How real is your chastity experience

I'm not the person you were replying to but I don't find willpower and self-control sexy. I agree with @steph17 that if willpower is enough you wouldn't need a cage in the first place. Just do the honour method. The thing is, yes I would have enough self-control to not cheat (to some degree at least) but it's not arousing any more once I know it's actually me in control and not her. That might be different for you and I actually envy you for it because it'd mean I wouldn't chase the impossible (a secure yet comfortable device without piercing)...

 

What a lot of tosh, if you can get out when you want out then you are locked in chastity at your own behest,
That is called self locking.

 

It has been said by many before me. The fact that the cage prevents the full erection process can, for some be enough of a deterrent. There is a process one has to go through to masturbate. If it is free to fully rise the temptation to play is far more intense. I applaud those guys on the honour system. Personally, I need a barrier. You need more of a barrier. They are all equally valid and "real".

What do we mean when we say "real"... surely it's not a term that has any relevance. All that differentiates between us all is whether it is a full-time thing or part-time and how and how often we are allowed to come. The @Tom Allen denial scale is far more of a gauge as to how "real" or "full-on an individual's chastity experience is.

Someone might as well tell me my chastity isn't real because I'm not pegged and forced to wear panties.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking for that device too. Lol. The idea of it is fucking hot, of course, but I'm not going to let it define my experience.

 

Self locking is better defined as those who's partner does not want to be involved and singles. They still deserve recognition.

 

So you didn't choose this? You are an unwilling

 

We talked about it at my offering, then we went in to it with the understanding that once the choice was made there would be no further negotiations, if it comes off it will be Her decision, this is where you need to be real about the device you are caged in, not a case of promising I wont touch but I cant touch, chastity only gets real when you want out but cant get out. read the instructions before you start ?

 

So sayeth the High Preist of the Church of Chastity.

All Hail his Imperal superiorness! Death to all usurpers, may all thier cages fall off! Mere Mortals!

You do amuse me with your holier than thou attitude.

I think it's great your mistress, if that's the honorific you use, and you went through a beautiful meaningful ceremony, I'm very pleased for you, but that does not give you the right to define what is real or not from atop your pedestal. You define your own chastity and let others define their own.

 

Ditto. If I can get out when I REALLY want out, then what's even the point of locking something onto my dick if not just for the low stimulation of a cock ring all day?

 

I'm not pierced and I can pull out. I agree with the person who said intentionally* pulling out would feel like sexting with another woman, like I was cheating, and I don't try.

But... I would still like it to be more real. I do think a piercing making pullout impossible would be a psychological boost for me, even if I'm already committed to not intentionally defeating the cage. So far, that's not something my wife feels we need, she's comfortable with a "willpower only" situation and doesn't need to feel the absolute control of no option for me. So she's against a piercing at this point, and, well, it's her cock, not mine now, so she makes the decision.

* i never intentionally try to pull out, but sometimes I accidentally do and I hate it. Very uncomfortable and unpleasant stuffing everything back in.

 

Here’s a thought… if you have a piercing and locked in or don’t and choose to stay in… in either case could you not hold a vibrator onto yourself and force an orgasm?
Fail to see how one is better than the other in this case…

 

First, here's something to consider:
There is no such thing as an inescapable chastity device.

That said, it does not mean that the devices are worthless, or that we might as well not wear anything. Just like there's that "caged" and "denied" scale to being locked up? There's also and emotional/mental aspect, and a physical aspect to being locked. Back in the day, guys with metal cages used to say that being locked in plastic wasn't "real." And guys in full metal belts used to say that cages weren't "real." Pierced guys say that any other way isn't "real" . Meanwhile, guys that say "Only my mistress allows me to come. Those of you who wear cages aren't doing it right."

All of you miss the point.

https://vanillaedge.wordpress.com/2020/04/17/consent-and-sensibility-2/

 

Why put a lock on your door when you know a thief can go in through the window?

Why get married when you know you can still cheat?

Why stay in your lane when you can cross the painted line? Why bother stopping at stop signs, they are merely symbols?

Why use money when you could just steal what you need?

What are the repercussions of violating what seem to be physically arbitrary 'social agreements' between people?

I agree the ultimate physical restriction is a cool concept and could provide quite an experience and certainly don't want to diminish the significance of it...totally get it.

But at the same time, we have social conventions we adhere to because we know we will feel better and benefit for having followed them and they benefit the larger group that we value (e.g. family).

In cheating on a commitment (like marriage), you would know you cheated and this would harm you, as much or more than anyone else. It's breaking a contract, an agreement and a commitment made to hold yourself to a standard. You have to live with it, and it devalues the commitment and relationship.

And even being physically locked beyond your control, you could still 'cheat' on other aspects of the relationship and your commitment.

I totally dig the idea of that level of being locked, though. At this time it's not a priority for us and don't have a need for it. But who knows, that may change some day.

 

Ours is not 24/7, but we are working towards more locked time. Work, grandkids, and life is a part of it. We are still working through comfort issues, so until that is settled it won’t be full time.

 

This says it well.

 

Well said

 

Doesn't make it less real when you are playing... Good luck settling in. I was lucky with the HTV4 being comfortable right away, and eventually found the perfect steel open cage in my profile pic.

 

For those holier than thou individuals, ask this- if you know where your KH keeps the key, is it real? If you have an emergency key, is it real? If you know how to pick a lock, is it real? Your PA is set with a security screw that a semi-novice with tools could unscrew in minutes, is it still real? I mean seriously, what a dumb rabbit hole to go down.

 

Could I pull out of my current cage (I don't have a PA), to be honest, I don't know, I've never tried. Even though I have had several months of being unlocked over the course of the last year, I never resumed masturbating, so I know that I have the self-control thing down, but I did get full erections during that time and I did give myself a few strokes here and there in the shower (not even close to edging let alone cumming). So that's what freedom looks like. I prefer to be locked, it's a constant physical reminder of my situation. I don't get full erections while I'm locked, so that is a sacrifice. My wife decides if and when I get unlocked, and if and when I come. That is my reality.

So, some of you don't think my "real" is as real as your "real", ask me if I give a fuck! How I do my kink is none of your business, anymore than how you do yours is any of mine. CM is supposed to be a place where we respect each others kinks and each others differences. So those of you that are way up high on your high horses, I hope you enjoy the view from up there.

 

Even if we invent a completely secure fantasy cage that can never come off without the fingerprint of the keyholder... If that keyholder releases you for sex twice a week, every week, will you still claim your super secure chastity is more real than someone who might only come once or twice a month or less?

What makes chastity feel real is the denial aspect. The longer denied, the hornier you get, the more real it becomes, and by real we mean "I Really want a wank right now, but I can't" for whatever reason. Those moments when you question why you're doing it to yourself, then the resolve to get through knowing it's what's best for you.

Those with the PA need resolve too. The same resolve not to end the dynamic, which as we are all consenting adults here, we have that choice.

I could not go back to the days when I only cared about my orgasm and pressured my poor wife into sex. I go with her rhythms and know I'm better and happier for it.

 

What a load of shit I read here, you either want locked and denied, or you want the pretense of the situation and that is up to the individual, but people know the truth about there situation.

 

Don't know what it's like for other people, but a caged orgasm isn't entirely pleasant. It feels like the pipes are compressed and things can't really flow. After it's over, it still feels like there's cum stuck in my shaft and I find that rather uncomfortable. A while later after the attempted erection goes down, a couple globs usually drain out.

 

For me, while caged Os are not great, they're still better than nothing, so I guess not everyone experiences them the same way.

 

This sounds interesting can you explain more and have you a picture of this ?...thanks

 

You are the only one unable to express himself. And unable to counter the arguments put before you without resorting to expletives, fuck...not that I mind that, but "What a load of shit"....it's hardly a response at all, it's like trying to win an argument with your fists. It must be lonely up there in your ivory tower.

I get it... PAers are very invested in this particular view of their (Not there) caged life, and you feel that admitting that in reality they are just as capable and within their rights to take their cages off diminishs it for you. It's all about the narrative we tell each of ourselves. What's right for you is wrong for someone else.

You're like one of those flat-earther's when they're refusing to see the mountains of evidence that the world is a sphere, because it doesn't fit in with your own life. I can imagine you believing in lizard people too.

The point is, that you are right for you, but not right overall. Or even in a majority, which still would not make you right. Two rights don't make a wrong as they say. There's room for both opinions to exist together. Both real. Both denial. Both Chastity. All good.

 

Here is how it works.