Someone asked on one of my journal posts how Chastity makes me feel. I do regularly say how much I love it, and the confidence it gives me, but I don't ever elaborate on those. So I'm going to try to put some detail behind the statements. In order to do that I think I need to add context. To the rest of the world I come across as very confident, in control and bolshy. They are my coping mechanisms, I often feel nervous in a new situation, sometimes in familiar ones too, and self doubt is common. I have no doubt lots of people can identify with that. I have a responsible job where I have to make decisions and that is tiring and can make life decisions harder. Add to that I am coming out of menopause, zero fun and anyone going through it has my complete empathy. I am just a normal gal and plenty will read the above and say, yup, me too. My relationship with my husband has always been good, he's been by my side through thick and thin. We've sometimes been on different paths sexually, and I've made compromises to help keep him on side. but, he has also had to change his attitude on occasion, though pre chastity I would say not as much as he could. I think that gives you a flavour of me without a full psychiatrist sofa analysis. When I read all the things about Chastity changing both the KH and caged I thought it was maybe 50% true. I was very short on my percentages, 90%+ is much more accurate. In all honesty pre Chastity I found sex a chore sometimes, it wasn't exciting, rather mechanical and not fulfilling. I never felt sexy and outside the bedroom intimacy was little. I could have changed that if I had wanted to but life was ok so there seemed little point. Now my husband is caged, sex has suddenly become exciting, because it's totally about me. And that sounds selfish, which it is, but it's totally true. I feel liberated, empowered and alive. All from a tiny cage. But it's what the cage does that changes things. My husband is caged, denied and horny as hell. So he behaves differently. He worships me. He tells me I look good, that I am sexy and how much he loves me. He can't do enough for me and goes out of his way to make my life nicer. That makes me feel incredible! Loved, valued, wanted, they are the greatest aphrodisiac ever! My insecurities have suddenly taken a back seat, this wonderful man makes me feel the sexiest woman on earth. I know I'm not, but I feel like I am, so I feel confident, strong, beautiful, and empowered. As a result I am a better person, and I make sure my husband knows how much I value his new behaviour. We're happy, like a young couple again, desperate to hold hands and kiss each other. It's truly intoxicating for both of us. He is happier, focused, calm. Granted he's horny, but he loves being in the zone. We both see this as our new way of life, neither wants to back to pre Chastity, and when we're having to leave the cage off we do all we can to live as though it's there. I hope that is a better explanation of the feelings chastity brings. And I hope lots of you are enjoying the same benefits and loving chastity as much as I certainly am.
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts. It's refreshing to read from a thoughtful person.
I bet you are (at least for him as my Lady is for me.) When I see women in sexy clothing I enjoy the view, but do not want them. I rather imagine my Lady in those sexy clothes. And I adore her. I could imagine your husband feels the same way for you. Thanks for sharing!
My lovely wife (KH) is so much more eloquent than me, but I thought I should add my thoughts to this thread. Sazz is just so observant, I could and should have changed my attitude many years ago. I was facing one way into a dark alley with no obvious way forward. Chastity has made me turn around and see just what was there all along. Never in my wildest dreams did a think that I could feel the way I do now. It's like the first time you fall in love, but with the added spice of all those years of experience. I never want to go back to the old me, and I know that Sazz will soon let me know if she sees any signs of that happening. Love her so much, and more each day.
Glad this is working our for you. For us it was a complete failure. As long as you are both getting your needs and desires met its all good.
You say, "And that sounds selfish, which it is..." I would like to respectfully disagree. If your husband asked you to give him an amazing gift like a new car, and you gave it to him. Would you feel as if that was a selfish act on your part? I don't believe you would. For those of us men that have discovered how amazing being in "the Zone" is: it is by far better than the feeling generated by getting a new car. The wonderful feeling generated by getting a new car wears off over time. The feeling of being able to please our lady, our princess, our queen while being denied does not wear off, it gets better and better. I know it is a major paradigm shift and one most women find difficult if not impossible to make.. I hope you can come to realize you are not being selfish, you are giving him an amazing gift that keeps on giving. And it keeps on giving to both of you. It doesn't get any better than that.
That is a great story! Me and my wife could have almost the same words, but you put it so nice! When I first suggested chastity, she saw it as really kinky, but said she would play along to make me happy. I wore a device off and on, but once I got used to it, I wore anytime we were apart and most of the time we were together. After a month or so, she said she was liking the "new me". For the first time since we got married 30 years ago, I wasn't masturbating anymore. We still had sex some, but only when she wanted it. She decided there was something to it and agreed to continue me using a device. I also learned, males won't die if they don't get to masturbate. I learned to save it for my wife.
I love memes like this. and But you add a really important point. Not only do I get to embrace my deep inner need to submit and serve, but I get to give my Wife what She deserves. And I get to live in the zone all the time.
I enjoy reading about your changed life. My Mistress and keyholder likewise has discovered the joys of chastity. She has recently began keeping me locked and enjoys the effects of my need to please her. We agreed that I would no longer masturbate or view porn, a huge step and time savings for me. We've installed an app on my phone that she now controls so that all my excitement and lust is hers. I no longer look at other nude women so she is my focus. Her beauty floors me every day. Good luck on your journey.
You may have seen the post from @Caged4Sazz following his big O on his birthday. I’ve taken my time to consider my views on what has happened as a result, and this is my findings as it were. I hadn’t actually planned to go as far as the big O, but when it came to it I decided on the spur of the moment to go through with it. I’ve had mixed emotions about it ever since. I insisted that he immediately put his cage back on, which I think was absolutely the right thing to do, but I did feel a shift in both the dynamic and the emotions following the O. I know that orgasms are different for men than women, and that they are often followed by a drop. I would say that a ruin is probably closer to the female orgasm, but I am no expert and I am sure that varies for all individuals. I think he enjoyed the event, though maybe not as much as he did pre Chastity, and to be brutal it was quite a mechanical affair, more about function than actual pleasure. But, it did change his behaviour. I know that was not at all conscious on his part, but that has made me reluctant to venture in to the big O land again any time soon. I would say that a week on he is almost back to his wonderful Chastity self. He does go on about having more regular orgasms, which I think is a bit of a teasing joke from him, but I do shut him down quickly. I’ve told him he has a way to go to get back to the “right” behaviours, but he is getting there. It’s the focus that I have noticed the most. He doesn’t always listen to what I am saying, which was always the biggest annoyance pre Chastity, and he’s a little more self-absorbed. Not as much kissing, but that’s improving, and not as much adoration. I’m not particularly hung up on these things, they are more observations, and I am correcting him as a good KH should. I think maybe we were in our first bloom of Chasity, that in itself can’t last forever, and I was a little sad to leave it. I have felt guilty for letting it happen, which is silly, and that is some of my own old insecurities being allowed to creep back. In some ways I think it was a good thing, the holidays are on the way and we’ll be with family for a few days, us being lovesick fools throughout that might have caused a stir. We’re working together to get back to the great things that Chasity brings, but now both a little wiser. I am still very much loving Chasity, and if anything this has made me realise how wonderful it is to be in that full zone. A very busy couple of weeks ahead as we move to the festive period, but I am looking forward to the space it will give us to reconnect and find the Chasity utopia again.