Who benefits most?

Love the question and I would say mutually beneficial is our answer. It's funny because I think we had a mutually detrimental relationship before chastity. I think we have always been good partners and parents, but out sex and intimacy was not doing well. I think by redefining our roles we turned that around to our mutual benefit.

 

I think it is very much about the dynamic of the relationship. And the varieties of dynamics possible is almost as infinite as the number of couples.

Within TTTWD it is perfectly feasible for the locked and denied male to be dominant in almost all other ways provided they have the one rule: he may not ever use his dominance to secure any kind of release. I've lived something similar and it worked.

It comes down to not so much the importance of who benefits the most... being not as good basis for a relationship as ........both partners mutually benefiting sufficiently for their needs to keep the relationship, alive, valid and interesting from the point of view of both (or all concerned).

I could not settle for throwing myself at some woman's feet, doing only what I'm permitted as and when I'm told. I would not work for me nor would my partner get to experience the best of me.

I suppose if you are both getting all that you each want and need from your relationship you may well perceive both individually and mutually that there is no best end of the deal..... just the deal you both enjoy.

 

In the fantasy of the dominant/submissive FLR relationship, yes it would be a hell of a lot of work for the dominant. Scheduling every event of every day, assigning chores, meting out punishment, deciding when this or that pleasure would occur, watching his lock schedule, supervising his cleaning, assessing his moods...

Exhausting.....

And while it might seem like heaven for the dominant to have all that control, well, power corrupts absolutely. And, also too, be careful what you wish for.

Eventually every relationship is negotiated. While I fantasize about an FLR at one level, I know that there would be stepping stones to what I would actually surrender, piece by piece; and I would only do that with someone I felt close to, and trusted.

I think it would be rare for the Uber-dominant woman to meet up with the mega-submissive male, as they do every day in literotica fantasies.

At some point you have to deal with the real person...their vulnerabilities and humanity and their unpredictability.

So who benefits? Both, or neither. I think.

 

Like many here, I believe each relationship is different and the ones that last have both parties “winning”. Long term, there is no happy ending if one side consistently loses.

 

I suspect that's very much a submissive's idea of a Dominant. The way that's worded, everything revolves around the Domme sorting out the sub's day. I think it works the other way round.