Good sources of Info. for a New Wife-Keyholder

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by SMLC, Nov 30, 2023.

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  1. SMLC
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    SMLC New member

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    #1 SMLC, Nov 30, 2023
    Interested in sites, guides, books to help introduce chastity-keyholding to a mostly vanilla wife
     
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  2. Caged4Sazz
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    Caged4Sazz My wife has become my KH

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    #2 Caged4Sazz, Dec 2, 2023
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  3. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #3 JaySaysYes, Dec 2, 2023
    I do wish we'd all stop sharing that fantasy.
     
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  4. Caged4Sazz
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    Caged4Sazz My wife has become my KH

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    #4 Caged4Sazz, Dec 2, 2023
    All you have to do is read a couple of posts by my lovely wife (KH) Sazz.
    Yes I've been incredibly lucky, but everything I've posted on here has always been 100% truth.
     
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  5. Wanderer
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    Wanderer Active member

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    #5 Wanderer, Dec 2, 2023
    I highly recommend a member of these forms with the user name "SMLC". They have exceptional knowledge of exactly what your are looking for and your existing relationship.

    Every relationship is different I recommend you talk to her and discuss what you like and what you think she will get out of it.

    If she wants ideas on what to do, I recommend you make a Google doc with things you would like to try or do.

    If you need more framework for your discussion perhaps you could download a few chastity contacts and highlight what you do and do not like about each of them.
     
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  6. VinnyDfl
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    VinnyDfl Active member

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    #6 VinnyDfl, Dec 2, 2023
    The problem is that all the books and sites are geared to attract horny guys by presenting a porn version of chastity. We have been at it for 14 years and no pegging or feminization. I had initially bought a few books for my wife but they all were geared to her being a Mistress and doing stuff that excites but are not practical in a marriage.

    What has worked for us is realistic chastity where we only do things we like and not try to imitate the websites and books geared to porn descriptions of chastity. Most never stick with it. This forum has only one person I recognize from years ago. Most try to do chastity like they see or read in porn and while fun for awhile, it is not sustainable in a stable long term marriage or relationship.

    A long time ago a BDSM couple gave us some good advice. They said to leave our sexual fetish play in the bedroom which is what we do. Of course I still wear my cage 24/7 but we only play in the bedroom during sex which is strictly for my wife's pleasure. Tomorrow's sex is massaging my wife and then giving her an orgasm. That is it. No feminization, no dominating me outside the bedroom, etc.. This is why we are still at it after all these years.
     
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  7. Littlejt1
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    Littlejt1 Long term member

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    #7 Littlejt1, Dec 3, 2023
    Agree with this sentiment… main thing is every relationship is different and things can evolve over time as well.

    Getting someone who is a little reluctant to try something can be tough which is why having a solid relationship foundation and open honest communication is key.

    As an example, my wife does enjoy pegging me, and while I play resistant to it somewhat, I honestly enjoy the sensations as well…not everyone does so to each their own, just like we’re not into the feminization/sissy aspect, and that’s OK too. When we first started 10 years ago, we didn’t have me wear a strapon for PIV sex, but now we do sometimes… again evolution in the relationship - communicate openly, try something new, if we like it it stays, if not it goes.

    As far as chastity is concerned, mine is a “permanent” situation (in quotes because it sometimes comes off), where I wear the cage 24/7 unless she wants/needs it off, or there’s a legitimate reason like a doc appt etc. I’m never allowed to have a full orgasm (at least until we get to the 1 year mark), but occasionally get a little ruined one. I LOVE that she has control. It’s exciting, frustrating, and a huge rush for us both. PIV sex (which I’m let out a few times a week for) is amplified in sensation and the no cumming rule for me takes some of that pressure off and allows me to focus on her, and even me in the pleasure I’m receiving as well, and training me not to think about my orgasm.

    So the point is, while you may get some ideas from any sites, literature, erotica or even on here, your journey is YOURS alone and you have to explore what you and your partner want and enjoy and can feel comfortable with.
     
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  8. Tracker1
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    Tracker1 Active member

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    #8 Tracker1, Dec 4, 2023
    Huh? What fantasy?
     
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  9. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #9 JaySaysYes, Dec 4, 2023
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  10. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    #10 littleguy3, Dec 4, 2023
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  11. Deleted member 109631
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    Deleted member 109631 Guest

    #11 Deleted member 109631, Dec 5, 2023
    Since you're on this site I am assuming you're past the part of having to be convinced as to why one would want to engage in chastity, and the benefits of it for a relationship etc.

    So I am assuming you're more interested in the how to's and beginner guides to chastity for length of denial, how to tease, how to punish etc

    Is that a correct assumption?
     
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  12. Shibmo
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    Shibmo Active member

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    #12 Shibmo, Dec 5, 2023
    I kind of like the posts from cuttothexhaste blog. He has written 3 posts directed at new keyholders. It is one of the few recourses that I could find, that isn’t a pure fantasy story, or involving other kinks.

    first part:
    https://cuttothechaste.net/your-husband-wants-chastity/
     
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  13. jobob236
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    jobob236 New member

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    #13 jobob236, Dec 6, 2023
    Great information. I shared it with the wife just now. She was looking dor information like this. So thank you for sharing.
     
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  14. madams-sissysub
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    madams-sissysub Member

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    #14 madams-sissysub, Dec 16, 2023
    This forum! It’s the best resource there is!
     
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  15. Aleks_ak
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    Aleks_ak Long term member

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    #15 Aleks_ak, Dec 18, 2023
    I agree with you!
     
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  16. SMS529
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    SMS529 Active member

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    #16 SMS529, Dec 28, 2023
    Thanks. This is a very useful site.
     
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  17. Aleks_ak
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    Aleks_ak Long term member

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    #17 Aleks_ak, Dec 28, 2023
    This is the best thing on the internet
     
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  18. newplay
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    newplay Long term member

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    #18 newplay, Dec 28, 2023
    I agree here is best so far. A lot more real ideas and how others are doing locked up
     
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  19. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    #19 Mr_anonymous, Dec 28, 2023
    I'd agree with here being a good source except for I get feeling she'd think I want to be feminized or cucked because I'm in a cage and freak the fuck out. The verified female kh channel is basically a ghost town as well.
     
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  20. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #20 JaySaysYes, Dec 28, 2023
  21. Caged4Sazz
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    Caged4Sazz My wife has become my KH

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    #21 Caged4Sazz, Dec 28, 2023
    I can also recommend the blog my wife started. We are new to the lifestyle and we are currently loving every aspect.

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/my-kh-journey.53397/

    She also started another one, outlining who being a KH makes her feel.

    She wrote both in the hope that they may help another potential KH to understand what chastity brings to a relationship from a female perspective.
     
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  22. Caged4Sazz
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    Caged4Sazz My wife has become my KH

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    #22 Caged4Sazz, Dec 28, 2023
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  23. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    #23 true42, Dec 28, 2023
    Yeah. There's a lot here that would freak most women out.

    Not to mention the fact that (like most fetish sites) you'll get an inbox full of dick pics as a free bonus for joining.
     
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  24. Vanillabusting
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    Vanillabusting Member

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    #24 Vanillabusting, Dec 29, 2023
  25. secretdan
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    secretdan Active member

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    #25 secretdan, Dec 30, 2023
    Thank you!!!
    I preparing to introduce my wife to chastity because of that happy marriage website. Reading through it made me hornier than I've been for a long time. It was the next day when I stepped back with a clear mind and realized the mere fact it made me that horny could be a red flag. I agree that it's filled with fantasy but it at least put me in the right mindset to finally get my wife onboard. Everything you said here is what I needed.
     
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