Honour Contract

Today I have reached 63 days, or nine weeks, in chastity.

At some point my reaction to the numbers changed. Through the twenties and thirties days, the numbers got bigger and it felt amazing. Now, 63 doesn't seem that high at all. I think, at some point, I changed from thinking of this as an adventure to it being a way of life.

It is wonderful.

 

Today is my 77th day in chastity, or, according to my ticker, 2 months, 2 weeks and 2 days. Oh, the sweet symmetry of it...

It's a strange thing, this chastity. There's no real pattern. I expect to go through particular cycles - excitement, frustration, acceptance, horniness, temptation, resolution and so on, in a fairly linear way. It isn't that.

There are days when I simply don't think about it and others when I really do. And, while there is a correlation between horniness and inactivity - weekends, specifically - that's not the whole story. I can go weekends without thinking about orgasms and I can have busy days at work when I do.

All I can say, eleven weeks in, is that the horny days get easier to manage and the easy days come more frequently. So I guess that means I am being trained.

Now then, let's see what number I can reach.

 

@Rectrix, I have to confess I'm not entirely certain what I'm seeking. It's all a long voyage of exploration.

For a long time I was interested in D/s relationships, mostly as a submissive but sometimes switching. But I now believe that was completely inauthentic, and I was simply looking for ways to get my rocks off. So the idea of submission was simply a subterfuge for getting some sexual excitement.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. But as I started contemplating submission, it became unsatisfactory for me. It wasn't submission because I was looking to get something out of it. I had an ulterior motive. So it wasn't genuine.

Over the past few months I've pondered submission a lot. But not in any sexual way. In a purely mental way. In a way where I get nothing out of it. That is true submission for me.

So I'm exploring this new and strange territory. That's what I'm doing. I don't know if I'll succeed. Indeed, I don't even know what success looks like, so how will I ever know? But It is certainly making me think in new and creative ways.

Thanks for your interest. I doubt I've really answered your question, because I'm not sure I can!

 

Today marks my 101st day of chastity.

Some days I don't even think about it. Other days I think of nothing else. Odd, isn't it? It's a amazing what you get used to...