Frustration

Sounds like she’s giving you what you asked for. It’s her choice if she wants you to make her orgasm or not. As for the chuck stuff- I don’t think forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do is a good idea. The theme around here is female led so it shouldn’t really be about what you want. Good luck

 

You are going to spoil a good thing by rushing all this. If she is up to role playing and pretend cuckolding, leave it at that for a while.

 

Avoid porn and all erotica and probably this site.

 

The fundamental point of chastity is that She is in charge of your erection AND her sex life. You get to do what she wants and learn about yourself, and frustration is part of that. Embrace it, submit to it, accept that she is your superior and that she wants you to feel this way.

 

If you don’t like it then you have to communicate your feelings to her. Communication is the most important part any relationship and double so when you add complexity to it like kinks or other people.

 

If cuckolding does it for you, tell her in Hawaii she has a two week hall pass to act and live like the independent women she is. Also suggest that you would like to forgo porn and want to make the cuckolding fantasy your porn while she is gone and if she feels like it help you live a fantasy as part of a relationship.

One thing you could ask of her is to get a temporary tattoo of a queen of spades or a hotwife ankle bracelet to wear so that could amp things up. Of course don't overly pressure her and conversely state if she likes the no porn front you would be more then happy to extend it post her return and also find somethings she would like for you to do.

Then I strongly suggest you work on your coping mechanisms for the span since you will go through a lot of emotions.

Lastly also ask her how much you would like to be communicated with sonce you don't want to nag her on her vacation.

 

take up a hobby

 

You could try to do some exercises. That will take your mind off from your pent up frustration. If by nothing else but by getting you tired.

 

I can sympathize with OP and I took up a hobby - it was designing chastity and chastity related products... lol testing of new cage designs is on hiatus for a few weeks though

 

Maybe a bag of ice, lol

 

At my longest this Locktober and desperate even for a ruined orgasm!

 

Frustration peak for me usually is around day 5, something that we just have to learn to deal with to go along with our fun.

 

Similar feelings toward cuckold fantasy vs reality
And she isn’t cheating if everyone ‘s compliant
Just saying

 

What a great hobby!

Look what you can accomplish if you take your eyes off the frustration. If your thinking about
fantasied you are being self destructive. Go wash the car, do laundry, paint the garage........
If she really wants this, you need to use that time to do the things that please her.remember
the brain is the real sex organ, keep it busy and you will do fine. Do it for her.Things will change.

 

The locking up is not about your penis but her taking control of her and your sex life. Once you accept that things fall into place. You are there to serve her needs when she wishes not when you want this is why you are locked up.

 

Your response was inappropriate. She controls your cock and your orgasms. Your orgasm belongs to her - however she wants it, whenever she wants it. If she wants to frustrate you until you're panting and on fire, you are not cumming until she says so. You consented to being caged and you're getting what comes with that. After telling her to be strong even if you beg, you almost got in a fight for her holding fast to your wishes. Selfish and disrespectful. You don't choose how she gets satisfaction from chastity. You're not thinking of her when you "want to make her cum," you're thinking of your own sexual titillation, satisfaction, and own frustrations. You don't control how she gets off. She chooses this.

Also, if she's not into cuckold stuff and would consider it cheating on you, stop bringing it up. You've said later on in this thread that it's your fantasy. If for some reason she did sleep with someone else because you're too sexually ramped up to think logically, you may regret giving her permission. Jealousy is funny like that, the reality after the fantasy can bring up a lot of emotion, and if you regret giving permission, you'll be dealing with blaming her and yourself.

Perhaps you two have a different of opinion between her role and yours. Communicate. What did you expect. What did you want. What does she want. What did she expect. Maybe you picked too long of a start window for being new to it. Locke and I started out with weekend chastity before increasing the window.

If you're truly sincere about having an FLR involving chastity, you need to realize that topping from the bottom and begging stops. She's in charge. She gets what she wants, even if that want is you making dinner and getting her flowers, without the expectation of anything sexual following up. You do it, because she's your key holder, she's your world, and you worship your world.

 

You are in the same boat I have been in for a year. Sexual frustration is just that...sexual. You need to redirect yourself onto other things. If you dwell on it you will drive yourself crazy. My wife has no desire to deny me anything but likes knowing that I can only get pleasure from her. But there are times I am dying to please her and she says no. Fact is you can't force her to let you. Sometimes instead of laying by her just getting more frustrated maybe you should get up move go for a walk anything to calm down. Then return once you have regained control. As far as cuck fantasies if she's not into it leave it alone. Let her do things her way. If she is willing to tease you about it be happy but don't push her to act. You'll hate yourself later when she doesn't like it.

 

I do stand by it though and you're not being personally attacked. You asked for advice and I gave my two-cents, as a keyholder. You got in a fight over the fact you couldn't do what you wanted to her body, for her own good, of course. You see how that sounds? It sounds not right.

Like I mentioned and others have noted, it does sound like you need to communicate about both sides of your expectations. That will clear up a lot of what you want. When you did your trial times, did you talk about what you liked or disliked each day or at the end of the period?

When Locke and I were first starting chastity, I had to make rules to get him to leave me alone. Literally, a "no touching" rule. He was like a fucking octopus or barnacle or something else amazingly clingy. It's the sexual frustration. But we had to talk about it all. Why he couldn't do those things. That's the conversation it sounds like needs to happen with your keyholder now. What you both expect to get out of this. Remember her interpretation is probably not going to be like yours.

 

I read through the thread and pretty much agree with you. Take the good advice and disregard the rest. Folks telling you what chastity is and is not is just a suggestion- although I don’t think they think that. There is no rule book, chastity is what you and your KH make it to be.

 

You must pace yourself and learn. You have much discovery about how she wants chastity for you. Take your time, and let her lead you. If you give her the suggestions, it is all about you, and not her, so you are topping from the bottom.