In the past my wife engaged in this lifestyle for us. I've slowly come to realize this time she is doing it for her. It's not like this came about in some earth shattering and significant way. Mostly we are both doing the same things and acting the same way, however I noticed these subtle changes that have made me realize I am having a profoundly different experience. First off let me say there is nothing wrong with doing it for us. I think that's a natural place to start and quite comfortable for people in the long-term. Nor am I laying claim to some new rank in the hierarchy of FLR's. It's just different, not better or worse. So what I mean by this change for her is that I used to equate much of the things she did as being done for the outcome more than the process. In other words we go the dentist twice a year not because we love our time in the chair, but because we want to maintain our dental health and get our teeth cleaned. Some of the things she did to me or for me, were done out of a desire to have an effect rather than some love of the process. I'm not saying this has vanished completely as she still does things to have an effect. She has changed in two subtle ways. First she's dropped or modified things she didn't care for. Secondly she takes much more pleasure in the process of doing them. Some examples are in order and the most noticeable is punishment. We used to have a highly regimented punishment session once a week. I got some pretty severe ass whippings that would leave me bruised for days. This was also a highly contentious point between us when she ignored it. While I hated the punishments it made me believe she cared if I obeyed her or not. Now she has no punishment protocol. If she is upset with something I do consequences are usually swift. The most common is having my face slapped. Sometimes the cane comes out for a few strokes or I get my balls slapped. All of these cumulatively are way less than what I used to endure. Maybe 10% of what I'd go through before. Yet because she likes this system she takes to it consistently. She can execute a level of discipline suitable to the occasion instead of a torrent in a random setting and time once a week. This overall has increased her confidence in her control of me. She has also taken to sensual dominance. Using her body and her words to arouse me to a point where I am putty in her hands. She uses this technique to do anything from verbally tease me about being locked up to getting me to beg to be allowed to serve her. It's not tease and denial or edging in that my dick is rarely involved at all. It's more of a mind game using her body and her voice. While not completely new she's really taken to this and enjoys it instead of woodenly going through the motions to get me to do what she wants. Perhaps most significantly of all she is really enjoying sexually denying me and the mechanics of chastity. I think in her heart of hearts she used to not love the cage. She saw it as a tool, but she didn't take pleasure from it. When she saw me naked in it she would say "ow, that looks like it hurts". Or something to that effect. Now she loves it. In fact I've been in a micro-cage for 3 weeks now at her insistence. She likes to examine it and comment on how good it looks. She gets really worked up talking about denying me and the control she has. I send her chastity and FLR memes several times a week. Sent her one the other day where the husband is saying "please can't we go back to normal" and the wife is saying "no, this is your normal from now on". When I saw her later and asked her what she thought, she said it was very appropriate. I told her how I had the impression that she was doing this for her instead of for us. I was sure she would object to this, but she laughed. Then looked me in the eye and said "I guess you should have been more careful what you wished for". I started to laugh thinking this was tongue in cheek, but then I saw the look in her eyes. I swallowed my laugh and actually felt a little shiver go down my back. Still giving me this look of what I can only call power, pleasure and triumph she told me "you're never going back, you serve me now". As I write this I'm still at a loss to accurately express how I feel about it. To some I would imagine it would feel like winning the lottery. I'm profoundly uneasy in that I feel like I am entering a very new phase in this unfolding relationship. I feel like I used to walk around with a get out of jail free card that has been taken away. I feel a distinct level of control has been removed from me. At the same time I feel deep appreciation that she has found this in herself and that I'm allowed to serve her. It's both happiness and uneasiness mashed up together. I am excited and nervous to see how it unfolds.
Your description is spot on. Nicely written. We seem to be on a similar trajectory. There is that point, when you realize when she is taking control of your life. It's a great fantasy until it actually happens.
Congratulations on your evolving situation, I know just how you feel! My madam has always been Domme.
So much for the lighter punishment. She had me take paddle, cane and gag to the office last night and after the kids went to bed she worked me over pretty good. She took a picture of my ass and texted it to me. Just posted it to my pictures if you're interested in that sort of thing. Put away one to many pairs of inside out underwear while folding the last batch of laundry.
Not that long ago, my Lady crossed that line. Once she fully appreciated what the change meant for her, my life changed dramatically. She has me begging to serve and submit now, and rules our household with unflinching authority. It is hard, but it is good - it’s worth it.