No P.I.V. Embrace or Hope?

Have you been denied by mutual agreement? Or at least by virtue of your agreeing to be permanently locked or denied? Or at least, indefinitely denied?

 

I think it would be sad to loose hope.

While Id love my partner to enjoy immensely a simulated penis that was larger than myself, and the idea of being replaced is arousing, to loose hope of never feeling those warm muscles clench my shaft during her orgasm again i think would be too much to bear even if it was just for a treat every now and then.

Maybe to remind me of the sacrifice I made for her enjoyment. Right now I am a 9, 1 on the scale for the last 9 months, IE I am only uncaged for about half a day per week (sometimes it can be 2 weeks), but almost never denied (I have been but cant remember the last time).

So even though I been messing with this stuff for 14 years I am a beginner compared to you guys.

 

So many times I see on this site questions like this. I think it really does drive the concept of male chastity further away from mainstream acceptance. In my opinion most of it starts off one way and then people head down a rabbit hole that ends up with a bit of psychological manipulation and mutual "acceptance" that turns one person substantially in charge and the other person desperate. In the end saying this is the end of PIV or orgasms is basically equivalent to this is the end of hope. It's a really horrible place to be for a human being.

 

If you miss it that bad, maybe find someone that wants it from you.

 

If she feels there is a small chance in the future, and she doesn't want to rule it out then you are going to be in limbo?
Is all contact between you non penetrative?
What if she said a definite no piv for a year, then review?
Is it likely to change?
If not. Would it be better to know and come to terms with that?
Are there things you do now that compensate you enough so that piv won't be too badly missed if it was completely off the table? That give you some kind of fucking sensation.

 

I'm still not clear. Was there some kind of mutual agreement for this? I apologize for not remembering your back story.

I understand what you are saying. Back when we started playing with this, I i felt the same way. But in our case, both Mrs Edge and I have eroticized the idea of permanently denial and we both find it hot as hell. Maybe one day that will change, but we are going on five years of this and we both are enjoying it even more than when we started.

Mrs Edge and I both realize that what we are doing is at the extreme end, but we are both doing this with mutual enjoyment. Our situation is different from many others though. I too, see a lot of guys in relationships that to me seem sexless or full of humiliation.

I do not know what is driving Lazlo and his wife. Hopefully it is something that can be resolved.

 

I find that a lack of action often leads to depression. Obviously, I’m not talking about a lack of action in regards to sexual intercourse, but more so in the indecisiveness of the situation. You undertake chastity and therefore are accepting of the situation, you do also pose the question here and so it appears you are not happy.
Suppose in all I’ve just rephrased what you said here which is entirely unhelpful…
However, to become more enthused within the chastity lifestyle I think you need to take the bull by the horns to some degree…
Are the only two options to embrace lack of PIV or to sit waiting hopelessly waiting for things to change? Are there no further options? As the common approach goes on here, communication is key. Do you need to pose this question to your partner? You’re accepting of the lack of PIV but could she not be more accepting of your commitment to that. Is there things she could do that would help the situation?

Could this be achieved in some sense? It sounds like a workable dynamic or two involved parties to achieve.

 

The idea of "never inside again" is still hot for me (and for my wife) but that is because we have a mutual understanding and agreement. I'm not denied because she no longer desires me but because she likes the power and control it gives her, in addition to the idea that I am always aroused and full of desire for her.

And keep in mind that many women, especially when they get older, have pain and discomfort with intercourse. Some couple are "never inside" simply because it's too painful for her, so they learn to eroticize that denial and fun in other ways.

 

I fear I’m already in training for when this time comes. Inside for 5 minutes in 5 months (with the exception of when I’m numb)… it’s been an easy pill to swallow as I get to see the enjoyment she has in so many other ways. The discovery we’ve gone through in those 5 months have been so much more rewarding than filling the gaps with intercourse.

The idea of denial for no other reason than lack of interest… that sounds a whole lot less interesting.

 

If we live long enough then eventually we won't be able to fuck or orgasm.

So in many respects it is inevitable.

Practicing acceptance is difficult and very rewarding.

 

I do think about whether my wife's interest will dwindle during and after menopause, she worries about that too. I think as @Tom Allen says "learn to eroticize that denial and fun in other ways" is exactly what I'm trying to get across to her. Don't fret about it, we will be OK. Through chastity I'm learning that, if the worst should happen we will find new ways to meet each others changing needs. It doesn't matter how deep your FLR or TPE is or even if you don't practice any kind of kink ...If both parties needs aren't being met (to some degree) that's a recipe for resentment and failure.

 

We can't have PIV because my wife has gotten so inflexible over the years. Part of me thinks a sexless marriage contributed to that but her flexibility issues go beyond that. It's hard for me to understand, but when I see a cheerleader doing the splits, I tell myself I could never do that and it gives me some ability to empathize.

Because of her lack of flexibility and my lack of size, PIV never was super enjoyable. So we've been learning how to enhance our pleasure in other ways. It's hard for me to compare and contrast her orgasms because she has difficulty communicating how they rate from one to the next. But I've had the 3 most amazing orgasms of my life via her combination of teasing & HJs this year since we started down the chastity path. It's why I have no desire to go down the path of permanent denial of full orgasms.

When we cuddle together, we both often have the desire to feel & experience PIV despite our lack of success and pleasure in the past. And that is very HOT! It's kind of hard to explain. Just fantasizing in the moment is very erotic!

 

In our FLR, after menopause, PIV was painful for Her, so it was decided that our PIV days were over permanantly. At that time, She concluded that, since She is the Superior One and i am the submissive one, we should replace PIV with DIA (Her Dildo In my Anus) as our main sexual act. And, so it has been fot several years now. We have both adjusted to that pretty well.

 

Have you discussed in depth her resistance to PIV? Is it medical? Psychological? There may be some deep-seated issues that should be addressed with a professional. They can't be good for her overall mental health. And they are problematic for your relationsl health... No?

My wife and I are old enough that we may just have to agree that PIV is off the table. But with the restoration of our sex life thus year, we're really learning to explore each other's bodies and what pleases each other. Who knows... We may try to figure out the PIV dilemma in the future if we think it would enhance our intimacy.

 

Here's something to think about . Part of the "hotness" of being locked or denied is the loss of control. The amount of control given over to one's partner determines how "hot" it becomes for us... up to some point. But is being pushed past that point ultimately even more arousing, or is it a deal breaker?

A lot of guys want to jump into the Loctober thing. But if their partner pushed them into NO-vember, a lot of them can go along with that. But what about another month? Or three more? Or six? For a lot of guys, it's the loss of control that is the exciting part, and not the actual denial. This is why a lot of guys can handle some short, known term, but not an indefinite term.

However, if you can shift your own perspective so that the denial itself represents the loss of control, it's possible to eroticize a situation of "never again" because it represents the ultimate in giving up control.

This is where my own mindset has been, and it still gives me a gut wrenching feeling whenever I think about it. But as I like to tell Mrs Edge: it wouldn't be so hot if it weren't a little bit scary.

 

Without jumping the gun on this one, as maybe others will find other situations, my question would be why? Why is it the ultimate? Why is it so scary? Why do we seek such a simple act?

 

I wouldn't say it is "maleness" since orgasms are universal between men and women. I think people crave it because it is one of if not the best feeling to experience as a human being. I doubt there is one single thing a human body can experience that is quite as amazing as the feeling you have during an orgasm, especially a great one. That's why people reference things as orgasmic...

 

For me, I have to eroticize her denial of intercourse. That denial is the effective manifestation of my loss of control, and the demonstration that because of my masturbation I have become a beta male that needs to be locked in chastity. So I've essentially exchanged the eroticism of being a masturbator for the eroticism of being an erection-free and pussy-free beta male.