Thoughts on Whether a Vanilla Wife can be "tricked" into FLR?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by ChasteJase, Jul 18, 2022.

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  1. ChasteJase
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    ChasteJase Long term member

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    INTRODUCTION
    If anyone has read some of my other postings, you will know that I have a vanilla wife that I am interested in opening up to about some of my desires that exist in connection with chastity cages and related dynamics. This thread is more of a psychological question based on some recent observations. These observations could be accurate, or they could be, admittedly, me just seeing what I want to see.

    BACKGROUND
    Regardless, I have read and heard a lot from various sources (on and off this site, including advice given directly to me) that basically say: if your wife is vanilla and you want to get into a FLR / WLM, you need to go above and beyond in terms of doing chores for her (clean bathroom, bring cofee, etc) and she will naturally begin to expect more and more and get drunk with power. Boom! Instant FLR. This seemed like one of those things that I could see working on occasion but not necessarily be a tried and true formula.

    MY POSITION
    Mind you, I have never thought to put all of my eggs in the basket of this approach. However, I have gotten closer to my wife more lately and I am naturally a pleaser, servant type of guy. Her love language is Acts of service, so it works out well for both of us. In the past couple of months, I have stepped up the service for her, mostly out of love but occasionally just to see where it goes. I have been making her tea without her asking. I have been anticipating things that need to be done and doing them. Cleaning a little more, bringing water at night, taking care of some her routines etc. I still have a lot more I could do however.

    MY OBSERVATIONS
    Last night, we got back from a walk and she was taking off a shoe. I decided to get on a knee and untie and take off the other shoe. She made the comment "Can I leave my hat on?" That was funny and interesting but outside of that, I have noticed that she has become just slightly more demanding. She has begun telling me to do things instead of asking. Sometimes I get a "please" but sometimes not. There generally seems to be more of an expectation that I will just do what it is she is telling me to do. Again, maybe I am just paying attention to it more (perhaps she has always been like this and I haven't noticed), but it seems to be tracking with the whole idea of "the more you do, the bigger the expectations will grow".

    QUESTIONS
    Has anyone else experienced this?
    Any personal stories?
    Has anybody really used this approach to naturally evolve into a FLR that is recognized by both parties.
    Any thoughts on my situation? Does it sound like things are really following the formula?
     
  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    I am not gonna lie to you, I only read the Subject Threading... if someone is your wife you shouldn't be "tricking" them into something like this. Communication is key here & I truly feel this isn't something that can happen overnight from scratch... you both just need to be honest & talk about what you want & what expectations there are & what the other person is comfortable with.
     
  3. ChasteJase
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    ChasteJase Long term member

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    To be clear - I erased my first line of that post in which I admitted the title was a little bit of click bait. I am not trying to trick my wife. I am not trying to manipulate her either. I agree that communication is critical. If you read my whole message, the point of my post is that many say that you can turn a vanilla wife into a dominant wife by doing what I am discussing in my post. The word "tricked" was in quotes for a reason. Hopefully, this additional information will help this thread to not go down the wrong road into deep discussions about "tricking" or "manipulating" your wife - not my intention.
     
  4. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    You can even guide her towards the FLR path by showing her that there are benefits to her and no drawbacks for her. There are any number of publications about this. You are the only person that has a clue as to what approach would gain you both the best interim results.
    Once you get that ball rolling do be aware that there is no telling where it will go and there is no way you can guess what her interpretation of FLR will become
     
  5. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    Hello Jase.

    I am not a native English speaker so please excuse, if some sentences are a bit strange.

    I havent read your full article, but I think you have a similar situation as I had some years ago.
    My wife was vanilla and I wasnt. I had expectations in my sexual life she could not fulfill in this time.

    Due to porno and webcamming I evolved in a really Nonvanilla way and experienced much more than my wife could imagine.

    At some point I recognized that i have a submissive part in me, which slowly took over control. I wanted to be a slave, started to watch different porno and slowly slided into another way of living. Without taking my wife with me.

    Which was a failure. Surely I made some innuendoes like being pegged and how nice it must be to be punished with a whip and how exciting BDSM could be. And... Well you can imagine what happened.

    So the disruption grew between us.

    And at a moment on October 2020 ( funfact that it was a locktober, when we started) we had a really big argument and I quit with her.

    So suddenly, freed in mind and without the fear of loosing her or being a pervert creep in marriage, I asked her if she never asked herself, what was the cockcage, which was lying in the closet under my ooooold pants, for - I EXACTLY knew she found it, because I arranged it in a way she HAD to find it, when she searched something in my bag some weeks before - i had bought.
    And she answered:" No clue."

    Due to the strange situation of not being a couple any longer, but living together in a flat with two small kids, I sent her a randomly searched page. I just googled "Cockcage usage" , found a site and sent the link to her.

    As it showed later on, it was a site about FLR.
    I even didnt even know what an FLR is, because I only knew all the porno from pornhub and so on about fetish and kink. I really never heard about it. Never in my life. I just wanted to play the pornscenes.

    I would never have thought about, what it could mean to be the submissive part in a relationship. To quit a patriarchat and start a matriarchat.

    Ten minutes later, after she had read the article, she called me to the living room. She said that she found the article very interesting and meanwhile she had a completely horny view in her eyes, which I havent seen in years.
    She looked at my trousers and told me to undress.
    I was really extremely confused, but did what she told me. And of course I got a hard cock.
    She started blowing and jerking my cock like there wasnt a tomorrow - she never did this, because she didnt like the taste of cock and cum she said. I almost came, and the precum was dripping out of my dick.
    She stopped.

    "Go get this thing."

    I didnt know what she meant. I was too confused.
    "Go get the Chastitydevice."
    I went tonthe closet. She put it on, with my help of course... It was a cockcage with spikes in it. Almost not wearable lol.

    "What you sent me is what I ever wanted. Get you under my full control. To have you unde rmy full control. But you always twisted out of this."

    This was the 26th of october 2020.

    First my wife, and now mistress, used me as her fucktoy for her full sexual desire.
    Several times a day ( i had two weeks off between my exams and the new job)
    Made me her personal slavefucktoy.
    She introduced and teached me in licking her into the heaven. Told me how good the taste of squirt and urine can be. Showed me how to use my cock for her. Trained me in cumcontrol.
    We switched our wedding rings against cockcage and key. ( without a joke!)

    Then she started to edge me and keep me more often in chastity.

    Well unfortunately it turns out that i am a better licker than fucker, so our marriage more and more turns into an almost-never inside relationship.
    She gets so wet from spanking, bondage and being a femdom and all this stuff.
    I dont want to know what the neighblurs thing, when we start our new normal.

    And me. I am in heaven. The kinky fantasies are not all fulfilled. Of course not, because these are her phantasies and sometimes they are also mine.
    I gave her the key and made her in charge. But I am so happy to be able to be a slave. I am so glad I have her, that does all this woth me and really really gets horny.

    I wrote before, that two years ago we almost got devorced and now she fists my ass makes me wear womens undies and so on. She is soooo dirty in her mind. It is crazy.
    She is a cometely different persons and can be the one she wants to be. What is great.

    Now she also made me quit my job by 50 % to be her house boy.
    Puh this was a short view into our sexlife and lifesyle.

    Well what do I want to tell you?

    Women are the born leaders.
    You as a male were educated from your childhood that women do this and men do this.
    Men have to behave like this ( mostly idiotic and unhealthy) and women have to behave like that ( mostly submissive).

    But i think you feel deep inside your soul, that you are differnet, that you arent able to fulfill this image of a man or woman.
    For example my mistress and I very often rushed against each other because she wanted to lead naturally and I tried to play the leader, which was a social programmed behavior. This made us upset.

    So what could be a help for you to trick your gf or wife into you mistress.

    Btw. FLR or Femdom is way different in a real life relationship than in porno or a playcouple. Just a warning. In the beinnign chastity is funny. But after two years.... It is not what you think maybe in your kinky rush. You change.

    As you see women are likely to be dominant. And they enjoy the empowerment, if we let them do their stuff.

    They love it, if you are the gentleman you were, when you dated her the first times.
    They love to get full attention. They love to cum first! Thwy love it if you gove them an orgasm in the early morning before she awakens by licking her pussy.
    I always sprayed my cum inside her without bringing her to orgasm and thought she was frigide or something like this. Omg. Shame. I made her unsatisfied and wondered why she had no fun in sex.
    Do we really need a cock for to please the women? Is our tongue better? Is this the reason cc exist?

    As you see our FLR is rolling and she gets more and more kinky, what your goal is with your gf.

    Tips.
    Dont be to rude. Dont be to fast with your decisions. She didnt watch the same porn as you did.
    Please her. Show her she is the boss.
    Tease her. Bring her to the thougth to be the leader.
    Tell her " accidentially" about a female led lifestyle and that you astouningly think this very very interesting. ( once she will read the UNKINKY stuff, she will like it.)
    Be the gentleman.

    AND MOST IMPORTANT! Dont be top from the bottom. If you are really submissive to much domination ( in my opinio the sib also leads) in FLR will destroy your plans. Dont trick her in. Open her new possibilities. Show her she is special. Lead her gently to her pleasure.
    Be her sexslave give her several orgasms in a row. And then you cum or you dont. And if she asks why. You tell her you want to keep it for her pleasure. It is for her devinity.

    Tell her, she is more beautyfull and powerfull than she ever expected and that this power makes you so happy and feeling good. That it attracts you if she is in charge

    I hope everything is written understandable.
     
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  6. billzboats
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    billzboats 63rd birthday

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    Well said King!
     
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  7. ChasteJase
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    ChasteJase Long term member

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    Well this post did not go the way I was expecting. I suppose I should’ve use the word “eased into” instead of tricked. That really goes to show that even with quotes one word can change the entire impression of a message. Thankfully there is some good content in the following thread that is more in line with the type of discussion I was hoping for here.
    https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...woman-become-more-dominant.46896/#post-537177
     
  8. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    My wife is also extremely vanilla.

    Yes. It seems to be a natural consequence.

    Sure, lots of them, in probably three different categories:

    1. She isn't sure, so she tries to tell me to do something but thinks I might respond badly (which I do not, of course)

    2. She starts to ask for something then realizes that she doesn't have to ask and she changes mid-sentence to a command (I personally love seeing the realization come over her)

    3. She doesn't even think about it, because it's perfectly natural that I have been waiting all day for a command from her and obviously I would never question it :confused:

    Sometimes all three show up within a fairly short period of time, and the order is random.

    I just happily do what she asks. (Or occasionally, I grudgingly do what she asks, but apologize later for the bad attitude, because I want to always do it happily.) Just make it a habit.

    It's a transition of power. When you let her lead, she will grow into a leader. It may take 50 years, or it may take 50 days, but it happens, because you have given her space and support.

    But remember, no one wants to be responsible for everything all of the time. Letting her lead doesn't mean you aren't responsible for stuff. Always let her get the last word, and make any decision that she wants to make, but don't burden her by forcing her to be a domme or something. Take initiative at doing your share of the responsibilities, and then take more initiative at picking up some of her responsibilities (without stepping on her toes, or "taking over", of course).

    Early on in my journey (five years ago ... I don't know how long ago it was), I was so eager to please that I'd take things over and she felt displaced, and unneeded, and not in control. It took me a while to understand my responsibility, which included making sure that I never did that again.
     
  9. ChasteJase
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    ChasteJase Long term member

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    @true42 - Thank you for taking the time to fully read my post and to give me a thoughtful and useful response. I truly appreciate it.
     
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