- Apr 29, 1967 (Age: 53)
Member, Male, 53
21 weeks in chastity; treated myself to a stainless steel Holy Trainer V3. Let me know what you think of it. Dec 4, 2019
- Andy67 was last seen:
- Mar 1, 2021 at 2:45 PM
- Apr 29, 1967 (Age: 53)
- Your chastity role:
- Chastity devices:
Holy Trainer V3 (stainless steel)
Holy Trainer V3 (bio-resin)
First and foremost, my wife and I were never interested in kink or any form of BDSM. However, I did indulge my fetish of women's lingerie by wearing panties for the last 15 years. A few years ago, I expanded my fetish to include HWLLPG's and waist cinchers. Although my wife wasn't a fan of my fetish, she did learn to accept it, and seemed to like the look and feel of my nylon encased equipment.
- Chastity resume:
- First locked: 12/18/17
Several years ago, my wife was going through menopause, and as a result, our intimacy and sex life diminished greatly. I had been a twice daily masturbator since I was 15, but as her sex drive diminished during menopause, my self-pleasuring activities became the sole source of my sexual gratification.
After menopause, my wife began to regain her sex drive. Unfortunately, my masturbatory habits had already seriously affected my ability to become aroused by my wife, as well as affecting my ability to achieve and maintain an erection when in bed with her. Oddly enough, I never had a problem with achieving or maintaining when I took matters into my own hands.
After three successive and poor performances in bed with her (over the course of a few months), I began to avoid sexual contact with my wife, as I dreaded my next embarrassing and unsatisfactory performance. I knew my wife was frustrated, upset, and unsatisfied, but she never let on, and never once blamed me for not being able to fulfill my duties as her husband and lover. Deep down, I began to realize that she blamed herself for not being able to arouse me, most likely thinking that I no longer found her as beautiful, sexy, and arousing as I once did. It broke my heart knowing she was assuming full responsibility for our problems with intimacy, when in fact I knew that I was solely responsible for my poor bedroom performance and our situation. I have never felt more embarrassed or ashamed of myself in my entire life. I knew something had to change, but what and how?
I contemplated the situation for a few months. I came to the realization that I not only had to quit masturbating once and for all, I also had to place my wife's sexual satisfaction before my own, and make her sexual satisfaction a priority in our relationship. But having had this habit of mine for the last 35 years of my life, how could I possibly have any success in stopping forever? I felt I had no chance of success unless I could replace it with a new, good habit. I prayed to God that a solution to my problem would present itself.
A few weeks later, I awoke in the middle of the night, like you do after having a vivid dream. Only it wasn't a dream; in what seemed like an instant, an idea came to me. It was simply an idea, a concept, a complete thought.
It took me a couple weeks to wrap my head around what I had experienced; something had inspired me to incorporate chastity into my life. A week later, I came to understand that chastity in my life would have to come in the form of a male chastity device. Now I was faced with the insurmountable task of trying to explain all of this to my wife without her thinking I've completely lost my mind.
I realized that that only time I could possibly bring up such a sensitive subject was after what could be considered the best sex we had ever had together. I knew that for this to happen, I would have to relearn the true meaning of intimacy between a man and woman if I was going to have a chance in hell of having an above average performance.
I thought about what it was like when we were first dating and after we were first married. The hand-holding, holding the door for her, opening her car door, as well as frequent kissing, French kissing, caressing her cheek, neck, hips, waist, and breasts while kissing, all of which always aroused both of us. Most of the time this type of contact didn't necessarily lead to sex. What it did, however, was increase our yearning for each other in anticipation of our next sexual encounter.
I then spent the next week or so reintroducing these things back into our relationship to rekindle our intimacy. The next time I planted a serious, passionate kiss on her (completely out of the blue), she responded really well, which drove me to quite an impressive erection. She said, "My, aren't we affectionate tonight!", to which I responded that I realized " . . . I really missed that part of our relationship and felt it was something that we needed to do more regularly". She agreed.
A few days later was Saturday, and we had a nice dinner out, complete with a few cocktails. She hinted around after dinner that she "might want to have some fun" when we got home, and was wondering if I thought I might be interested. As she said this, she casually brushed her hand across my lap to check my state of arousal; I was halfway there. What she was really asking me was whether I thought I could "achieve and maintain". I told her I'd give it my best shot.
When we arrived home, we barely got in the door when the passionate kissing began, and her groping of my crotch firmly reassured her I was ready to go. I quickly readied myself in the bathroom (mouthwash, cologne, etc.) and headed for the bedroom. When she followed a few minutes later, the bedroom was dark, save for a few candles burning, and soft music was playing. I took things slower than I think I had in years, and I managed to fully satisfy her twice before I allowed myself penetrate her and finish the deed.
In the afterglow as we layed there together, I told her that there was something important that we needed to discuss. I began very slowly, telling her about my frequency of masturbation and that I realized that I was solely responsible for my previous history of poor performance and lack of arousal. She tried to reassure me that she had some ownership of our problems, but I persisted until she began to understand that there were some very real negative effects of frequent masturbation where intimacy and performance was concerned. I explained to her that I found a solution that would help me to stop masturbating for good, allow me to refocus my sexual energy on her, place her in charge of my orgasms (only after she was satisfied), and add some spice to our love-making.
I then said to her, "I can't even believe I'm saying this. I want to buy myself a male chastity device." Her reaction was less than favorable, but she allowed me to finish what I had to say. I continued, "I realize what kind of imagery this conjures up, like some God-awful medieval contraption, but this isn't what this is about. I know this sort of thing is common in BDSM, but this is not what this is about. I'm talking about a device that is all about fit, form, and function. The device I'm interested is a plastic cage that fits snugly around the penis and locks onto a ring that's situated behind the scrotum. Because it's locked, it's designed to prevent masturbation. It's also designed to minimize any sort of stimulation of the penis, which in time, will re-sensitize it, allowing me to have bigger, harder erections. Because I won't be able to expend my sexual energy on my own, I'll be able to refocus my sexual energy on you, ensuring that we'll be more intimate and that you'll be thoroughly sexually satisfied. And, your satisfaction takes precedence over mine, where I'll make sure I don't orgasm until you've had as many as you want. Finally, you've got to admit, this would certainly spice things up in the bedroom."
She was still quite upset and said it was going to take some time to come to terms with everything I had told her. I said that there were plenty of websites and books that covered this sort of thing and that I would share some internet links and a Kindle book that would address her concerns from the female perspective. I asked her to stick with the links I shared with her to make sure she didn't stumble across some hardcore BDSM site that would have certainly freaked her out. I also asked that she didn't search for photos of any of these devices online so as to not give her a disturbing visual that may haunt her. Finally, I asked her to take some time to come to terms with all of this, that I would gladly answer any questions she may have, and that I would not pressure her in any way. How we would proceed would be entirely up to her.
About a week later, I resent the internet links to her via text message. A couple days later, I asked if she had read anything; she said she hadn't. I reassured her that these links would help her understand and come to terms with the situation much faster. A week after that, she finally began to ask me some questions. At last: progress. After a half hour of discussion, I asked her if she wanted to see some photos of the device (a CB-6000S). She said that it didn't look so bad. Then I showed her a photo of one being worn. Again, she didn't think it looked too bad, and seemed kind of intrigued. Finally, I asked her what she thought of my proposal to be a caged male; she said that she wanted to do whatever it would take to make me happy. Thanks to my loving, caring, understanding, and accepting wife, I ordered the CB-6000S and began my chastity journey a few days later.