My wife and I have played with chastity twice but it never stuck. I however am very keen. Problem is my wife seems very cool on chastity. I feel the reason is she doesnt see the benefits because she has no interest in the traditional benefits. When she reads about the pros of chastity all she see's is, 'he will cook' 'he will clean' ect, but she is a traditional lady and enjoys doing that. So my question is, other than doing chores what about male chastity benefits her, thank you
Will a chaste male be more prone to do those things…yes, I certainly wouldn’t lead with that though. Even without a traditional system in place, selling chastity with things you should try to do anyway can cause more questions than answers. In my personal opinion it’s the non traditional changes that are the most powerful. Priorities become more about her wishes. They may be subtle but they are noticed. Like instead of staying up and watching tv while she goes to bed, I’m more inclined to follow her, even if I’m not tired. Another subtle change is your attention to her. Yes it’s partly sexual, mostly it’s intimacy. Light brushes, soft kisses on her neck for no reason, compliments without warning, Sexually you become focused on her, her desires, her needs, and those become your fantasies. Some women feel obligated to go further than they would really like if they start, so then seldom start. Like, I love making out but then he will expect sex and I’m not in the mood for that. When locked in a tease and denial dynamic, it’s never expected or obligated that it ever goes further. She can relax and take it as far as she’s comfortable. It can feel like cheating when a husband takes care of his own needs. It doesn’t matter if she rarely fulfills them, it’s still hurtful knowing that he had to do that. It can feel like failing as a partner and woman. With the cage on, it keeps you true to her, true to yourself, and she knows she is the only one with that power. Trust and communication improve. They have to, it’s the main factors involved. Even a closed off stubborn shy fella will eventually share what he’s feeling, talk about what he likes, and truly listen to her thoughts. Trust and opening up, being vulnerable, that’s automatic when you’ve given such a part of yourself to someone. Good luck
Whatever she wants - that’s how it should be in my opinion. I absolutely worship M and want her to have everything she could possible want for and she certainly makes sure she gets that
she gets almost anything she wants. my gf likes to buy shiny things. I'm a much more practical person. (just don't ask about my tool collection). last night, after watching that cowboy tv show, we went to bed. lots of kissing and making out for 15 minutes or so. didnt lead anywhere. we both try to fall asleep. didn't work. she starts rubbing my hair. I roll back over start kidding her and playing with her below. I end up going down on her. she orgasms. we kiss a little more and I hug her tightly. she falls asleep in my arms quickly. she got what she needed and wanted. earlier in the week she mentioned she'd like a new mattress. do I agree? yes. needed? no. but in the next 6 months, maybe. I replied to her that we just spent $600 to get our pellet stove fixed. And Xmas is right around the corner.
Over the years, my wife has learned to love the control especially when it comes to sex. Like most people, she was taught not to use sex as a weapon which is the polar opposite of the chastity lifestyle. Once she understood that I was giving up control and she was free to do whatever she wishes, she became a fan. It took awhile as at first, I don't think she believed it initially but over time she became completely at ease and several times has said that we will never go back. BTW my wife enjoys housework to a point. I still get told to do certain tasks but for the most part, it's something she enjoys.
My KH tells me she loves knowing how much she's on my mind when I'm locked. Knowing that I feel her cage, that I'm in her control. I see all these similar threads of "how do I convince my wife of the benefits? Why doesn't she realize it'll be all about her pleasure?". Like @Locked in love said above, it's about control. Your KH needs to enjoy having that control over you. That's the key. It's not doing chores, or being affectionate, or going down on her a bunch (you should do these things regardless of being locked), it's that she has control over you. It's that you're giving up being able to jerk off every day for her. It's that you're giving up cumming when you have sex for her. That's the key (no pun intended) thing that makes it appealing to a key holder.
Based on what im reading is it fair to say that she wont notice the benefits right away? And that we might need to give it more time
The biggest advantage of all, which is rarely mentioned, is that with the man you begin to deal openly with your feelings. Think about how rarely you see men crying or admitting that you can't do something. That they are overwhelmed or that they just want to lie in the arms of the woman, because she is stronger than you in that moment. So the advantage is not always the tasks or the budgetary support. It is that you start to be much more honest with each other, because how else do you want to communicate what you would like to experience and she what you should endure or experience for her? But this is to be seen apart from chastity, it affects nevertheless so in every genuine top / bottom relationship. The chastity, however, ensures that sexuality is discussed seriously and also what you need and what you can imagine to experience. And from both sides, man and woman or woman / woman ... man / man etc. there are so many constellations.
My wife enjoys always getting her way. Without any hint of arguing, whining, or complaining from me. I simply obey. She enjoys my loving and devoted attention. And she likes deciding if/when we have sex, which most of the time means she enjoys not having to think about it.
What does anyone get out of indulging in a kink that's not their own? You see your partner enjoy it and know that it makes them happy. For some there will be many other benefits but really, this should be reason enough. If your wife has low libido or doesn't like PIV chastity could be a way out of having to do that while still keeping you sexually engaged.
I agree with @Nicotime! Its more about the relationship than just about cooking and cleaning. Open & Honest communications is the foundation of it and also among the best benefits!
If you make the chastity about her and not about your kink, what she gets out of it is never feeling guilty when she is not up for sex. If she just wants intimacy, snuggling or for you to just hold her hand, she can ask for that without any misgivings and know you will be more than happy to provide her with that intimacy. If you are locked she knows that you won't masturbate. You will happily wait for her to want to make love to you. It is a way of saying I love you more than my orgasms. I say this based on my experience last summer when Hubby gave up his orgasms because I could not be comfortable with sex. The love I felt during that period is what sustained me through a difficult time. I realize my situation is probably different from hers but I believe most women want the relationship to be about intimacy first and sex as a bonus. Your chastity cage can insure that is what happens.
"...a way of saying I love you more than my orgasms." Very nicely put! My KH always felt an obligation to physically reciprocate, and my first long term lockup finally allowed her to enjoy taking and receiving pleasure freely. It was really the start of her evolving from a top to finding her dominance (and on her terms, not the porn version). Check out the free preview of "Locked In Love" by Key Barrett on Amazon (the "look inside" preview) for a take on how chastity can improve relationships. He has a thoughtful exploration of what he calls the "barter system," where partners apply pressure, nudge, or even just 'behave' expecting sexual attention, and how this can undermine intimacy. Many guys find out the hard way that the "indulge my strange fantasy and I'll clean the house and be a good husband (especially if you wear a corset and heels and watch me do it)" isn't really all that appealing to many women, and can do more harm than good. Good luck and have fun!
There's a fundamental problem here, though. Not speaking for anyone else, but I go through about 3 different phases: 1) After sex, not terribly horny, but would enjoy rubbing one off. 2) After a day or two, terribly horny, should definitely rub one off. 3) (Would never reach this unless I were in traction at the hospital with 2 broken arms) Super horny, suddenly submissive and willing to do anything to please her, happy to be locked, and happy to stay locked. The problem is getting to #3. (And the cage definitely helps get me there, and it helps get me there faster.)
please you write lovley words and i think that all you write in the one in here was rigt and i wish i cud write like it.
i dose keep all Her house nice and clean and cos Mistress go out to Her works its all nice when She come home.
Bottom line is chastity will make him do whatever he can to make her happy. For some it’s cooking and cleaning for others its different. Those benefits have to benefit her otherwise she’s just playing along and she will get bored fast. There must be something that she wants more of, cuddles, massages, foot rubs, a well kept garden, could even be things like you dressing to impress her everyday and bringing flowers unexpectedly. Don’t ask her to write a list (thats more work for her) but pay attention to what she likes and that she’d like more of. If she hates you going out with mates maybe point out that your unlikely to want to leave your keyholder as much etc. also if she is a sexual person make it ALL about her everytime. If she has to unlock you when she’s done with sex it’ll get pretty annoying. Prepare for sex with no orgasm for you often. When she takes the leap and locks you for a short time, make it so she has second thoughts about letting you out. Do that a few times and things might slowly change.