toying with financial slavery

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by caggedaus, Feb 8, 2024.

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  1. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    we are struggling to save deposit for housing loan. Our finances are split currently but she brought up creating a joint bank account for our savings. for me this is Scarry for me to take on her financial responsibilities and I tend to spend as much as goes in, I think she's the same..

    well today I had a idea, why don't I turn my bank into a escrow account. ill open another bank account I can use as a daily then she can give me an allowance of my own money, change the passwords, order new card, After bills, rent and food I really only need $60 between phone, petrol, spending money

    I brought it up with her, she said "your really going all in on this aren't you, I would own you" she's thinking About it, I'm doubtful shell bite, very vanilla. I think it would be fun, even drafted up a contract with chatgtp



    –---–--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
    *financial Agreement between G and F*

    This agreement is made on , between G and F

    *1. Grant of Authority:*
    a. G hereby grants F full control and authority over the bank accounts listed below:

    - all A bank accounts
    - all B bank accounts

    *2. Allowance:*
    a. F will provide G with a allowance for personal expenses.

    b. Each weekend F will transfer money from G's A bank account to G's B bank accounts .

    c. This amount is at the discretion of F, additional funds may be transferred for unforeseen expenses the G finds unaffordable

    *3. Restrictions:*
    a. G will make every effort to change any payment apps over to B bank accounts

    *4. Duration:*
    a. This agreement shall remain in effect until the 1st of June 2024.

    *5. Termination:*
    a. Either party may terminate this agreement with written notice to the other party.

    *6. Review and Adjustment:*
    a. The parties agree to review and, if necessary, adjust the terms of this agreement as circumstances change.

    *7. Signatures:*

    G : ____________________
    Date

    F : ____________________
    Date

    ---
     
  2. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    This is a bridge to far for me. It goes bad it goes horribly bad.
     
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  3. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Think very very carefully. The potential for this to go disastrously wrong is high.
     
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  4. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    idk I mean currently I loose 2 grand if it goes bad. if I had to extract its a trip to the bank to get it straightened out. I get that it could a fortnight of no cash if it she emptied the account. but we have been together 7 years I trust her
     
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  5. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    am I missing any other probable issues?
     
  6. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    You have 2 grand now. What if you work hard, save get tens of thousands. Could in theory disappear in a heartbeat.
     
  7. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    I am unemployed till end of financial year. tax reasons and our welfare is nice. she's happy with having a house maid
     
  8. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    It's your arrangement but you asked. I for one would resent being on allowance with my own money.
     
  9. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    i didn't mean to attack you. I just wanted to see if there is any holes in my plan..

    it would be a slog but i think it would be great if I could even save 6 grand by the end. also I'm strange in that I really need to know that there is no way out for to enjoy myself.
     
  10. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    I don't see it as an attack. Just for us wouldn't work. If you think it'll work for your benefit try it. Just be aware you're leaving yourself very vulnerable.
     
  11. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    vulnerable for sure, id be trusting her to pay my car rego, internet, rent, Elec, gas.

    don't bite the hand that feeds you comes to mind. i could see being punished by having to take the bus, or withholding my spending money to stop me getting my iced coffee
     
  12. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    First question: Are you married? For a lot of reasons (in most places that I know anything about the law), that's an important question in this discussion.

    I earn all of the money and handle all of our investments, and I'm not on some sort of allowance, so I do spend a fair bit. But my wife has cut off some of my spending -- she's told me not to buy certain expensive things anymore without permission, and so I obey. I don't ask often, and when I do ask she usually (not always) grants permission, but my spending on those items has dropped by at least 60-75% because I only ask when there's a need or a really good deal. And my overall spending on myself has dropped by more than that since we started chastity.

    If she wanted to put me on an allowance, I'd accept that without complaint, but I don't personally want that or ever expect for it to happen. She doesn't want me to be her child or her pet to be responsible for; she wants a partner in life (who just happens to respect and obey her). I'm cool with that.
     
  13. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    You know, you could just set a budget and stick to it without all the extra complications.
     
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  14. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    Your right all a bit of wank fodder really.. For me a budget is not the solution, i have always been quite poor so anything left over was always for toys, I need to learn how to set myself an allowance.. was a subcontractor on the broadband network heading up to Christmas perfect opportunity but i managed to burn all 10k that I promised was for the house deposit

    Anyway we got to talking about money again tonight. Long story short we are heading to the bank tomorrow.

    I think she'll be alot more soft then I hoped. Like she wanted me to be able to save $600 in my allowance account talked her down to $120 at $60 a week and that sounds to high to me, idk if she knew that I want to suffer to save as much as possible..see how it goes
     
  15. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    lol, unemployed man is so poor that has has left over money for toys and to save to buy a house.

    You should let tax paying folk around you know where their money is going.

    Anyway, sure, I support you giving over your finances to your GF. Hopefully she won't take it all and find a man that has self control, doesn't waste money on toys, and can provide for her in the ways she deserves.

    Do check back in a year, let us know how this drama worked out.
     
  16. AllforChrissy
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    AllforChrissy Member

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    Personally I think the only times something like this works is either for the out and out kink of being totally financially controlled, or one of the people involved is absolutely terrible with money and the partner needs to seize control to secure financial security. On the flip side of all this is the responsibility, at first glance it seems like your partner is going to be the financially dominant person in your relationship, but taking responsibility for everything financial could be a heavy burden and jeopardize your relationship, just a thought. I'm thinking a joint savings account may be better and when setting it up you sit down together and draw up strict guidelines, the idea being that you never take from it, only add to it. You said that you think your partner is as bad with money as you, to give them sole responsibility for both your savings may be asking for trouble, you need to be able to hold each other accountable to successfully save maybe. Anyway, good luck, I hope it works out for you.
     
  17. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    I didn't want to say it but you did. I work 50 plus hour weeks and struggle to stash money here and there. I have not much more then this put back working myself to death
     
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  18. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    tax paying folk around here vote in governments that set first first tax bracket at 18k, deductions for transport at 85c per kilometre and non taxable pensions at 35k. Full time work in my field is 150k. Milk is $4.50 for 3l and a loaf of bread is $3. Going rate for 3 bed house in the burbs is 500k and in the country with some land is 300k.. completely possible to buy a house in the country on a pension..
     
  19. caggedaus
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    caggedaus Active member

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    It is looking interesting. Abit of an adjustment period, card wont arrive till late week so I have cash. We use my normal account for food shopping then she pays me back later in the week. Well we went food shopping today and after I offered to get her some lunch, she stood by her guns that I'm not to use my normal account for extra stuff. We got cheap pizza rolls and donuts with cash.

    I trust her, idk man 7 years and even when she has money problems I have never seen any loose cash go missing or anything

    a joint savings account idk we shift of money from person to person.
    For instance rent and water is in her name, elec and gas is in mine, and with shopping. So I'll pay her 500 for rent then she'll send me her 600 for electricity and 120 for food.
    I think where we want to be is a joint cash hub where we pay ourselves allowances from then personal savings from that allowance

    I took to heart what you said about it being a burden for her to take on my finances and I let her know if it's to much for her then we can stop. We will see but I think she won't want to give me control back
     
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