Honour Contract

There is a curious contradiction in my character. Ordinarily I have little will power. I decide I won’t have a cake at lunch and then I do. I won’t have another drink and I do. Typical male behaviour, I suppose.

However, once I really decide on something my resolve becomes unshakeable. Something switches inside me. It happened when I stopped smoking in my twenties. I ran out of tobacco one evening when it was raining and I couldn’t be bothered going for more and I decided there and then, “I’m going to stop.” I haven’t smoked since. I’ve always been on the portly side but, again, on two occasions in my life I’ve decided to do something about it and I did and lost twenty to thirty pounds in weight.

All of which is by way of preamble in explaining what I am doing.

Some of you will be aware I’ve been a regular here over the past couple of months, reading and chatting and exploring. It’s been a revelation. I’ve been examining my sexuality for a long time, specifically domination and submission. Originally, a switch, I came to realise that I am submissive by nature. I was on Fetlife, exploring the groups there, largely the ones focused on femdom and humiliation. But I came to realise humiliation wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted submission, but submission as an equal.

It has taken some time to work it all out but I’m getting there. My previous searches for meaning failed because I was looking for a sexual dimension. Everything was focused on my penis and how any possible interaction would affect it. The climax was all.

That’s not the way it has to be.

Over the past few weeks I’ve been chatting at length with a particular member on here, who has become my guide and inspiration. Under her tutelage I came to consider chastity as a desirable state. Not as a means to an end, a way of getting off, a source of delayed gratification, but as an aspiration in itself. Chastity. For its own sake.

I mentioned this to my guide and told her I wanted to rid myself of my porn and masturbation habit and she was supportive. I told her I had begun to feel that she was taking me under her wing and I liked that and, as a mark of respect I hadn’t masturbated for some days.

She was delighted and encouraged me to continue and ping! – that moment arrived when I became decisive and made a resolution. I would become chaste for my Mistress.

And that is what I am doing. I am eight days in now. This is an honour contract. There is no cage, nor any need for one. My Mistress has instructed me and I will obey. She told me last night to aim for one month. That was longer than I anticipated but I accepted and I am looking forward to the next month, in which I will give daily thanks to my inspiration and guide.


Thank you, Miss.

 

to be honest I find them uncomfortable, particularly at night. I can see how they are a potent symbol of our ownership by our Mistresses, but I know that anyway and don't need to be reminded of it. So I am happy without one.

 

I’ve now hit double figures for days in chastity. I know that isn’t much to some of you on here, but it’s the longest I’ve ever gone in my adult life, including when I was circumcised in my early twenties, so it’s a big achievement for me.


Overall, it’s gone smoothly. Easter Monday had its moments – a day off with nothing to do, creating ideal conditions for idle hands to misbehave, but a supportive message from my guide and inspiration was enough to overcome any typical male mental frailties.


In fact, I’m finding it easier than I expected. Certainly, there are moments when I get horny, but I can focus on something else and push it to the side. I’m reaching the stage where I’m enjoying it, and the sense of achievement is spurring me on. Every extra day makes me want to go longer yet.


My target is one month. I am certain I’ll make it.

 

Thank you both. Yes, on Fetilfe I found it difficult to have any sort of meaningful conversation where I could properly explore my interests and those of others, and the intersection where those interests might meet. A few weeks on here, and some stimulating conversations and some strong friendships and I feel much better able to articulate my thoughts and desires. Allen, I so agree, the brain is the root of all sexual activity. That is why I am loving this chastity - because all my sexual activity is being orchestrated by my brain.

I think I am very, very lucky.

 

Indeed! This is what I am aspiring to.

 

A bit of a milestone today, this is my second full week of chastity in honour of my guide and leader.

I will not deny that yesterday was difficult. I find weekdays easy because I'm at work or otherwise busy, but weekends are hard. I have spare time. I have opportunity. I got horny several times yesterday and the temptation was severe. But I persevered. In the end, I deleted all my bookmarks for anything porn-related, except here and Fetlife. That has helped. And today I'm doing much better. I've spend the morning working on my novel and got lots of work done on it.

One thing I was curious about when I started this was whether my scrotum would change. I've read people on the subject and they've commented on how swollen and heavy their scrotum became when they weren't ejaculating. I always felt that was unlikely. The body must expel the semen the way it does any other waste product. However, from about day nine onwards, I have to say it is heavier than normal. Not much, but there is a slight difference.

Anyway, back to work. I'm feeling good about this. Two weeks in and lots still to go.

 

Sixteen day and going well.

Tonight I've been very busy preparing for work tomorrow, so it feels like a free day on my total. At first I was a bit guilty about that.

But then I thought - sixteen days ago, would I have been so assiduous in my preparation for the next day, or would I have strayed into some of the murkier areas of the internet.

I think we all know the answer to that.

So thank you to my guide and inspiration...

 

it is always easier in the week, of course, because there are fewer opportunities for misbehaviour, but I have to say I have not consciously thought about an orgasm or release from chastity in the past couple of days. I am satisfied. I am happy.

 

So, I'm an hour or so away from three weeks in chastity. Three weeks of denial in honour of my wonderful guide and leader. I never thought I would make it this far, but I love it and I want more.

Thank you Miss.

 

So there we are. Three weeks into my adventure in chastity, three weeks since I orgasmed, three weeks under the instruction of someone else.

What an honour. What a delight. What satisfaction.

Every morning when I wake up I remember my vow of chastity and I immediately get hard. It is the knowledge that I have submitted to the will of someone else and I must obey her. This is what impels me. I do get moments of weakness but I only need to think of my guide and leader and that us sufficient.

I am chaste and that makes me very happy. I have submitted and that makes me very secure. I have promised and that makes me totally determined.

Thank you, my wonderful Mistress.

 

Today is day 25 of my chastity in honour of my guide and inspiration. It is a wonderful journey.

This morning I had an interesting experience. I've read about men in chastity saying they have nocturnal emissions and I've been mildly dubious, on the basis that I've only ever had one such emission in my life, back when I was a teenager. So would it happen?

After 24 days, the answer was no, and I was convinced that the body just expelled the semen in the way it does all waste products.

However...

This morning, I had not heard from my guide and inspiration in a couple of days and I was a bit concerned, truth to tell. Then I woke up at six am and checked my phone and there it was, a message waiting from her. Joy. Such joy.

I felt something as I turned to read the message. Nothing major, not any sort of orgasm, just something. I thought nothing of it as I started to read the message. But then I realised there was something damp on my leg, and I understood immediately that I'd had an emission. It was provoked by the message from my wonderful guide and it was clearly a tribute to her. I felt almost nothing, but there it was, my devotion to her.

It was quite different from normal semen. Much more sticky and viscous, more tasteless. Not the same at all. But undeniably that's what it was.

So I thank my Mistress and guide twice over. Once for ensuring I have remained chaste in her honour for 25 days, and second for inspiring an unplanned and unorgasmic emission. If anything exemplifies what I want to achieve in her honour, that comes close.

Thank you, Miss.

I would also say, after 25 days, my sensitivities are changing. Previously, I wasn't exactly horny, but I could still feel something of a twinge or an ache or something indefinable in my penis and balls. Some latent expectation, perhaps. Over the last couple of days that has changed. I feel an equilibrium. A satisfaction. A calmness. I like to think this is me accepting my chaste state and growing to love it. I am sure it's not a linear thing and I will revert and have urges again at some stage, but for now I am happy to know I have reached a higher stage of attainment than I have ever achieved or ever thought possible.

So again, thank you Miss. I couldn't and wouldn't do this without you.

 

Today I have been chaste for 28 days - four weeks.

It is a great feeling. I am very pleased to have achieved this for my guide and inspiration. She first suggested I go for one month and I thought it a daunting challenge. I thought I could do it but i was prepared for failure. However, here patient and caring support has meant it has been far easier than I anticipated.

Here's to more chastity.

Thank you, Miss.

 

Well, things have moved on.

My guide and inspiration set me a challenge of one month in chastity. I thought that was very daunting but if I'm honest it got easier as time went on, not more difficult. That's not to say there weren't moments of temptation, because there were, particularly over weekends. But I remained true to my honour contract.

The night before the month was up, two nights ago, I slept poorly and was awake from 4 onwards. My guide and inspiration had told me we would discuss what happened next when we next spoke, which would be that night.

I told her that my orgasms were her property and it was for her alone to decide what would happen next and I would comply with her instruction without dissent.

However.

As the day went on I couldn't get it out of my head. What would be her decision. And the reason for that is I didn't want to be released from chastity. If she instructed me to have an orgasm the I would, of course, obey. But I knew in my heart that would leave me disappointed.

When we spoke last night I waited for her decision, and I was left the happiest submissive in the world when she said:

"Another month."

So here's to month two of chastity, and I 'm still processing how happy that makes me feel. A month ago I wouldn't have believed, or even understood, that.

This is a new way of seeing the world. All thanks to my wonderful guide and inspiration

 

Today is my 42nd day of chastity. Six weeks since I last played or orgasmed. It's a great feeling...

 

And this is day 50 of my chastity in honour of my guide and inspiration. It has been a pleasure. I have come to realise that the momentary gratification from an orgasm is nothing compared to the ongoing sense of fulfilment to be gained from serving your Mistress. However much temptation there is, I just couldn't face having to confess to letting Her down and so I won't. Let this adventure continue!!!

 

I have now reached 56 days - or eight weeks - of chastity. I am both surprised and proud of having reached this landmark and I give thanks to my guide and inspiration for supporting me so well in this voyage of exploration.

Since I am not caged I still get erections. Indeed, they are encouraged. I have found to my surprise that they are harder than they have been for many years. Even the glans gets hard and that hasn't happened for quite a while.

What is most different, though, is the reasons for my erections. I do not allow myself to have sexual fantasies about my guide and inspiration, because that would be disrespectful. My erections happen when I think about my submission, when I reflect on the control I have given her and the chastity I have embraced at her direction. The mere thought of her dominance is enough to make me hard. And I love that. I love the feeling of connection with her it gives me. It is a mental connection not a physical one, and it us therefore much more powerful.

I am in love and chastity is both the creator and the product of that love.