The real feeling of Chastity

Pretty intense experience. If the young guy didnt want to blow the other guy he simply wouldnt have done it... Now as for the guy who was taking a severe beating, the sounds pretty intense but I have been present where someone was taking a severe beating and begging for it to stop. But usually that is because the dom/me knows how much the sub can take and just pushing he limits a bit.

Ms. Cathy is probably very in tune with her sub and knows how far she can take it. Can't say for sure as I wasnt there but that has been my experience/

 

M

Did you ask, or your wife tell you, how the evening's show affected her?

I am going to assume the live-in was whipped not harder than, or perhaps just a little more than, his limit. I would also like to assume that Ms Suz is experienced enough not to lose control and really hurt him.

I can understand your feelings as it's one thing to see it in movies or even live but when you have a bit of a connection to it and can experience the real emotion, it can get scary. It's difficult to see anyone taken to their physical and emotional limits (and beyond). The effect it had on you was, I believe, was exactly what Ms Suz planned.

I have read real life stories that horrified me and I know would forever stay in my mind but somehow I kept reading. I sometimes wonder if it's ultimately harmful to me. But so far, after many years of it, nothing to report.

PS I'm real glad you have settled into a satisfying 'routine'.

 

Like dboy said, glad things are going so well... and likewise, it would be interesting to know what your wife thought of the event. How she felt about it might even be some indication of her future plans and ideas... or not. But you would have to wonder.

 

M
I also noticed that a year ago was the origin of the hypnosis.
"May 3,2011. Another thing that stood out was when she would have me repeat something over and over, I first would just repeat word for word, not taking what I was saying as anything more than play. But then as I repeating it over and over, I would question if it was true or not. And though I know my mind objected to what I was saying, I remember clearly questioning if what I was saying is true or not. ...A perfect example is when my wife talked to me about seeing her naked. She had me get on my knees and look at her feet. Then she said something like "When was the last time I saw her naked?" I responded "A month ago". Then she said "I don't think you deserve to see me naked, do you agree". I'd respond "Yes, Princess, I don't think I deserve to see you naked". And as she asked it over and over, having me repeat it over and over, I really started to question what I would need to do to deserve to see her naked. I know this sounds kooky, but it was real.. Looking back, I know its a game, but still, this feeling stuck with me."
SFD

 

Oh, I think there's a lot to be said for repetition. It works it's wonder even if, like you say, you aren't thinking of it as anything but play. Repetition is how we learn sometimes. Interesting point though about whether one would come to believe something it might think not true. I would think in some cases, it would get you to believing it.

 

M
I see the repeating of phrases that you described on May 3, 2011, as a mind conditioning technique similar to the hypnosis that you began on this year's Valentines Day. For example,yeast May you said, "Looking back, I know its a game, but still, this feeling stuck with me.". Now you said "She keeps giving me new mediation wav files almost every day, and I always come out of the meditation feeling appreciated, and wanting to please right back ;-)"
Both seem to be mind conditioning techniques to reduce your anger and accept your humiliation.

 

M
I love following your story and observing what I see over time. I observed that the party you went to this year, very likely your wife went to last year and greatly inspired her to become a full time sadist. After last year's party, she began
1. Body shaving you for emasculation
2. Hooding you for dehumanization
3. Mind conditioning for control
4. Leaving her husband for her full time slave.

I, like you cherish humiliation in place of love. Thank you for sharing your life with us. Serving Therisa is only the next adventure that your wife is taking you with her control that she has now gained. You will be humiliated. You will love it.

 

I think we all look forward to hearing how it goes with Therisa. Could be a memorable Memorial Day! Let's hope all the conditioning has helped and you will give the ladies a pleasurable and amusing holiday. You got that blowjob from Cathy as I recall? Do you think your wife will want you to pleasure or interact with Therisa sexually?

 

Very intense. Your wife obviously knows your feelings towards her friend so I can imagine this being quite humiliating.

 

Catching up a bit, it doesn't sound like anyone at the party safe-worded. Being able to scream for mercy is part of the intent of safe words after all, as much to ensure safety as to enable free expression without miscommunication.

As for the bi guy's scene doing oral with an audience (and presumably recorded, or was that just a mock prop?), ever wonder if that scene might have been a reward for him? (Although given the result of him now living in, it seems to me it was more a test, perhaps of boundaries, perhaps of living up to claims he made.)

 

M
I think pain can be inflicted on someone for pleasure either physically or emotionally through humiliation. No your wife didn't have a plan all along, only after you introduced it to her. But then she fell in love with humiliating you. Like this posting

 March 23,2011." our entire interaction over the course of the past 3 to 5 weeks has been with her as the Keyholder, with me as the Chastity Slave; That we have not taken a break from the role for weeks.and yes..she actually used the words "chastity slave".   She said she has never felt so sexually alive, or emotionally empowered in her life. That all this was new and very exciting for her. Something she had not imagined."

I think the hood has been used with specific purpose. When you were at this year's party, you were being publicly humiliated, the hood served to protect your identity. Last year you wrote of a different purpose May 18,2011 "it is helping her deal with the duality of having me both as a husband and a chasitty slave'. When I have the mask on, she can actually see me as her her slave, with no doubt, or guilt about treating me as a servant. When the mask is off, mask, she has difficulty staying in her role as a mistress/princess, and starts to second guess her treatment of me. So, for now, the mask stays on in the house, I stay naked and shaved, and those are the rules."

She has fallen in love with humiliating you. That means taking you along a journey of breaking boundaries of debasing your pride and identity. Right now that's redefining your relationship with Therisa. As long as she's pursuing humiliation, the boundaries will be expanded. You expressed your fear to her of homosexuality. That's a future humiliation opportunity for the journey you're on.

So no, she didn't plan this all along. But she is planning now that she's fallen in love with humiliating you.

 

Here's an article on erotic humiliation
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_humiliation

Erotic humiliation is the consensual use of psychological humiliation in a sexual context, whereby one person gains arousal or erotic excitement from the powerful emotions of being humiliated and demeaned, or of humiliating another; often (but not always) in conjunction with sexual stimulation of one or both partners in the activity. The humiliation need not be sexual in itself; as with many other sexual activities it is the feelings derived from it which are sought, regardless of the nature of the actual activity. It can be verbal or physical, and can be relatively private or public.

 

M
I reviewed the list from the erotic humiliation article for elements that I've seen in your thread. 

This is where you started. 
Erotic sexual denial – the use of a chastity belt.

This is where you're going next. 
Public humiliation – Having friends, family or strangers aware of or witnessing one's treatment.

I think many of these have also already occurred. 
Verbal belittlement, such as "slave", "boy", "girl", "missy", "pet"

Forced repetition – such as being obliged to repeat back commands to confirm them.

Being scolded like a child.

Forced sexual degradation – forced to perform acts such as erotic massage, cunnilingus, analingus, or fellatio.

Detailed accountability and control (micro-management) as to time spent or activities done, including list of jobs to do, precise directions as to how the housework is to be performed, and exactly how to act and behave.

Specific rituals and affectations to be adopted. This includes displays of subservience, such as lighting cigarettes, walking a pace behind the dominant, only speaking when spoken to, kneeling or prostrating in front of the dominant when expecting orders, eating only after others or on the floor, low status place to sleep.

Body worship – activities such as kissing or licking the dominant's feet, boots, buttocks, anus, vulva, etc. to express acknowledgment, subservience, shame, or even positive emotions such as happiness or excitement.

Deprivation of privacy – This may include never being able to leave the room in which the dominant is present without permission.

Being forbidden to leave the house or 'dungeon' in general for the duration of slavery or servitude, etc.

Discipline (BDSM) – Erotic spanking, slapping, whipping, restraining or other BDSM activities such as cock and ball torture (CBT).

Dresscode (BDSM) – Prohibation or restrictions of clothing, even in public.
Both sexes may be expected to go completely nude, with decorative objects such as collars, diapers, bands, tiaras, or cuffs being the only exceptions.

Embarrassment.

Forced anal penetration using dildos, anal plugs, or similar objects.

Having to ask permission to orgasm during sex or masturbation.

Forced to wear a gag or restraints on the body.

Financial domination, where usually a submissive (or money slave) will give gifts and money to a dominant. The relation may often be accompanied by other practices of BDSM, but there may be virtually no further intimacy between the individuals.

Forced masturbation in a humiliating manner.

Some sexual humiliation involves inflicting pain, but much of it is far more concerned with ridicule, mocking, degradation, and embarrassment.

Erotic hypnosis is the practice of hypnosis or mental persuasion and mind control to affect another person's sexuality or sexual perceptions, or to enhance their sexual experiences. Reducing inhibitions and increasing arousal are the most common goals of erotic hypnosis, as are the placement of trigger words in the subject's mind as post-hypnotic suggestion that can cause them to react in a certain way at a future time when triggered.

SFD

 

M
You live it & write it, I study it. I'm living out humiliation through fantasies about your life, visiting gay bath houses & M4M massage.

I haven't had sex with my wife for 20 years. Now that's f(*kd.
SFD

 

Hello Mobico,

I've been a lurker for quite a while and I just wanted to take some time to let you know that I have found it very informative and insightful to be able to read what you've shared of your adventure with chastity so far. It's common to hear that you need to be careful what you wish for, and for someone interested in chastity play with a partner it is nice to see how the play can evolve once the keyholder starts to get into her role more. It has made me really think about the implications of surrendering control of a chastity belt to my partner, haha even though the thought is very exciting

The big reason I've decided to speak up is to add my two cents to SFD's thoughts on erotic humiliation - specifically to provide a different point of view if it's wanted. I agree that erotic humiliation definitely has its place in a dominant/submissive relationship, but I don't think that is neccesarily the end goal of your wife to humiliate you. A lot of the activities that SFD listed can also be seen simply as your wife exerting her control over you. I am not sure how to best verbalize what I am trying to say, but to give an example I don't think your wife was looking for ways to humiliate you when she had you start handing over your paycheck money to her. Its my opinion that she might have had the idea given to her (either through a book or through Ms. Suz) and she found it exciting to have her husband, who had been the "dominant" one in the relationship (you mentioned something along those lines early on), suddenly willing to get on his knees and hand over all of his money to her. I think she is getting satisfaction simply through exerting her dominance, not necessarily soley through humiliating you. It was noted that there has seemed to be more escalation in what your wife has demanded/asked of you, but that could also be explained simply by her wanting to push the limits of her dominance as the status quo starts to become more mundane.

Right now the best fun I have when playing with chastity with my keyholder is being ordered around by her, especially when she has me do things that I "don't" want to do like extra long massages, feet kissing, her chores, or pleasure sessions without any for me. Sure, part of it is a little humiliating, but the real rush for me is the illusion that I have to listen to her or risk losing a chance to have an orgasm. I think the same is true for her that as long as she can make me do something I normally wouldn't do she gets the same sexual rush. My greatest fear with pursuing chastity is being in a situation where I have to listen to her (like being in a secure device that doesn't have to come off all the time for proper hygiene) and having the submission dynamic lose its sexual energy. For example, once she gets bored with having me do the laundry she will want to find another way to recreate that sexual energy. Its that tendancy that I think might be the reason your wife seems to be upping the ante.

I hope that I didn't get too long winded or seem like I was on a soapbox, but I felt like speaking up for a while now. Please ignore my thoughts if they seem wrong or based off of some detail I missed or misinterpreted. I do have a question for you though... You've shared a lot about the difficulties you have gone through and it has helped me get an idea of what to expect if I pursue this relationship with my partner, but I was wondering what your daily routine is like, but more specifically how you feel about/during it. You mentioned that you feel appreciated after listening to your meditations, but has the chastity play/lifestyle lost some of that sexual energy after having solidified your roles with your wife more? Like I said I am worried that after some time in chastity it might get boring to be locked up due to a lack of sexual excitement. Being made to serve then might get tedious and not be fun anymore. So what is it like day to day now? Is it fun and exciting to be a "slave" to your wife or has the relationship become more like one of a butler serving his employer (obviously not to that extreme as I imagine/hope that you and your wife still have that love for each other that you did when you were first married)? The source of this question comes from your wife not guaranteeing you a tease anymore and I imagine that this occurance would be something that is more common than not with couples practicing chastity.

I hope I have made sense and haven't been too long-winded. Again, I have really enjoyed following your progression. Thank you for sharing with all of us

 

Sergeant
Thanks for your input. Words can have different meanings to different people. Humiliation and domination are very closely related. They both involve the relative status and rank of relationships and they involve control. However, in what M has related about Therisa, it seems like humiliation is a very appropriate word. Emotional pain is definitely involved.

M
I'm sure your wife is expecting you to act out and push back about Therisa's visit during the next five weeks before she arrives.
You get to choose how you respond.
>You could test the humiliation theory and ask to " talk without consequences" and say that you feel like she's trying to humiliate you.
>You could try to drive her nuts by not providing any response. (maybe she'd think that the hypnosis must really be working)
>She's probably expecting sulking and general bad behavior requiring caning corrections.
>You could share your feelings during your next tease session and look to see her response.

M. Thank you again for sharing your life with us.
SFD

 

I too wish to thank you once again for sharing your journey with us, as well as engaging in explorations with us.

We, of course, only reading words of perceptions, tend to respond by analyzing them. It can help to have that "sounding board", but we can also over-analyze!

For example, my reaction to reading the suggestion that "mercy" might have been that guys safeword led me to immediately think that it was more his outlet, the word he focuses on to alleviate the pain, some shout "no", some shout "stop", some tops insist they shout "more" perversely. But usually a safeword isn't something like that, it's something incongruous with the moment "pineapple" so it won't be confused in the heat of things.

OK, that was my thought, and would have been easy for me to write that here. But is it relevant at all?

Probably not. Your feelings in the moment, your visceral stomach-turning reaction. Your squelched desire to speak out. Your dealing with those feelings afterward. Your reassurance from your wife about the outcome of things (nobody went to the police with charges of assault, but maintained their relationships, or even deepened them).

Per the more recent turn of topic, I have felt your wife had "plans", whether self motivated, or via professional support, she obviously learned what she could, and applied what she desired. She has taken your desires in to account, and adjusted along the way to fit both of you. That is why I learned to trust her and her care of you. Early on, I was more concerned, as you shared some extremes that seemed beyond your limits/desires, without sharing the nurturing aspects. But when folks here would object, you'd reassure us that you and she were in fact strengthening your intimacy as a result of things.

Does the technique matter? Does it matter if it's labeled "hypnosis" or "chanting" or "meditation"? Does it matter if it's direct physical control or mental manipulation? Either way it's exciting, either way it's bringing happiness.

I expect the visit will be easier than you expect, much smoother than it might have been in any previous incarnation of your relationships, and afterward you'll look back on it a little surprised at the positive outcome. Sure, there'll be bumps, and you'll be shocked, and it'll be uncomfortable in limited ways, but overall a lot more comfortable I believe. Why? Because people react to us. Now the interactions will be completely different, you'll not be able to react to her in the way you used to, so she'll respond to you differently. That will result in your response also being different, allowing you to feel differently about the interaction, and possibly even about her.

Meanwhile I'm SO going to be looking forward to your post-Memorial weekend update now, heh!

 

mobico, I am glad you realise that a Mistress is not obsessed with sex continually. I know that being locked in a chastity device increases your horniness, but our main pleasure from the situation you find yourself in, is the great increase in kind and gentle attentiveness you give us. I wish you well in your lifestyle. Please forgive me if I have misunderstood anything but I have not had time to read thro' entirely such a long thread.