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Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Madam Darling, Apr 15, 2022.

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  1. Madam Darling
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    Madam Darling
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    #1 Madam Darling, Apr 15, 2022
    Hello. I am new here, and I've decided to drop in from time to time to gain some inspiration. I am currently in medical school, so I will be dropping in when I have a little extra time.

    My husband and I have been playing with chastity off and on for over a year now. We've got a Lori device with retainer ring and a My Steel belt. I liked the frustration the nub caused him, but he is still able to pull out of everything we own. The retainer ring is the closest to secure, but it is still very easy for him to sneak out and back in if he wants. I've been doing everything I can to keep him from getting pierced, but it looks like that is going to be the only way to keep him secure.

    At any rate, so far everyone here seems very nice, and I am sure I will be making the rounds!
     
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  2. StubHub
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    StubHub Long term member

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    #2 StubHub, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome to CM. Hope you find it helpful. You can get advice on potential of piercing from many here.

    Best of luck.
     
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  3. sissy veronique
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    sissy veronique Long term member

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    #3 sissy veronique, Apr 15, 2022
    Curtsey and welcome to Chastity Mansion enjoy your stay here Madam Darling
     
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #4 LesterBallard, Apr 15, 2022
    Hello
     
  5. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    #5 BarbCD, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome, and do drop by when you can. I gather from your post that your husband either doesn’t want to be caged (consensual non-consent) or just likes pushing your buttons by escaping. In either case, I am very interested in hearing how you handle his escapades.

    Love your avatar photo; very intriguing.
     
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    Junebug15 Long term member

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    #6 Junebug15, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome the banding Is interesting
     
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  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    #7 MissyB, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome to our community. I hope you find it helpful and enjoyable.
     
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    #8 DonnaSue, Apr 15, 2022
    welcoem to CM. I hope that you've found a punishment that's suitable for his escaping. It seems that there's no consequences of his betrayal of your wishes! If I did that, my no PIV period would be extended for a more! Just sayin!
     
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  9. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    #9 BarbCD, Apr 15, 2022
    Oops. My bad. I did not read your profile before I wrote the above. I understand now why you do not want him escaping.
     
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  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #10 Nicoftime, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome! Security was a major issue with my wife as well. Once it was known that I could pull it out the top, she had me make the piercing appointment that day and two days later got it done. If it helps, I don’t regret doing it.

    Hope to hear more from the two of you, good luck!
     
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    #11 Aspire02, Apr 15, 2022
    Welcome to the Mansion
     
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    #12 madams-sissysub, Apr 15, 2022
    Hi there and welcome to the mansion!
     
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  13. Madam Darling
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    Madam Darling
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    #13 Madam Darling, Apr 16, 2022
    Thanks, all!

    To be clear, I don't worry that he will escape. It's more of a requirement for me to enjoy the process. If chastity isn't inescapable, why use a device at all? That's kind of where my mind is on all of this. I want to KNOW he has no choice but to save himself for me.

    Thank you all for the kind welcome!
     
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  14. krystalasbaby
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    krystalasbaby krystalasbaby

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    #14 krystalasbaby, Apr 18, 2022
    Wow my Mistress would have to have me tied down too have me pierced.
    But welcome to the site i hope you enjoy it when you find time
     
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  15. SlaveBoy73
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    SlaveBoy73 Long term member

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    #15 SlaveBoy73, Apr 18, 2022

    I'm told that perhaps the only way to keep him inescapably locked is to get him pierced with a Prince Albert piercing.

    That will prevent pullouts (obviously). It also means that his cage can be looser and still inescapable which means longterm wear is possible.

    Truthfully though, chastity is a consensual thing so perhaps the only other method you might look into is hypnosis?

    Perhaps someone on here has tried this?
     
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  16. Guest 2684
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    Guest 2684 Long term member

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    #16 Guest 2684, Apr 18, 2022
    Hello and welcome hope you find what you are looking for. On the piercing have it done after it is all healed you will wonder why you did not do it years ago. Since I got my PA my wife has now added a jacobs ladder to her property
     
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  17. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    #17 latexbound, Apr 18, 2022
    Hello and welcome to the Mansion
     
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    slave_m Long term member

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    #18 slave_m, Apr 18, 2022
    welcome Ma'am
     
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  19. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    #19 Chaz69, Apr 18, 2022
    Hi Madam Darling and welcome, I just read your profile and see that you are using banding, you should be very careful with that, and personally, I would advise against it as it can lead to permanent damage. There is a couple here he went overboard with banding and it left the guy with a permanently numb penis.

    I'm surprised your hubby can escape from a Lori #2, I thought those were escape-proof, did you get the sizing wrong, perhaps? How is he able to defeat the retainer ring?

    As for escaping in general, I don't get it. Those of us in cages have agreed to this, so why would you even try? I don't know if I could escape from mine because I've never tried as not only would it be against the rules, but it might spoil the magic. I think anyone who is caught escaping should be severely punished so they won't think of doing it again. I'm not a fan of piercings personally, so I wouldn't want to make it so that I needed one.
     
  20. subhubandy
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    subhubandy CFnm loving sub hubby

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    #20 subhubandy, Apr 18, 2022
    Hello,

    I agree with previous comment by Chaz69 and others... just wanted to add that he could orgasm even locked in a PA secured device if he was determined to using a vibrator or other method...

    I look like to look at devices as tools for helping us achieve out goals...
     
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  21. Madam Darling
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    Madam Darling
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    #21 Madam Darling, Apr 19, 2022

    As stated in my profile, we both understand that there are risks involved. I do allow him to recover and I'll allow him orgasms during that time. I like to make sure everything is still operating as expected, and at times, I'll lock him up while he isn't numb, also.

    There was a bit of pinching when we first got the Lori #2 because of the ring, and I'll lock him in without numbing so that we can make sure there is no pinching or pain with the device before ultimately numbing again. When ordering it, she didn't want to make it according to his original measurements, which he should have trusted. He allowed her to talk him into re-measuring, and as a result, it's a little loose. If he lubes up, it slips right out, but if it's much tighter, I worry that it really will cause him permanent damage. It's a rubbery little thing when flaccid. We had the ring reduced in size by a local welding shop that works with stainless, but he's still able to pull out and slip back in with a little lube.

    I have no desire to ruin him permanently, but again, we know the risks. If he loses feeling permanently, we'll work with it. There is some part of him that would love for that to happen, and he's requested it on a few occasions, (I know it's just pillow talk, but the point is that we're adults making adult decisions about how to approach this in a way that we both enjoy). And if it came to that, we would just find other ways to make him moan when he's earned the privilege.

    I'm not dismissing the dangers of numbing in this way, and I would not recommend it for anyone else. But it's working for us right now.

    Lastly, it's good that the honor system works for you. But I wouldn't tie him down in a way that I knew he could easily escape, because that would mean he's fully volunteering for whatever I want to put him through. In just the same way, I wouldn't trust him for days on his own while I am out of town with a device that I knew he could pull out of. It's not that I don't trust him, it's that I shouldn't have to trust him. It's not that I think he should or shouldn't. It's that I know he CAN, and that removes me from the equation completely. Why would I even participate if I knew it was still up to him?

    He's not a pain slut at all, but we don't use a safe word, either. I wouldn't participate if we had one. He knows how to signal if he's being injured in a way that could really harm him. So we'll use one to prevent hospitalization, but if he abuses the safe word, he knows things are getting much worse for him, whether that's in the form of more pain, or it's in the form of me no longer doing any of this with him. And according to him, the best experiences are when he feels completely powerless. But there is always aftercare that he adores more than anything.
     
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  22. Madam Darling
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    Madam Darling
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    #22 Madam Darling, Apr 19, 2022
    The nice thing about the vibrator is that it has a detachable cord that I can lock up when I am gone. He knows that I will stop playing with him if I find out he's purchased another one to use on his own.

    I like to look at devices as tools for helping me achieve my goals.

    Why would I allow for the honor method if I don't have to? Why would I even participate if I'm still just asking him nicely to behave. If he cheats, we're done. If I remove the possibility of cheating to the best of my ability, I am empowered, and I am much more likely to enjoy myself through this process.
     
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  23. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #23 Nicoftime, Apr 19, 2022
    My wife(girlfriend at the time) had a similar view point about security, keys, and schedules. The security issue wasn’t so much she was worried about me cheating it, she just didn’t want the option available to me. Why wear the cage at all if I can just pull it out the top whenever I wanted.

    She was similar with emergency key. She said something once while I was out of town about having it, I explained that she would know if I tampered with the key(we had it on a note and taped). She said she knew that, but still, I was capable of just opening it whenever I wanted. She didn’t like me having that option. So now she has both keys.

    She doesn’t do release dates either. Her words were “I am the one in charge, not the calendar, If I want it off it comes off, if not it stays on, I’ll let you know”

    So having a need for control to make this feel real isn’t something strange or unusual, everyone handles the responsibility differently. Good luck to both of you!
     
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  24. subhubandy
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    subhubandy CFnm loving sub hubby

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    #24 subhubandy, Apr 20, 2022

    Thank you for responding. Seems you are into this and more serious than I assumed. Good for you both.
     
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  25. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    #25 Shepherdsflock, Apr 20, 2022
    Welcome to the site. It sounds like a piercing might be the most practical way to achieve what you desire.
     
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