Device-Free Chastity Discussion

Not something I heard of before but Device free method sounds like a great
option and would help those who struggle with cages.

 

i'm doing that since almost 3 years now... through hypnosis, i have learned to appreciate being horny and that cumming would end that feeling. Sometimes the suggestions make me unable to touch at all, but most of the times i'm allowed to. I just can't cum without permission, i slow down or stop automatically...

 

I to practice chastity without a device. We have been on modified FLR type relationship for two years. My wife hates the idea of a cage so i don`t wear one, but i would if she eventually wants me too.
The honor system usually works for me, but we were on vacation with family last week and i masturbated 5 times and told her when we got back. She made me service her and let me inside her but didn`t let me cum. I have been attending to her needs all week.
She teases me during the week and we have sex on saturday. I am only allowed to cum inside of her. It works for us, but i want to be locked in a cage. Maybe someday.

 

we play with devices sometimes, but use the "honor system" most of the time. Different things work for different people. My wife setting an "expectation" of not wanking has worked with us along with other things.

 

We are in our 3rd year of chastity and 95 percent of the time on the honor system. I expect that it will change at some point but the honor system has served us well.

 

The cage provides me with a compleetly diffrent mindset.

When I am caged I feel submisive and will follow orders no matter how hard they are to accept or how horny I am feeling.

I know no cage is inescapable but the physical barrier is a big help in creating a submisive mental state of mind. We use the P.A. devices so escape would mean it would be necesary to damage an expensive custom made cage. I could not hide that from her and I know she would be very hurt so I wouldn't do it.

When uncaged I am in a diffrent mindset, She has encouraged me to behave with her as I did before we introduced chastity. She wants me initiate sex and be domminant in bed.

I guess her encouragement of that would make the honour system very difficult to follow as I would get confused as to what role I was supposed to be playing at the various diffrent times.

The cage for us is I guess the preverbial light switch, Cage on I become submisive. Cage off and you have just released the beast

 

I recognise the change in mindset when the cage is on. No longer a need to be the alpha male and surrendering to women in general and the Domme in particular. Have been in chastity before cages were available. My Domme had a keen eye for my state of hornyness and would sence a change caused by playing or orgasming in a heartbeat. She also checked my foaming level on urine before flushing. Had me masturbate in a condom at random time intervals in the most odd places and then afterwards would weigh them for volume, consistency and time it took to extract the specimen. Also i wore special sporting shorts commando that nicely showed erections and leaking. Often slept with hands rolled up in two pairs of briefs and no way of getting out of them and placing them back on again in the same manner. It was a pretty watertight system

 

I have been on the honor system for a while; I don't masturbate and only have a release with my wife through intercourse, which also always ends in my orally satisfying her afterwards. We do have non reciprocal oral (cunnilingus) a couple/few times a week, but intercourse is only 2 to 3 times a month.

I have been compliant without issue, have enjoyed being able to re-direct all of that sexual energy on having her be my fantasy, and have been very happy to promote her happiness, satisfaction and success by doing more of the menial work; I do most of the housework, cooking, etc.

But, I do admit, that after a while I have a "lapse" and will watch porn and edge myself; no orgasm just edging for a while. I am not sure that I can fully prevent that unless I am locked up, even at least partially, to help manage triggers and times when I have too much autonomy to settle into edging.

So, I am looking forward to introducing a device to help with managing this better, start off with addressing/controlling trigger times and ramp up as needed from there.

 

No way to be anything but submissive when you are in a cage. It hangs there as a constant reminder of your place.

I've always been on the honor system, and never felt I had to be caged to be chaste. That said, there is just something about the cage that changes you. I personally don't think of the honor system as chastity, not to offend any uncaged submissives, it's just abstaining and not masturbating. Perhaps it's semantics, but after your in a cage for a few weeks or a month or longer, all that changes--that's chastity.

I've always sat to pee at home, just makes sense, but when you're caged, you must sit, no choice---even when you're out. I know it has nothing directly to do with being chaste, but is a part of the experience that is not there for those on the honor system.

 

I'm very new to this stuff and only recently started experimenting with orgasm denial and "chastity" with my wife (is it chastity if she lets you fuck her but you aren't allowed to cum?). It's mind-blowing how powerful it is to have sex but not cum. When I cum, I can't help but just lose interest in sex for like a day or two. When I don't, I become obsessed with my wife and the feeling of attraction is incredible. I'm not sure that my wife would ever be on board for a device. Just too out there for her.

We're working on a little game where I'm allowed an orgasm for ever 10 that I give her. It's a great way to focus our sex life on her pleasure and I love it. The only problem is I haven't thought of a good punishment yet for when I cum when I'm not supposed to. Forcing me to eat the creampie sounds like a good one, but I don't know if she would be grossed out by that and also I am definitely NOT in the mood to do that after I've cum, so she'd basically have to force me to. Other suggestions are welcome.

 

Have you tries a numbing cream lime EMLA and a condom for example.

Applied to the head of the penis after 10 minutes to allow the cream to take effect there is no way I can cum from vaginal intercourse as I simply cannot feel a thing.

 

I have to be caged all the time. I am self locked and in permanent denial. No reason to ever come out of my cage, don't know if I could maintain and succeed without it. I am not willing to take that chance.

 

Wow. She is pretty smart. What would she do if she finds out that you cheated and had an orgasm?

 

I use the honour system and mostly find it relatively easy. Weekends, when I have more spare time, can be difficult. After discussing this with my Mistress, yesterday for the first time I used a cage. It worked well. Not only did it remove temptation but it made me feel closer to my Mistress. I will wear it again today, even though I don't really need it.

 

My experience is that it can be done but it requires a lot more descipline and effort on both sides. It requires way more intense "planning & tracking" from my wife which puts more pressure on her and on the other side it is way harder for me to keep my hands off, especially during periods in which I am not monitored.
Both of us are more relaxed when I am caged.
(We are not in an FLR but keep this D/s "only" on the sexuality side to compensate the gap in sex drive.)

 

I'm so glad that you started this thread here. You're not alone.
I discovered chastity as part of FemDom D/s 15 years ago. Like most people I liked the idea of being submissive to a female dominant partner, and somehow liked the idea of feeling humilliatied, less worth... all that stuff. The whole idea of her being mean to me, locking me up with a device... you know, what 90% of the people on CM like.

In the meanwhile I think and feel COMPLETELY different about all this subjects. First of all I'm not so much convinced about "female superiority". I believe much more in energy balance between male and female (yin-yang, tantra, etc) Perfect balance is very difficult (if not impossible) to achieve, so there si always a struggle. Each person and each gender has it's own struggles and challenges. Persons who have male genitals -independently of where they find themselves along the gender spectrum- mostly struggle with the male hormones produced by the male genitals and it's consequences. Wanting/needing to masturbate or the urge to "chase" or even "hunt for" a partner to have intercourse is in most cases very difficult to manage. It's part of nature.

I must add that although I don't believe in "female superiority" anymore in the traditional fetichistic sense as mostly discusses in the BDSM world, I DO believe in some kind of "female devine" and had the pleasure to experience the power of female energy within myself and in my partner. Female energy is completely different than male energy. What I DO find devine in the "female energy experience" is the wither range of possibilities and dimensions within emotions and sexuality. To be more clear. Most males know sexuality as some kind of "switch" with "on/off" function. You're horny (ON), you masturbate or have sex, you ejaculate and you're done (OFF). The female sexual pleasure has a extreme wide spectrum of possibilities on how to enjoy sexual excitement. If males have only one "on-off switch", females have several "dimmers" which can be fine tuned in different positions and result in completely different forms of sexual enjoyment. But it doesn't end there. The dimmers can "move/adjust" also during "sexual action". This "complexity" and endless possibilities within the female sexual and emotional world is what I definitely find DEVINE... and maybe to some point "superior" to the very simplistic wiring of male sexuality.

NOW, after this long introduction, I will try to get TO THE POINT.
I discovered that the only way to expand my sexual experience and enter the devine world of female sexuality was through chastity. But I never really liked the idea of wearing a device.
Also redirecting sexual energy to other things is a great experience. The transformation of the "horny" feeling into something much more useful, and not necessarily -and only- the act of adoring a Domme and cleaning the floors for her.
Many years ago I started discovering many ancient philosophies around sexuality, tantra among others, which also include many variations of chastity, or better said, abstinence which are more focused on spirituality connected to sexuality in a much more positive way than all this BDSM negative, pain, power and -too aften- humiliation oriented "philosophies" (if it deserves being called philosophy at all)

I believe, doing chastity/abstinence without a device, but through means of self control and in coordination with a loving partner, brings much more growing possibilities for both people involved, than the well known D/s dynamic and the use of a device.

I love the idea and experience of redirecting the male sexual energy to other areas of life and personal development, and to connect this ideas with a partner with the goal in mind of reaching balance together and discovering new levels/dimensions of personal development, joy, pleasure, connection and spirituality.

By the lack of a right partner at the moment, i decided to continue developing this aspects on my own... and at some point, I'm sure, I will cross paths with a female partner to continue this journey together.

 

We have been using honour system mostly because I have not found a cage that would work for me. My queen doesnt want I get PA. So far all cages I tried were possible to escape from, so in essence when I am wearing one it is a honor system as well.

We use the cage on occasions to fool ourselves thinking it is the real thing. It puts us in a playful mode where she feels more secure and I feel more submissive. In some ways it works, since I cannot remove the cage because it traps my balls and so sex with another person would be difficult.

I enjoy the honor system without cage, but it requires more attention from us, which is not always easy, so we go through periods where things go unattended and I start touching myself or masturbating. I hope my queen would give me more attention and be more strict, because I dont have the self control, or I dont feel the game is worth it if I am the only one playing it.

For a while I was allowed orgasm if I successfully not touched myself for five days. That worked really well because it was so hard. I felt the attention. But than I was able to quit this habit and I had a guaranteed orgasm, which didn't feel like she was in control anymore. We were not able to come up with reward/punishment system after that. I suggested that my reward would be a "kinky bondage game" but she didn't follow up with that.

How do you think we could get this game back on track?

 

Long term retention, tantric service, feminine Devine, meditation, goddesses...I’m not sure about that stuff, seems a bit esoteric and almost religious for my blood. As far as cage free chastity, I have learned that when I am not caged, whether for a day or a week, she expects the same rules to apply. More times than not it is I who want the cage back on to give myself a break from the temptation.

This last period was almost 10 days, finally she said it was time to put it on again. I half teased her after a fun little morning that I was going to finish myself after she left for work, her reply was a stern laugh of “you better not”. We were both lighthearted but we both know that even without the device, it is implied. To an even more extent she also doesn’t want me touching it either, even if I don’t finish.

So in general it’s not specifically about the device, but more about who’s it is and who is in charge of it. The device helps me, and I was way more into it when we began, now it’s more her desire. To quote her “that thing stays locked in its little cage, I’ll let you know if I want to see it out”.

 

I am learning about tantra with my Wife and it feels very consistent with device based chastity..

But for me, personally, to be happy and content i need my penis to be locked up with my Wife holding both keys

 

My Wife won't allow me to wear a cage, and I don't really care that much about wearing one as I feel I have been trained by her not to cheat

 

I use a cage but my wife is not very found of, she prefers me to be chaste on honor.
I alllowed time to time to be lock anyway.

 

I can’t keep a cage on for long, it becomes far too uncomfortable after a few days. We use the honour system, I’m usually never away from my goddess for more than just the work day, and I have the self restraint not to masturbate there so it works out.

We sleep naked in bed together, and the way we see it is if I’m hard enough to play with myself then I should just be in her, so we have very regular sex, I just don’t finish myself.

After a few weeks this gets increasingly difficult and sex doesn’t last very long before I’m too close to keep going, but we have kept it up for months before.

Don’t think I’d last indefinitely without a device, but I’d have to find one that I could live with first.