I'm just looking for help with ideas. (I don't need subs, or not wanting to hold anyone's key) I'm female I've been with my partner (male) for 15 yrs we've played with chastity on an off over the years. I'm just looking for different things to try as I do seam to just do the same things as previous which gets boring for us both. What I'm looking for is small tasks to do Monday to Friday night as he works and we have kids so only get few hours when there asleep and bigger things to do probably Saturday (all day) once again around the kids. I mostly do edges, tease and denial. We have alot of toys so BDSM He's quite an open person so he tells me to try anything. He's not massively in to pain but ok with light spanking. He's not a service sub. He wouldn't mind me saying make me a coffee etc but he'd only do that if he was doing himself one. We both worked in customer service so it was our job to serve people so it's not something he'd do at home. I do see alot of humiliation but it's a mine field. Home wise I've got him to wear latex even some female latex like a pink jumper not dresses though he's not really in to cross dressing. He doesn't mind hidden latex so latex underwear at home or shopping would be fine. When I do edges I mostly use hand or mouth but then my jaw or hand hurt after awhile so can't so it for long. Can't use a sleave as they make him sore and wand makes him cum too quickly. Would like other ideas for them or even a better position then sitting next to him. I can't kneel for long for bad knees either I've done cock warming too but never can find a comfortable position for body or jaw. I have tried pegging him too and we do own butt plugs I really am struggling but I really enjoy doing it
Because of you, your husband is a lucky man! As the days go on ask him how he is doing, what he is feeling, perhaps offer to listen to one or two of his sexual gushes, tell him he is so romantic for holding out for you, Tell him how your feeling. And why is it you edging him? Get yourself some back and foot rubs, have him paint your toe nails and make love to your feet, He can brush your hair. He might want to help you dress up all pretty and go on a date, happy endings for only you are always a plus. Give him an opportunity to masturbate in front of you, you fully clothed, the prettier you have yourself the better show he will put on. Push his limits, tell him if he cums he must clean it up with his mouth, Perhaps have him wear blinding contact lenses next time you want sex, a massage, or just some amusement.
My first thought, since he isn’t particularly submissive, is you have a challenge. However, if he is locked up, he is at least somewhat submissive. So, start playing with that. See where you can take him. The next time you have him unlocked and are stroking him, tell him how much it would please you to have coffee made every morning. If he agrees, finish him in a memorable way. If he holds back without saying yes, lock him back up, denying him. If he starts making you coffee, add something else to his list. Play with him and see where you can take him. You can also start engaging his mind. Send him notes and give him something to look forward to. Maybe in a couple of days. Make him wait. Leave the notes open-ended so his fantasies kick in. Make sure you are being taken care of first. You are a very special woman to be putting in this effort.
Thank you very much for the reply I really appreciate it. I'll have to toy with the making coffee part as on a morning if he's up before me and making one for himself he usually does one for me anyway it's nothing submissive just 15yrs or marriage. I do like the idea of a note, what sort of things would I write.... His next unlocking or cum date? Would it be on paper or text ?
Reading your post one can conclude that you are a " dream come true" KH and your submissive ,although in chastity, quite "spoiled" There is not a unique, nor " right" way to enjoy this lifestyle as has been always said by many members of this CM community, so your openess to hear new ideas speaks highly of you. What comes to my mind is you could , mantaining all the basic elements,just modifying the proportions to achieve several goals simultaneously. In order to reduce your effort, you could significantly extend the locked periods and do the teasing and edging without removing the cage simply using the wand. Applying the vibration to the cage transmits a pleasant sensation but it will take far far longer to bring him to the edge.You will still pamper him , his hornyness will be greater and your hand or mouth will not hurt.Additionally he will enjoy far more when you take him out of the cage , occasinally. On the other hand ,if possible,acquiring a fucking machine could save all the effort of pegging and is an easy way to frequently provide stimulation to him and enhance his submissiveness. I understand him not being service oriented but you can channel his energy towards your personal needs such as massages ( full body,feet,hands,etc), chosing your outfits,preparing a bath,and so many others.
Those are good ideas, but they are all about him. What about sexy notes that get him to do things for you? Paper notes are fun. Tuck them into his wallet, or laptop to find. Just letting him know you are thinking about him is just as effective as actually promising to do something.
Thank you very much for your Ideas. We have done wand on chastity before many years ago but he has a soft plastic one and it worked quite well with the vibrations. He now has a hard plastic one so I'd have to play around with it and see if it works. I do love the idea of massage and pampering I will add that in xx ❤️
I give a full hour-long professional level massage once a week, and foot rubs every night. You deserve it!
Maybe, you are using it on the wrong person. Go to bed some evening as usual. Just as he is fading out, use the wand yourself. He will hear it. Be selfish and finish to your satisfaction, or several satisfactions. Then, go to sleep. He will be quite desirous, and you will sleep great. Feed him a few sexy notes though the week (not promising him anything), and you should be in control. Well, at least in control with a cup of coffee!
How about you sitting in the a chair ask him to remove his clothes kneeling handcuffs on the back. Just wearing chastity ask him to come up with a punishment and/or humiliation. While you play with his nipple and use you foot to tease his chastity. If his idea isn’t good enough punish him hard buy adding time like a week or month. Then repeat until you get a satisfactory idea form him. This will maybe admit some things he likes. You could also give him a kick and say not good enough and keep going until satisfied.
Wow, he is a lucky guy. Have you simply played with lockup duration and different ways of leading him on and then saying "No!"? I don't recommend lying but a guy's mind will do all the teasing you need if you play it right, and you will feel your power and confidence surge (which, trust me, will turn him on even more, but you probably already know this after 15 years). When my wife teases me she frequently locks me to the bed (we keep rope/chain and small padlocks hidden from the kids under the mattress), takes the cage off, and lightly touches me near the glans. Almost effortless for her but drives me wild (better than if she strokes hard), especially if it has been weeks since my last O. This hasn't gotten old in 3 years and is all I can think of. As others have said, she likes to use toys on herself while I watch. And if she locks the bedroom door I am required to massage her feet and legs, orally service her, and cuddle her to sleep. I am also expected to start massaging her in order to turn her on and service her before she needs to be out of bed in the morning. She tells me that never gets old, either, and I certainly can't complain! Hope any of these might help, but most of all keep it fun for you (don't worry about changing it up for him), I think THAT is what works for most guys here.
Hi Miss Nicky, glad to see you back, on an unrelated note, I remember you telling me once that you were looking at getting him pierced to make sure that he can’t pull out of his device, so just curious what, if anything, you decided about that since then.
Hey hunni thank you. We didn't get the piercing in the end. We're just finding different devices instead. He does have a good one which he can't pull off but it's actually a faff to get on and he has to put it on unfortunately x
hello @Miss Nicky please Miss You cud tell him that if he is not good and dont do thingys that You tell him to do then he will be lock up in his cage for ever such a long time.
Have him strip, then stand facing a corner, hands bathing his back. Then use your wand on yourself, all he gets is to listen...