.

I've known many who don't find healthy reactions in these situations, who simply learn that's what they do, and the pattern is repeated, and few who learn other options. It's very tricky when communication is limited...to communicate. ;-) Wouldn't it also be very tiring to try to communicate and learn how another is feeling through that circumstance?

 

Is_Randy,

You bring up some good points about being in different places emotionally and how to deal with it. I think I may have miscommunicated myself a little earlier. I agree with you about both parties needing breaks from the intensive roles, but I think I wanted to focus my comments on the 24/7 aspect of play. My point was that they are currently in a 24/7 relationship where Mobico can only break from his role when he is getting a tease, and that might be something to discuss. It maybe easier for the dominant to lock the submissive up (relatively) safe but I think that level of control can be extremely taxing on the submissive. It's good that she can monitor Mobico through the cameras, but while caging him might make it easier on her (if that's her motivation for the caging) it is still difficult on the submissive to sit through hours of boredom or any other tasks that might be given to him.

The other reason I suggested having a talk was to try and discuss how "24/7" the relationship is, and to see if that type of relationship is sustainable especially on the part of the submissive, but also on the part of the dominant. Like Is_Randy said taking care of someone else can be very exhausting and if that is the motivation behind the caging, maybe other options could be explored that might make it more exciting for Mobico. Make sure your wife is still enjoying her role and see if she might ever want a break from the pressure of being a dominant 24/7.

If you two are happy with the status quo then by all means keep going I just might have gotten too personal with my advice earlier, and I definitely didn't mean to insinuate that you two were doing anything wrong. I was trying to instead offer advice on maybe heading off a future blow up.

-Sergeant

 

M,

Here’s my two cents. The feeling of chastity should be joy. If not, then why are you doing it. It seems as if you are going through the motions of obeying your wife but there doesn’t seem to be much joy or excitement in it expressed by you in your posts. Yes, the occasional sexual excitement after waiting patiently in the basement, but that’s just occasional. From reading your posts, your wife seems to by trying to enjoy herself at your expense, without much regard to your feelings in the matter (you’re just property). Maybe that excites her but this should be consensual and I would think a loving wife would want to make sure you’re happy as well. I may be dead wrong but I’m feeling as if your wife is a bit selfish in this matter. It’s ok to give you basement time if that helps your training and leads to a happier submissive but it doesn’t sound like that’s happening.

I know that it is difficult to be the dom and plan things out and know what’s going to make you happy so communication is needed here.

From what I’ve read, by definition, a submissive still has some say in their treatment, a slave has no say. But when becoming a slave, the amount of trust in your wife is such that you are willing to obey any command. I’m not sure you’re there in this matter. In spite of your wife thinking you’re her slave, you still do have some say and I think that makes you a sub, rather than a slave. You still want to have some say and that’s fine. Perhaps down the road it will happen, maybe not, that’s up to you.

By giving up your sexuality, you are giving your wife the greatest gift a man can give. My sentiment is that your wife should always appreciate this and try to make you as happy as she is.

Sometimes I think you wanted one thing out of the chastity relationship and, by your wife going to a professional dom, she wanted (or was coached into) something else, some of which you don’t seem to want. I think, too, that your wife is still having trouble with the dom role.

Just one more thing before I go. I do think your wife has a ‘grand plan’ in mind, much of which was imparted by her mentor, Ms Suz. I thing that’s a good thing for you (if done right) since it ensures continuing thrills and new adventures.

 

M
On April 22 you said "Wow..SFD; You make it sound like she had a plan to do this the whole time. I'm sure that isn't the case. We just fell into things the way they are. And she doesn't make me wear the mask that often..Also, I don't think she wants me shaved to turn me into a woman..she just wants a 'clean' man to service her ;-) lol Your comment about her being inspired to become a sadist really threw me off, but I think also struck a cord..For I see a sadist as someone who likes to hurt people; like the way Ms. Suz was pounding on that guy. She doesn't do that to me. "

One definition of "Plan" from Miriam Webster is "a method for achieving an end." Planning is fundamental to being human. We see a vision of what we want and we pursue it.

When your wife handed you a shopping list for extension ladders from The Home Depot, wasn't that a plan? The issue isn't that she has plans, the question is, "What are her objectives."

More quotes. Feb 14,2011. She opened up tonight on her excitment about this, telling me how before she was doing it for me, but now she wants to take advantage, and do it for herself. She said understood my angle of powerplay, and really wants to push that idea hard. She kept asking me if I was really ok with this, bringing her insecurities out. .... "I don't want to go easy, I want this to be real". She was really adamant about this.

March 23, 2011. She said she has never felt so sexually alive, or emotionally empowered in her life. That all this was new and very exciting for her. Something she had not imagined. She really opened up as she explained this, and I felt really emotionally connected to her....  And when we connected, she put the cards on the table - She needs a way to enforce her will, and the cane is what she will use.

I believe through advice of Ms Suz, her daily experiences with you and the experience of last year's party, she's been pursuing an objective.

So what do you think is her objective of your jail? What does it provide her?
SFD

 

great reply mobi and how great that she has confided in you that this was one of her fantasies (who knew)! perhaps their are a lot more to be experimented with .I can see the appeal from your point of view about this now

 

Thanks for sharing with us! I want to try and amend the points I made earlier. Basically it seems like a dominant in any type of non-vanilla relationship should remain aware of their subs needs and make sure that the sub knows that the dominant is aware. Taking it a step further when the dominant shares the motivation behind having a sub do something it allows the sub to draw pleasure from the activity outside of being happy just serving their dominant. In your case I imagine it's much easier to sit in the cell knowing how it excites your wife versus sitting in the cell without knowing why you are in there other than the fact that your princess told you to. I hope I'm not rambling too much but I felt like I came across as way to critical earlier and that definitely wasn't my intention.

Your thread is so full of insights I am thankful to you that you have shared it with us and have allowed us to analyze and voice our thoughts as well. This thread is becoming a perfect primer for what to expect when entering and sustaining a chastity lifestyle especially for those guys out there who want to get locked up but maybe aren't fully prepared for the reality of the situation versus the fantasy.

 

Fear the worst but hope for the best while expecting the unexpected as your partners fantasies may not be the same as yours.
And always be careful what you wish for!
Rita

 

It really cracks me up to read all the replies warning this guy off. Is no one able to understand a wind up?

Every time there is a protest, it's the same basic response "Gee ... that's not what's happening. I'm going to listen to my tapes. She's so wonderful. No it's not hypnosis, it's just meditation. I'm so sleepy these days."

LOL. Just let him write his story so we can all jerk off while we read it. In less than a few months, his wife will be doing it with other guys all the time and he will be in the cage full-time dressed as a woman. His protests will be met with more meditation tapes and eventual acceptance. Sit back and enjoy the story.

Maybe he can start posting pictures of the cell that he's built to show us how horrible the situation is and give us some visuals to go along with the story.

 

I'm no longer so sure that M's wife is going toward cuckolding, or fem - beyond body shaving, which is more emasculation rather than femming. I am expecting some forced cock sucking.

M, I guess the comment that most key holders just like the attention and service from their chaste husbands, & don't care that much about sex, doesn't apply to your wife. She is truly turned on by subordinating you (is that an easier word than humiliating? It means the same thing.). I think her vision is what she saw at the parties, with maybe more humiliation rather than violence. That means clothed females, naked, shaved, hooded, chastised males. She's truly sexually excited by seeing forced bondage and helplessness.

I'm not so sure that you'll be clothed while serving Therisa. I know you don't think your wife will have you naked, but that's my prediction. We only have to wait a couple more weeks to see how that one plays out.

Thank you so much for this thread.
SFD

 

Call me silly, but from reading the posts I strongly suspect that Mobico does not fully trust his mistress, especially when it comes to the influence of her femdom friend. His concern may be reasonable, after all he knows mistress better than we, or it may be irrational. In either case, he may not have much choice in the matter. Methinks the die has been cast and his fate hangs in the balance.

 

I'm afraid I disagree (but no observation/feeling is silly). In fact, early on I was more concerned there was too much trust given her (then) lack of experience and the degree things progressed to so rapidly.

But this is an insightful, sharp woman, who adapts to circumstances well, without losing sight of the process. There SHOULD be fear, nervous anticipation, and all the insecurities expressed--that is what leads to excitement after all!

However, it's one thing to try to talk your wife into becoming your keyholder, and quite another to realize she has her own fantasies which it fits in to, beyond the scope of your initial imaginings. That drama unfolding is that makes this experience so engrossing.

Early on there was conflict (in the kitchen) with Ms. Suz, and a certain someone stood her ground. ;-) THAT is when I felt, believe it or not, pride in her, and my own level of trust in what was going on rose significantly. As that demonstrated that if another person of influence brought about a suggestion that wouldn't work in their relationship, she would reject it.

Remember too, we don't get to see a complete picture, just highlights from one perspective, filtered by strong emotional reactions--which is great, I wouldn't have it any other way.

In this recent case, she couldn't have done better, she recognized the disconnect between the activity and her expression of loving care, and not only demonstrated it, but reinforced it with a reward. She built up anticipation, but might very likely tone things down again this weekend, to be sure she isn't rewarding "acting out", or topping from the bottom.

Meanwhile I'll continue to anticipate the next development too! And again, express my appreciation for the great sharing.