121 days.

Yes. That would be the fantasy. Yet, we’re in the process of finding what works for her don’t forget… and before we entered these four months she was adamant that she’d want times when I wasn’t caged so that she could enjoy herself too. She needed a little playtime for herself to get her into the zone. She likes penis, can’t argue with that.

Now, we’re either at a stage where she genuinely likes this way and feels satisfied, or she is moving towards giving me my fantasy because she wants to please me… which ultimately won’t work for her.

I still have no idea how she intends to manage a release ‘schedule’ or if she’d finding confidence in herself now. I’ve definitely stopped pressuring her for anything more than she wants to give… so that helps. Who knows.

I could easily masturbate four times a day without issue. A few minutes alone if I’m horny and it’s game time! I don’t think there is any breaking of that habit.

 

Good advice. I will muse on and overthink this concept for a good few days…

Indirectly. How is wasting so much time and energy ever a positive in a relationship?
More directly I know there’s been times where I’ve been longing for the house to be empty just so I could have a proper session. Imagine that, wishing your wife wasn’t around even though you’re in a good mood
Plus, it’s really bad for self-esteem.

 

Has there been a change in your situation, I may have missed it, but I was under the impression that when she unlocks you there’s always an explosion? Or have you incorporated ‘freedom for teasing’ into the mix?

See, that’s where I was heading… and then Jay got into my head.
It has me thinking…

‘my wife is happier now than we have been for a long time. She is not getting at all what she asked for….’

My initial conclusion on this was simple, if she was a man I’d just lock her penis away…
Strangely enough, she’s not, so with that I have many other thoughts:
Is she happier because I am happy? Do I cater to her needs subconsciously when I’m chaste? Is she more accepting in her needs of a happy life than the desire for intercourse? Has she now found that need met with a strapon? Is the intimacy she feels from my orgasm at the point of intercourse now fulfilled in other events…?

Lots of thinking, so little to conclude upon!

 

87 days to go…

Hypothetical Happiness

My wife and I had a good vibe last night and ended up talking about ‘happiness’. We talked a lot more and about other topics but there is something in asking “are you happy?” that is rather noteworthy. As a summary:

Me: Yeah. I’m absolutely shattered and work is about as stressful as it can be, but I feel much happier within myself right now. Its nice. It makes us good and that affects everyone around us.

(Ok, I’ll admit I didn’t know the conversation was posed in regards to chastity)

Her: Isn’t it strange, all those years and relationships and you’ve always been obsessed with sex and it’s never worked out, but now you’re much happier when you have that taken away.

Me: I know right. Who knew.

I then posed the same question back.

Her: Yeah, I really want to do something tonight, I’m in the mood for it. My body is wiped out though. I could force it and I’d probably still enjoy it but it’s so much better that we can come to bed and just enjoy each other’s time without that pressure to perform.

As the evening progressed I took the hint, and instead of massaging her completely I gave her a nice back rub. Honestly, even that is almost too sexual to handle right now, seeing her pert bottom nestled in her pyjamas. It’s warmth caressing my cage. Anyway…

We ended the evening falling asleep as I spooned her. Bliss right?

It’s safe to say that we have finally found and agreed that we have contentment in our lives; concerning our sex life for certain. When our sex life is working, so is everything else (and vice versa).

However…

4 months is a lot longer than the time we have completed so far; things can change…

I have seen the ‘reviews’ on the 90 day lock-downs, ultimately the consensus is that it is restrictive and can become monotonous. Ultimately, a lot conclude that it wasn’t a great time (some may disagree), if that is the case for me, that if my experience drops off as time goes on, I wanted to remember this moment: Where it does work. I want to be able to conclude that even if 4 months is too long, I have found the ideal for our personal chastity life.


So here’s my hypothetical formula for chastity to work if freedom was available at this point:

Lock-up times: 6 weeks
Right now I’m desperate to be free. To feel myself inside of her and have one of the shortest but overwhelming experiences we can. Yet. The desperation is what drives me, it shouldn’t be on offer as soon as I am ready.
I work well to a countdown, in the knowledge that I will be denied

For my wife, she wants to feel that intimate connection. She has now found satisfaction without my penis, but to remove the experience completely seems fruitless.
8 times a year feels like a good balance.
Having timescales takes the pressure from her to feel she has to control the situation.

Periods of freedom:
My wife has concluded that my orgasms should be for us, not about masturbation. I completely agree. Freedom should be granted for as long as she is capable of removing the ability for me to act on that temptation. Overnight wouldn’t be a concern if I was fully satisfied just before… but considerations should be made that I could wake up earlier than her. It wouldn’t take long for me to fall off the wagon.

Pleasure limits:
For me, every two weeks seems to work perfectly for a form of release whilst caged. It removes the neediness factor without providing the relief to drop off in my moods. It keeps me satisfied in our sex life… yet, I’ve found myself feeling I don’t need them so much as I need to please her; that being restricted in giving her too many orgasms is as tough as my own.

For her, she needs the break in between. We both enjoy that time too. Twice a week just works.

Additions:
As the period of freedom is less than my wife initially planned, it could be a clever compromise that would make both us happy to bring in some cage free playtime. Ruined only orgasms or less. Her itch to play with my member is scratched while limiting this to within my 2 weekly cycle would not disrupt the experience we have created for ourselves.

Obviously, we wouldn’t stick strictly to the timings, but it works. That’s our perfect harmony.

…..

Now I can forget all that and continue to ponder how my wife has decided this game should be played… just a few more days before I receive her Christmas present.

 

It sounds terrible!
Honestly, I don’t think it would work for us… chastity is still very new to us (I mean two years isn’t that long…) and she’s still getting her head around it.

No, really. We’re in a good place. I don’t think we’d need it.
I’m also not sure it’s possible. Just spooning my wife right now and I can feel myself getting into the zone. I doubt my body will go that long.

Fortunately, I’ve become quite fond… and dare I say proud… That I’m a premature ejaculator

 

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Joy lies in the fight, in the attempt, in the suffering involved, not in the victory itself.”

Yet, this contradiction of a man also said…

“Live as of you were to die tomorrow”

So… if you were to die tomorrow would you find pleasure in the suffering? Or would you love your life to the full? Would you find harmony with dopamine coursing throughout your entirety?

Now that’s something we should all overthink about….

 

Oh, shit. I hope no one calls the chastity police

How does your spirit bond with another’s? Is this not the entire experience; where intimacy, sexual desire and orgasm all meet together as one? Why would you deprive yourself of that?

On the same line… you want all this, you believe all of those things… what are your wife’s beliefs? How do they intertwine?
As I said. I’ve had the fantasy and now we approach an arena of compromised wonderment. Do I need 3 months of complete deprivation to know of it? Or, is the sacrifice I’ve made enough?

What is the right way to practice chastity when you have the thoughts another on the same footing as your own?

 

That’s because some of us take care of Christmas in september. It pays to be organised people. Come on!!

 

joy
noun

1. A feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

 

I don’t think I’d die tomorrow. If I did I wouldn’t do this, no. Would I refrain from orgasm? Probably not either.

 

Firstly, although I detail my sex in a positive light, there should be no misinterpretation that this indicates that I get no joy from other areas of my life. That I don’t value my time and experiences with my family in the highest regard. This is not really the place to share those experiences.

To suggest I am a product of my time… you clearly don’t know me well enough. To suggest I am shallow because I don’t agree with totalitarian view that abstinence is key to finding relevant spirituality within life is just flat out incorrect….

What do you aim to achieve? Not by putting me down, that’s clearly an off-shoot of your mild superiority complex…

What do you aim to achieve through abstinence? Further to that, how can these goals not be met by experiencing pure sexual pleasure?
Is semen volume in the epidydimis really the key to Samma-sambohdi?

Secondly, I don’t wank into a tissue. I have an old sock for that!

This is where we agree… and slightly disagree too.

My wife and I have experimented quite extensively into this. I will 100% agree that the feeling of a full body orgasm is not through ejaculation. Where I would differ is in the opinion that the connection, although not relevant, is still apparent.

We have cracked the lid on Pandora’s box with this one. I’ve said it before, that when my wife pleasures me recently, there has been no goal of causing ejaculation… this is just a bi-product of the energy from my own orgasms. (I’ve had the same experience without cumming.) Complete, full body, overwhelming, couldn’t-even-explain-what-is-going-on-around-you, can’t-stand-up-for-an-hour sort of orgasms.

I ejaculate now, whereas I didn’t really before.

What I can say is this… I cannot get to this level whilst attempting to control ejaculation.

It takes complete relaxation of the body and mind and the allowance of pleasure to take its own path. Now that’s spiritual.

And Fuck, I love the dopamine high!

It’s all gravy. I appreciate the journey of others and what has worked for them. I appreciate advice. When I consider how I would balance this an integral part of my life I look at the experiences of others. There has to be knowledge for success… but we have to be open to changing and trying somethings different under our own unique circumstances

One size does not fit all, and I dare say your journey may lead you down different avenues than you first expected.