Would you quit FLR for your partner?

I am answering this on behalf of my madam,
Absolutely not. Being dominant is down at my very core, and once I discovered Bdsm and the fetish scene I knew I had found home. Once our relationship progressed to FLR I knew I would never go back. I want to be in charge and control all of the aspects of our day to day life.
And I would be able to have anything else now.

 

My wife says she can't imagine living any other way. The kink, perhaps, could fade or change, we could go back to vanilla sex, but after 5 years of this, I don't see our relationship working without her in charge... or to put it another way, our relationship is her in charge.

 

We've taken a few weeks off as a friend has died and we are in mourning. However my wife is starting to take back control so I guess we quit for a short period but it will soon be back on course (starting tonight!) to the 24/7 FLR that we both know works best

 

Quite the opposite, if our relationship was a business she would be manager, and I would be her Personal assistant, I do all the mundane parts of things so she doesn’t have to. Such as when shopping I push the cart, she chooses what we get, then I load up at the till, pack and pay and load the car, then I unload and put everything away when home, while madam sits down with a coffee,
This is how most of our life is, and madam often says she wouldn’t know what she would do without me.

 

thank you for an interesting question.

Moving into a FLR took time. My attraction to my Wife came from Her strength. i am a foot taller, but Her personal fortitude and power surrounded her making the physical concept of power irrelevant. Society had taught her that a strong male was a go-getter, a strong female was a bitch. Misogyny rules. The move to an FLR took 8 years to emerge, and almost 8 years later, with help, it is continuing to grow and form. It truly is a most natural and honest existence, one that should have been blatantly obvious from the outset. When i posed the question of her desire to move back to vanilla, Her question was "Now why on earth would I want to ever go back?" i mirror her question.

 

My wife absolutely adores me, she appreciates me, and there is more to our relationship than me fixing her lunch and making her coffee for her to take to work.

She was not a dominant when we met. Correction, she was unaware that she was a dominant when we met. I think sexually she was submissive (I’m your little slut, fuck me hard, tell me what you want), but whether she knew it or not, she wanted control everywhere else. She even told me once that “I didn’t think I needed to be in charge, but forcing that is usually what ended things with others in the past”.

Once she got a whiff of me being caged and unable to take it off, she quickly readjusted what sex was. It took her a bit to get over the guilt of not reciprocating, and only giving me pleasure when it pleased her. Once she did, she has since said that she would budge on certain sexual aspects, would even give up all the rules and routines if we needed to. However the cage, her keeping track of making sure she is happy, and me being a doting partner are not negotiable anymore. If I wanted out of chastity I would have to show some sort of reason, or she would take it as a slight.

I instigated chastity within a few months of dating, and we really don’t have another base to fall back on. We dated, courted, and then married, all with this as our template. I wouldn’t blame her for being upset or refusing to relinquish control.

 

Of corse there is real love! My madam loves me! And she loves all I do for her in every way! But if i didn’t do it she would have another sub do it for her, but it does not mean she would love me any less, I am her slave but also her life partner, and we are best friends on every level! Those beyond Bdsm and fetish,
We may portray on here being a 24/7 flr couple with her being the all powerful Dom of all, but we still have our quiet normal moments watching tv ect this is such a diverse life style, it’s impossible to pin a badge on it.

 

Of course I’ve thought of quitting, or thought of the future and what ifs. I believe when I got pierced so I could wear a cage that I couldn’t get out of was my first real “what did I get myself into” moment. Being sick and miserable, wearing a cage, looking down and thinking “this is ridiculous why am I wearing this thing all the time especially when I wouldn’t even touch it if it wasn’t on”. Walking outside to start her car, waking up early on my day off “is this the rest of my life? What if I just don’t want to do this stuff anymore?”

I think everyone has those doubts and even wondered if they made the right choice. Especially when it’s not fun times. Sometimes it’s in-laws, cancer, bill problems, life schedules, kid problems and prioritizing free time. Sometimes you want to take off the cage and say let’s just be normal. I can’t imagine she wouldn’t feel similar for the same reasons. I am sure she has days where it’s like “enough! I just don’t want to be responsible, in charge, or dictate our sex life.”

What I tried to convey is that at the end of the day, she wouldn’t ever throw the baby out with the bath water. The most she would give up is some compromises. Anything more and as much as she loves me and would try to conform to a new dynamic, a certain amount of resentment would remain that would make our life awkward.

 

That’s a hard one...they wouldn’t be here anymore lol! I only know of one couple that fits that criteria here, and they decided to give chastity a break while they deal with their issues. From what I gather they are starting to recover, their marriage takes precedent, and she’s trying to deal with life after the cage. She still would like to return, but saving their marriage may involve giving up her need to dominate and enforced chastity.

 

thank you for the clarification. If i chose to return to vanilla, i believe my Wife would agree. The lifestyle we chose first starts with our lives together. One cannot have a dominant - submissive relationship without a submissive. i, in my hopeful manner, do not believe She would look elsewhere for a replacement!

 

If it were as a result of a serious health condition or emotional issue, the foundation of love and care is still enough to make a strong relationship. If it were because one party didn't want it anymore, then it might cause a strain. I can't imagine Miss A and I living any other way.

 

We had a couple at a munch who tried a FLR and decided it is not theirs.... not much surprising as I think that most people who are interested in FLRs have wrong (or too many) expectations. Add this to the fact that a FLR will only work for an absolute minority it is not much surprising that there are people out there who decided that a FLR is not theirs.

And it does not necessary have to be big problems like those mentioned by Nick ( great posting btw) ... just come home tired and with an ill mood after 10h of stress at work, your balls hurting, because you could not righten your cage during that meeting... And then get told that this trip with friends you have been expecting for months has been canceled by your wife due to reasons you can not comprehend...

How many people would cope with that willingly ? And that is what most people do not see... an FLR is not about some kinky sessions, but rather about handling the rather unpleasent aspects of life / the FLR...

But even if I think Nicoftimes postings great I would like to exclude thinks like health problems, bill problems etc. Those things can be hard and might bring changes with them no matter what kind of relationship you have...

Why would they not ? Just because you realized that you do not want to life in a FLR does not necessarily mean that you are no longer interested in chastity or other kinky stuff...

 

My wife says she would absolutely no-way-under-any-conditions return to a more vanilla relationship style. And once I pass, she's gonna put my ashes on the mantle and never marry a man again. BTW, She says that's the only way my slave anklet is EVER coming off my leg (other than some medical reason). I chuckle when she says that.

For me, why would I want to change? I love my FLR. It's who I am, and I hate that a judgemental society makes us submissive males 'hide' our tendencies.

 

I found the real me when I started living in a FLR with my boy. I know I can't live any other way.

 

I feel exactly the same. Its this way, or the highway. I don't want nor would I accept it any other way. It makes perfect sense living this way. We both know our place (me above him, he is beneath me in every way). He begged for me to control him and his life. He has wanted it from a woman his entire life and he finally got it with me (he never felt able to share his desires before). If he decided no, then firstly I'd deny him as it isn't up to him anyway. He gave control to me. If he meant it and didn't want it anymore, I would not be pleased. We are compatible as he wants to serve and I want to be served. If that goes, we have lost ourselves. If you lose yourself, there is no going back.

 

Also to add, I love him. I am head over heels deeply in love with him.
I want him in my life. I cannot imagine my life without him.