Why do you like being caged?

I feel naked when im not caged, i like my plastic ones cos they are small and enclosed and keep me tight and not able to touch my clit.
I like my metal ones cos they are heavy and a constant reminder that i am a caged husband.
I feel very submissive when i'm locked, add to this my fem wear and i'm in heaven, horny as hell but denied !

 

Yes, I'd say it is.

 

I've been with my wife for 25 years. For the majority of our relationship I've had unrequited desires to be dominant in a BDSM relationship. The wife just wasn't into being a submissive and so the dominant aspect of my sexuality was never exercised. I made my peace with that as I loved my wife for so many reasons other than kink.


As we grew older our libidos dropped and our vanilla sex life began to fade away. The intimacy was gone and I think our relationship was seriously threatened.

My libido practically vanished about 3 years ago. That, along with some other quality of life issues led me to consult my doctor, and we discovered I had hypogonadatropic hypogonadism. Essentially, I was making next to no testosterone.

More tests ruled out a pituitary tumor and I was prescribed testosterone replacement therapy, starting about a year ago.

Gradually my sex drive returned, including my kink desires, but with a twist. I found myself fantasising about submissive roles. I also became more bi curious than ever before.

This summer I finally plucked up the courage to talk with my wife about my new desires and thankfully she agreed to become my key holder and take charge sexually. She's not quite comfortable being dominant, but is growing into it as we go on this journey. She's come a long way and my backside bears bruises inflicted by her crop.

If she hadn't taken my revelation so well, I think our relationship would have failed.

Instead we have an intensity not experienced since our twenties. Intimacy is at an all time high and we're trying many of the things I'd like to have done to her as my submissive, except the roles are reversed and I'm on the receiving end.

For me the chastity, which we've been doing for about a month, including orgasm denial the whole time, has made me feel amazing. I love the feeling of being owned, objectified, humiliated (she told her best friend about my cage in front of me, talking about me as if I wasn't there), the ritual of fitting the cage and much more.

I'm more in love with her than I've ever been. I can't wait to see where this takes us.

 

I love being controlled by a woman and I love being denied.
It is so exciting not being able to touch myself.
I love the way it feels and looks.
It stops me masturbating and allows me to focus on other things.
It does feel secure and I miss it if I am not wearing it and want to get locked up again.
I am not allowed PIV sex and it is a constant reminder of that.
It's a form of commitment to my keyholder, she wears the key and it tells me she is in charge. So I am proud to be locked.
It enforces my keyholder's rules of not touching myself and of no unauthorised cumming.

 

We have been into chastity 14 years. While I am locked 24/7 except when I go out which is rare as I can no longer drive for medical reasons so my wife is always with me. Only go out once or twice a month as we are retired.

I am one of those guys who rather be denied than have an orgasm. Why? Well I spent the rest of my marriage in a poly triad with my wife's best friend which gave me a few thousand threesomes and two Mistresses to dominate me. I am not going to lie, it was great to have a threesome with two hot women then sex with each one individually afterwards. That is three times a night so thank you Viagra. The girls gradually stopped allowing me intercourse and oral with them. I gained weight and that and old age shrank my penis to half its size. The longer I stay locked up the smaller it gets. When I look at my first cage and my new one which is called "Baby" sized and now us a 41mm ring instead of a 50mm, I can see how everything shrunk. My orgasms in my 70s were not very good and I hardly ejaculated semen. Quick two seconds of pleasure, not intense though, and a small squirt and it is over now. Then I am not horny for a week.

Being denied makes me stay horny every day. Just the merest glimpse of my wife naked makes me grow in my cage. After all these years I learned to share in her orgasm. I am lucky in that my wife reaches orgasm in under 3 minutes and can have more until she physically cannot endure then anymore. Today she had one with her vibrator, one with my hand and one with oral sex. Plus a massage before and after her orgasms. Each time she came I felt calm again like I just had an orgasm too. My horniness went away and will stay that way until tomorrow.

Best way to describe it is that it is a long version of Tantric Sex. I like feeling so horny that I start to grow in my cage from her mere touch over my clothes or she takes off her blouse. She loves to hurt my nipples which I love since I am into S&M and have been for many decades. Our chastity sex life keeps us stimulated and eager for sex in our 70's while our friends of similar age do not have sex anymore. Even when we started a long time ago before cages were commercially available, it was very stimulating to give two girls orgasms only to be told I have to wait for permission to have one and was placed on the honor system. I think being unlocked and orgasm free was good training for a life of chastity and orgasm denial. We all know we can make ourselves orgasm even when locked in several ways so the cages we wear are mere speed bumps to give us pause before we do something we promised we would not do. However, I have about two decades of self control training so locked or not I just do not make myself cum.

This year my wife is committed to keep me orgasm free. I had my last orgasm over a month ago. My wife has no plans to allow me to orgasm anymore as she loves sex now. She gets multiple orgasms and the only thing she does is kiss me and torture my balls and nipples. She tells me to massage her whenever she wants and loves the attention I pay her since I am horny most of the time. I was used to 3-4 orgasms a year so it may not be difficult to go without any more. However, sometimes accidents do happen as we learned and best handled as no big deal and just carry on without planning for any orgasms for me. This time I will never be unlocked for sex and no more ruined orgasms as my wife cums so often that she is focused on her powerful orgasms and forgets to stop playing with my penis and I have a full orgasm. Then I have to start all over again getting used to be denied which I hate. So this year we are not doing any sex with me unlocked to solve that problem.

For us it works. My wife is bi and leans more towards women than men for sex. She finds women more aesthetically pleasing and gentler for sex and had given up on all men but me. However, I have been denied intercourse and anal for about 25+ years now. We cannot remember when was the last time I was allowed to penetrate her or her girlfriend. It was always the girls who got to come during our threesomes and my role was to assist them with some foot licking, kissing, petting, ass licking, etc.. Then we would do one on one but that was BDSM scenes mostly and I never was allowed to orgasm for our BDSM scenes. I cannot even remember what it feels like to penetrate a woman anymore.

So I did not really give up much. My sex life with 25 of our 51 years was masturbation when given permission and even that was while I was in pain which increased until I orgasmed as incentive for me to orgasm faster since the girls were not into it and just doing it out of pity. I am incapable of intercourse due to small size and ED that even Viagra does not help anymore. I did get to perform oral on my wife's ass and pussy today an it has been almost two years since she allowed that. Given that I will not be allowed to orgasm anymore she is given me oral as a replacement which is better than being allowed to masturbate as she slapped my balls or having a orgasm that was half ruined due to accidents.

To be honest I would not be doing this if I was in my 20's and 30's. When I was young I wanted as many orgasms as I could handle and had sex with as many as 5 girls at one time. Even had sex with three gay guys in my teens. If it could give me an orgasm I was willing. All in all I have had 30+ sex partners as men and women viewed me as better looking than I did. I also was in private schools for gifted students and have a good sense of humor. I was well known in my town for my athletic abilities, my rock band, and was one of the cool kids while most in my gifted classes were stereotypical geeks. I had two girlfriends at the same time when I was 11 and also organized makeout parties at that age that got me in trouble and resulted in a priest coming to my house to tell me about the evils of sex. Did not work and he left threatening to excommunicate me.

So let's just say I had a lot of sex and always had girlfriends but only loved three and those three are bisexual. Why? Because I was OK with them bringing women into bed with us or the having girlfriends on the side while allowing me to have sex with other girls. You can say I had a full sex life and now it is time to let my wife focus sex on her pleasure only and enjoy teasing me daily.

We do not do all the stuff you see in porn. Porn shows chastity as a part of a larger fetish like cuckolding when chasity can stand on its own. We never did chastity except as part of BDSM but chastity qualifies as a valid sexual practice in a BDSM relationship so it is not like cuckolding which does not require me to be locked up. I have watched girlfriends and my wife and our girlfriend have sex with others and I was never locked up for it. I did not find it arousing like it did in my mind when I watched porn. For us chastity is mostly just about orgasm denial and we have sex every weekend, when in our younger days it was several times a day.

I think orgasms denial in chastity eliminates performance anxiety which I got when I got ED and my penis got smaller due to weight gain. When I could not stay hard for more than a minute and my penis was falling out of my wife and our gf, it was time to adjust our sex life and that is where chastity came in and stayed. I was never into regular sex after I turned 18. At 19 I was in an open relationship for almost a year and basically a cuckold during the week servicing my girlfriend when she came home from a date. Yes, I did taste semen but she always made an effort to clean up so it was an actually nice tasting mixture of her lubrication and the remnants of seme. On weekends I had sex with other women while she went to her girlfriends house in another city to have sex with her and her friend's submissive boyfriend.

Let's just say I had a very full and fetish filled poly sex life and now in my old age am willing to forgo orgasms because my wife says I owe her for allowing me to have sex with all the girls she brought home while she only had full sex with only one other guy after we got married and did not like it. That is when she learned she is bi. She is fine with me but does not want another man no matter how much I am OK with that.

In the end the deciding factor was after we moved away from our girlfriend and then learned she could not move with us as planned, my wife lost interest in sex even with me. Does not find a penis attractive or arousing. Treats ejaculation like hot lead being squirted all over the place. Due to many surgeries over the latter years, intercourse would be painful so women were her preference. We ended up not having sex for almost two years.

It was then that I started to look around to find something she might like. Despite our unusual marriage and sex life, none of us ever visited a porn website before. We were living it so why read about it? We did not even know that what we had was called a poly triad. Heck, the girls never said they were bi until their late sixties and I goaded them to acknowledge it by reminding them of the 3000 times they had sex with each other.

Although we had tired everything in Fetlife, including the yucky stuff like toilet sex, I always thought chastity was stupid as I wanted more orgasms and not less. However, it wa the only thing we never tried out of the fetishes most often seen online. We started it as we were unknowingly doing it in the past, under the honor system. Then that lead to be suggesting a cage so that I could be denied longer and each year I got less and less orgasms until I was on a schedule to get 3-4 a year for the last few years. Hard to be exact due to ruined orgasms going too far and not keeping count.

The only thing this time is that my wife wants to keep me orgasm free as she is have lots of orgasms and massages now and really never did much to me anyway since she is not into penises. It was always me jerking off while she tortured me sexually. Rarely did she make me orgasm unless it was a ruined one gone too far. Not fun to jerk off for a week orgasm and then endure the 10 days when my hormones urged me to orgasm. Nature's way to pass along my genes. Those initial 10 days are a killer an not worth re-living them for a two second half assed orgasm with a limp small penis. Much better to be always horny. Makes me find ways to channel my sexual energy into other pursuits. I learned to play the guitar in the last three years. Before that there were other hobbies I got into to engage in whenever I got horny and needed a distraction. So it has been positive in the respect that I got to learn new things to enjoy.

Yet, never say never. As I learned in my decades of fetish play, there are no rule books despite many websites and porn telling you how to do it and fetish sex is better and lasts longer in my life when it is flexible to changing life conditions. In our case it is old age and the problems it presents. We just went through a few months of no chastity play due to two surgeries for me and a lung cancer scare for my wife which involved lots of tests and biopsies before it was found to not be cancer. Se we just got back into it after about 6 months of little to no sex at all due to medical issues. Plus I had gained 100 lbs and was grossly fat. My penis was mostly inside my body and my wife just flat out told me that she was no longer sexually attracted to me. So I lost over 90 lbs. and now she finds me attractive again and so we restarted chastity since she still is not into penises.

What works for us may not work for others. What we learned after a marriage built on non monogamy and fetish sex is to confine our fetishes to the bedroom as much as possible and live the rest of our lives normally to whatever extent we could. I am not her slave. I am in charge of our marriage mostly because I am more qualified to lead our marriage it makes sense for the person more qualified to lead the marriage. However, we lasted so long because we never did something that the other was against. We either compromised or did not do anything unless we both were OK with it. We do not advertise our fetishes outside of our house. It is ridiculous to try to feminize me as I am one ugly women and very alpha. I am not anyone's slave even though my wife or her girlfriend would whip me blooding, put cigarettes out on the head of my penis, choke me, kick my balls, etc.. When we were done I was the alpha dog in our triad but they had two votes to my one so it worked out and avoided any problems. It is stupid to say your husband or wife should lead the marriage due to a fetish you are in. It should always be the most qualified person that leads the marriage even if that someone is sexually submissive and locked in a chastity cage.

This is why we were able to have a great sex live doing just about everything you see in porn. We never let it interfere in our non sex life.

 

We both enjoy being super horny.

 

Being Self-Locked:
Being unable to masturbate.
I think about it all the time.
It feels great on my little clitty!
It makes my little clitty look cute!
I feel secure and fully dressed in one.
Nocturnal erections are held firm and stopped.
The sense of mystery when caged.
My small penis just belongs in one. (Along with panties of course.)
Felling like a little girly sissy.
Keeps me horny waiting to be let loose.

 

I like it as a bdsm fetish because I don't particularly like it. I've obsessed about femdom since my first feelings of my own sexuality. Of course never came to realise it fully through previous relationships. When I met my current gf i had put my bdsm desires on a backburner... but she is the only girl who has ever ejaculated... a lot ... when i gave her oral sex. The flame of bdsm desires were lit again. Chastity was off of both our radars, although we both discoved we liked femdom (that was a sweet, gradual but rapid escalation discovered while we played). We did bondage, pegging, pain play, etc. But nothing was ever enough for me. She didn't give me enough or I safeworded too soon and regretted it because I didn't have one of those red bums I know is possible in porn or panicked when the knuckles went in. When we discovered chastity (how dare that kink have eluded me?) obviously I was instantly obsessed and turned on by the idea of it. But I don't really enjoy it minute to minute. It's been a journey but now she loves it and demands it within our own boundaries. So this is one where I can't say she's not giving me enough. I obviously obey and co-operate because we have a rather complicated system of long-distance/ keybox lockups and lots of days with each other. I have constant doubts whether I want this full time, she does not. So here is a kink where she's giving me exactly what i want(ed?) maybe a lot more than i wished for. A kink that is delivering that full pain/ pleasure/ frustration/ humiliation need and desire... no wonder we are scared to scare off vanilla females, it's so inexplicable. It's a kink and a femdom control that is overwhelming and scary over the long term and not particularly pleasant much of the time. It's bigger than me now i've surrendered to it completely. That's what I love about being in chastity.

 

Because it pleases my madam, it makes my madam happy for me to locked and restrained for her.

 

I am not large by any means where it matters however, I have always been gifted at bringing my partners to orgasm. I am very kinky and never met a partner into the lifestyle I am into.
This has led to me discovering porn and developing greater dependency on kinks to satisfy my desires.
My wife is very vanilla but sometimes will play along with my fantasies with dirty cuckold talk etc.
It was not always this way with her, before marriage we use to have sex in public, anal, oral, sex toys and I thought this is the 1. Marriage stopped all the fun and we just had regular missionary sex.
A number of times I have tried to spice things up but no real success, then I surprised her in my cage and our journey has been slowly getting better. Not where I want to be but better than it was.
She has started to communicate more and slowly becoming more dominant which is 1 of my desires.
So, devotion to my wife, to be dominated and controlled, the way it feels and reminds me that she is in total control and mostly to be constantly horny waiting for my next orgasm.
Whilst I hope to never be 24/7/365 denied if my wife wants this, I am certainly willing to travel down that path.

 

Same here. My wife first thought it was too kinky, but willing to try it. She enjoys not having the pressure of me asking for sex and can control when we do have sex. One rule is, I never ask for sex. I agree with number 3, it is strangely comforting when locked up.

 

Could be a combination of any or even all of the above Its different for everyone and even that changes over time.

I started out wanting an orgasm the same day as I was first locked and have move on.. evolved progressed whatever you call it to where I am now at a point where although the cage is not sealed shut permanently for all sorts of sensible reasons I would be happy for it to be.

 

Exactly how I feel

 

It’s a great question and probably many reasons, for me, I love to feel it caged in its small cage, reaching down and feeling the steel never feels less exciting and waking up with the cage preventing an erection is an addiction I crave more and more.
I’m not interested in a brief orgasm when frustration is so good and grows day on day, if I had to cum I would be really disappointed and sad, having to start again.
I did take my cage off a couple of months ago, but within days I knew something was missing and I did feel naked not being locked up.

 

I can relate to the not cumming as I've always enjoyed cumming but not low after. I think I've always preferred the build up to the actual release

 

I like being caged because it allows me to be completely vulnerable. I’ve given all of me and control of me to Her completely.

 

I’m only unlocked when Goddess wants to use me.

 

When I was younger I often thought that life would be a lot simpler not having the male libido. The cage has given me that, I now can focus on other things.

 

That’s how my cage works too

 

I feel my libido is still there and not released. That is one of the things I like

 

I wasn’t a masturbator, I don’t have a small penis, we don’t do cuckholding, I am not into cross dressing (except having to wear bikini panties )
At least they are super comfortable! Lol

I am addicted to tease and denial, and having fewer and fewer orgasms, I love wearing the cage and I do feel strange when it’s off even for a couple hours now. My default setting is locked, basically 24/7, only out for doctor appointments or obviously for when my Wife wants to use it or tease it.


We started four years ago and it became a serious way of life for us the last two. We’re both addicted to it, the power swap after 28 years of marriage with me being the more dominant, now I serve her. It’s been amazing letting my submissive side out and it’s to the point where I prefer ruined orgasms over full, it makes me so excited when she denies me and teases.
I was forced into early retirement from a work industry in 2014, so our roles started changing then, I became a stay at home dad and house husband. I always helped with chores before while working full time too, but then I took over everything around the house. The problem I started having was that we always had a very active and kinky sex life, 7-10 times a week sex, but once I was home all the time, my appetite for kinkier sex had time to grow. I’d have so many ideas and would drive my Wife crazy when she’d get home from her job as an RN. That led to me finding cock cages and going down the rabbit hole of enforced male chastity.
Everything about it just made perfect sense to both of us, the way it fit with our changes in regular life, it was the perfect addition for our sex lives. It took my Wife about two years to be totally comfortable in her dominance and control, losing her guilt over denying me orgasms and not allowing piv every day, slowly weaning me off that to just a handful of times a month as an average. She wasn’t crazy about oral sex before, viewed it as just foreplay, but as we went along she knew it was a great way to keep me locked and still get her daily orgasms. Now she loves it!
I am completely addicted to this way of living, serving her, pampering her and making her life easier. It’s extremely fulfilling to my soul! My pent up sexual energy gets used to make our lives better instead of possibly being tempted to jerk off or obsess over bdsm things to try on my Wife and adding pressure on her, now she decides what happens and when and for how long and I stay always ready to caress, kiss her body, massage her, give her pedicures and make her cum every day.

I get plenty of teasing, physical and mental from her, she will spank and peg me a couple times a month and has said that’s a goal of hers to up the frequency of both. I am very content with the way our lives are going and can only see things getting better as we go. We’ve talked about possibly only giving me a full orgasm every 2-3 months next year, and she’s attempting a trial of that by having me go from now through the end of January till she gives me another full one for my birthday trip we’re planning.
Neither of us want to go back to “normal” sex lives again.

 

Not literally takes it away but certainly controls it .

 

I'd like to thank everyone that is contributing to this thread. It's been quite illuminating.

Over the last year and half I've grown stricter than I could have imagined, and think the results are wonderful. But it's also been a little mystifying to me that hubby continues to go along with it, even prefers chastity. He doesn't talk about it much. The replies here are giving me a lot of food for thought, and a few seem to line up pretty closely with things I've observed in hubby. So thank you everyone for being so open!

 

Being caged has stopped me masturbating on my own, not done it on my own for maybe 6 months, i only get to masturbate in front of my wife, when she allows it, she lets me masturbate when she has her wand on pleasuring herself, the movement of me on the bed masturbating at the side of her turns her on. She sometimes wants to race, if she cums first then i have to stop and dont get to cum, and visa versa, but 9 times out of 10, she'll cum first denying me my orgasm, funny how i dont mind being denied one of lifes great pleasures !!