Hello! I am a 27 year old American Male from New York. My fiancé is 25 year old female. I have recently found interest in delaying orgasm and enjoying the feeling of being full. I started my research and found an entire community for people who can relate! Glad to be here. On that note, I have started mentioning to my fiancé that I want her to deny me from time to time. Play with me, but make me wait. Make out get all hot and heavy, even make me go down on her, but don't return the favor. After a long work week we had planned a dinner date. Before dinner she actually did just that to my surprise! She said she enjoyed telling me no after, seeing how badly I wanted her. Now I want to ask you guys, how do I take it to the next level? How do I possibly mentions chastity device or real denial over a few days with teasing mixed in? Would the majority of women cringe at this seeing at a source of weakness in a man not a turn on? I have read the proc and cons of both parties but initially, how do I make it sound more appealing?
Welcome to the mansion!!! You could start with just a conversation going over how wonderful it was for you to be denied. Then bring up the subject of a locked cage that she is in control of.
That seems like a big leap. I need to make it eventually but I want to see if shell take more or a dominant role without a cage first. Maybe she will see the benefits of denying me without a cage if you know what I mean. Then it could be EVEN BETTER if I can't masturbate even when she's not around. Or give her the idea that she's denying me and making me wait then let her catch me attempting to jerk off.....This leading to a conversation about more control and how guilty I feel for doing it.
Hi and welcome to the Mansion. There are lots of helpful people here, and heaps of very good information in the various forums. So have a look around and ask more questions. As @New to cage has suggested, a conversation about how wonderful it was for you to be denied is a way to start. In addition, you need to make it about her. You say she enjoyed telling you no. That is a very good lead in. Explore that a bit more. How did that make her feel? Sexy? Did it turn her on? Did it give her a sense of power over you? etc etc Use her own positive emotions around the experience to reinforce that it might be a turn on for BOTH you and HER to do this more often. [Note to self. Next time my wife tells me I am not going to cum tonight I need to explore with her how denying me makes her feel]. If your fiancé gets hooked on the positive feelings from denying you, a device might be the logical progression. But you know your relationship. What works for you and your fiancé is what is important
I think the two most used words on this site are communicate and honesty and for a good reason. -the footman
It sounds like she was into denial, I have noticed most women are game for almost anything if you ask them and don’t put any pressure on them. I think it would be really hot if my denial went further than the bedroom, if only you controlled even when I could get hard. Constantly arroused and constantly wanting you. When she asks how say there is a way to lock it up. If anything it opens the door to further conversation and let’s her know it turns you on. You could even buy a cheap cage and use it for a week and see if she likes it. Good luck
"Whoa there tiger" take it slowly. From one that has taken over ten years to persuade my wife that tease and denial is and can be a good thing, I would caution rushing in, but then I would say that. If your fiance is sexually active and even adventurous, you may, most probably will, have a much easier ride down this road, but I would still caution haste. I agree with @Pbare in that you must make it as much about your fiance as it is about you. What you need to do is to make sure that you give her reasons to enjoy or want to keep you that way. The more that she understands about how keeping you denied makes you feel and how much you enjoy her keeping you that way, the more likely she will want to keep you denied.
I would agree with the others...... take your time and make it all about her! What you want (denial), should not be the issue. You cannot get her to do what you want her to long term until it becomes her idea. What if you tried to please her in many, many ways - without being asked. When she realizes the benefits of your submissiveness and servitude, then she might take more and more control. But all of this takes time and work on your part. Give it a try. Nothing to lose, but your freedom!
IMO its only been one weekend. I would keep going with what you have working for a little while longer. No need to rush. Make a commitment to yourself not to masturbate. This will cause excess horniness which you can use to impress her. Spend more time doing things for her, making her feel how being denied has affected you. If she can feel the changes and see it as a benefit to your relationship then when the time comes she will most likely be ready for the next level.
If she told you she enjoyed denying you then the seed has been planted, and it should grow. But a seed germinating into a seeding and then a young plant can be stymied or even killed if you water it too much too soon. If she enjoyed denying you then she's into control. Go easy, let her dominant nature develop by assuring her its not only acceptable but is a turn on for you. Let her know that you will not masturbate or orgasm without her permission and in her presence. If she gets into all of this and is benefiting from it, then introduce the concept of a chastity device and how it can greatly enhance her control over you. Good luck.
Thank you all for the amazing responses. I certainly agree that the seed has been planted and I should allow her time to absorb this. I will try to make it very obvious that when I am denied I give more back massages and take baths with her exc. to show results. I honestly do feel that I think about her much more often when not masturbating and waiting for her. After 3-4 days however I have about reached my limit. Until I can get her on board with masturbation control through a device it will be the way. I can't imagine where it may lead to after 4-5 days. I certainly do not want to become moody or aggressive as some have mentioned is a major problem after that point.
i'm not a guy and it seems to me your asking the wrong sex for advice. first off, i'd be pissed if i thought my spouse was trying to manipulate our relationship. second, what happened to open and honest communication. third, by yourself get out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle on the front and back. on the front put down the pros on one side and the cons on the others side for you in this life style then flip it over and do the same for her. when done you best have far more pros( or weightier ones) for her than. you. if not then maybe you will need to apply more grey matter until you do. then your ready to talk openly. yes she might say no but then if she is going to be in charge no is a good answer too. then again you might consider asking her what would she need to go in the desired direction.
We have a very open and honest relationship. She is simply very vanilla in the bedroom and my fear is her initial reaction being that this is like midivil chasity and weird. I want to ease her into rather than drop a bombshell. I think it would be best to ask her to slowly take more and more control and see if she likes it.
I agree. You could get yourself something basic (e.g. cb6000) and ask if she'd be interested. I do think though that if she does like the idea you're better having a device of some sort. Denial without one can be very problematic as unable to check up on this!
So I purchased the locked in lust and it works wonderfully! After weeks of not talking about chastity she says I think Im going to lock you up tonight. I replied "oh are you?"....We played around in the shower a bit and she didn't mention again. She climbed into bed and she didn't grab the cage. No action that night. The following day she had to work and I was off. I caught her off guard in the morning while she was getting ready and put the cage on myself. Went to give her a hug goodbye and slipped her the key and she had a big smile on her face. When she got home from work everything went on as normal until about an hour after dinner when she panicked saying she had left the key at work and almost started crying. I told her I didn't "need" to be unlocked and that Id be okay until the following day. When we go to bed she undressed and said she wanted to cum, so I go the hint and went down until she came. I fell back over to my side ready for bed, throbbing in my cage when she climbs onto of me and starts grinding on my leg saying she wishes we could fuck. After about 5 minutes she pulls the key out of her bag next to the bed and unlocks me, you know the rest. Needless to say I think she is now enjoying the power of chasity