Strapon for her pleasure

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Howwedoin, Jul 31, 2020.

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  1. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    I’m looking for advice on wearing a strapon for having normal sex with my wife.

    I have always finished WAY too early and have never been able to give her what she deserves. I made a makeshift strapon and she actually let me try it. To my surprise she liked it but one issue I had was the lock part of my cage was hitting her. She’s not a fan of chastity but I explained to her that the cage kept me tucked down so I could use the strapon.

    More to my surprise, she let me buy a harness and dildo. I confessed that I want to give her what she deserves until she’s completely satisfied. This isn’t kink talk. I am not a fan of the hollow dildos because the girth is way too big not to mention too long for her. I bought a normal harness with two straps and a realistic suction cup dildo.

    Now to my question, is there anything I can do to keep the lock part of my cage from hitting her? Doggy style fixed that but she likes missionary. I’m hoping the base fabric of the harness overlaps the lock. Here’s the kit.
    https://www.lovehoney.com/product.cfm?p=30701

    The package arrives next week, I am anxious to finally give her what she deserves.
     
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  2. JCNTX
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    You could always wear tight briefs under the harness.

    I know you already bought yours but this is the one I have, it would completely contain the device and it gets incredibly tight as if the dildo is part of you. I is made for men.

    Harness

    A bit pricey but worth every penny.

    On size, you might be surprised what she could handle. My wife lovers her Vixskin and it is 2 inches thick. She goes crazy with it and she never had been a size queen.
     
  3. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    I tried a thong underneath my makeshift harness and felt like it could help. (didn’t get to try it though) It would be nice if I could go without but probably have to go with the thong. I’m going to start normal size for now. The nice thing about this is the ability to get bigger!

    Does anybody have a similar situation or experience like mine? I’m curious if it improved intimacy or finally helped with her. She asked if I wanted to try my contraption and after asking many times if it helped she sounded positive. It was just the cage hitting her. She’s way too vanilla and doesn’t like anything outside normal - I’m fairly certain it was because of my inability to perform paired with life in general.

    We’ve been married for 16 years together 20 with 3 boys 9 to 13 so things are hectic all the time. My goal is to hit the reset button in the romance dpt. Start off basic and I guess hope that she sees the potential and regains intimacy and TRY not to top from the bottom. Any tips?
     
  4. JCNTX
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    @Howwedoin Chastity in general has done it for us. We have more sex now that she does not have to worry about me. Used to be once a month at best, often less. Now it is a couple times a week, We have 3 small kids, so that is a lot.
    The other day we had a mid afternoon romp and I asked her after "would you have wanted to do that if you had to worry about getting me off too" she said "probably not"
     
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  5. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    Yeah...we’re once every 6 months....IF that AND I have to beg just to disappoint her. I’m being denied but for real! I always have hope.

    When we tried the makeshift harness and she was truly satisfied, she asked if I need to finish myself. I told her my exact feelings that made me SO happy to satisfy her and that it didn’t matter what I want that I just want to please her. She gave me a kiss and went to clean up. So I got to please her AND get denied. What a night!!!! I went to bed with a smile on my face finally!
     
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  6. JCNTX
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    JCNTX Member

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    Awesome your on the way. Congrats. We have only been at this for 4 months or so but it has changed our lives for the better. Keep it going.
     
  7. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    Is it due to chastity or are you using a strapon also? What is helping improve your situation? Has she taken some initiative since you started? It’s been years since my wife has initiated anything!
     
  8. Kylara
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    Kylara Active member

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    My Mistress loves PIV and now I am caged she has orgasm for her only and far more deeper than with my dick.
    We first baught a strap on for me to satisfiy her and a hollow dildo but finally she found that just a big dildo (2" wide, 12" long) is far more better than any others.
    Now I am the one who carry the dildo, moves it give the magic wand, tell her erotic stories while she orgasm.
    And when she desire my dick it is with lidocaine she also found than when I did not think about my dick but only on her pussy I'm a better man.

    So forget the strap, your dick is useless, just be prepared for it. Also now I do this she is totaly in love with me like the first time and wanted no more lovers. Of course I have no ejaculation in her nororgasm with her in 3 years but I'm happy anyway.
     
  9. JCNTX
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    I bought her the strapon before chastity.

    Chastity is what is doing it and NOT just for the sex.

    I initiated it and we have been on the honor system. After about 4 days in I start being more affectionate towards her and am very happy to give her foot and back rubs with no strings attached.

    She could see a real drop off in my attention after an orgasm and started getting into denying me.

    About 2 months in she also started initiating sex more, it used to be mainly me. It took her seeing that I REALLY meant that I do not need or want to cum. Once she realized that, sex became easier and less messy for her.

    The last two times we had sex, no orgasm for me, she initiated it.
     
  10. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    That sounds like us! I’ve initiated chastity but wants nothing to do with it. I reintroduced it with the harness and she didn’t complain or wierd out about it. I assured her that it helps point down and prevents poking her ass. So far she hasn’t said anything bad about the cage and it’s pretty much needed for the new harness. (see what I did there) My goal is to please her with the strapon and keep the cage on for the rest of the night for denial. Maybe the cage will slowly be accepted.
     
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  11. JCNTX
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    My advice, and yes I have only been at this a short time, emphasize the non sexual benefits.

    The better attitude, the extra attention. Also, emphasize the lows after you do have an orgasm. The moodiness, pulling back on the attention. Then she may embrace the cage more.

    Check out my first post here:

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/she-said-yes.38065/
     
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  12. JCNTX
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    Nice Bass by the way.
     
  13. ray-69
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    ray-69 Member

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    Hi
    Maybe this is not a solution for your lock issues (maybe a cage with internal lock?) but something like this would be fixed over the cage in 1 pull. We have this one also and it works really good, it‘s from vixskin too, but i couldn‘t find it on the vixen website.
    https://other-nature.de/de/sex-toys/ride-on
    Cheers
    Ray69
     
  14. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    I’m going to ease into this slowly and see if she’ll come around. I may start self locking but discretely. Thanks for the tips about the downs. I can work that into the reason for locking. Her answer to my horneyness is to quit going to these sites and working myself up.

    I have tried a sleeve many years ago (not like the one linked) and wasn’t crazy about how it worked although it was one of those flimsy rubbery ones and big. I don’t want to be in a tube because I’ll try to get some type of feeling from it and don’t want the girth.
     
  15. JCNTX
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    If I were you, I would not self lock at all. Go honor system and shower her with attention and love, not just the sexual kind.

    When you break down and take care of yourself, emphasize the post orgasm depression and cut way back on the attention.

    When she bitches, and she will, tell her that it was being Chaste that led to all the attention. Tell her you would like to go longer between orgasms but it is hard without a device.

    She will come to love that little device because it gets her what she wants.
     
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  16. Samir
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    Samir Member

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    Try face dildo
     
  17. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    I have a lot of work to do. I sure hope this starts something good. I was thinking about buying flowers for her the day it arrives. I also don’t want to change overnight. Start small. BTW I’m not one of those lazy people, I never sit on my ass doing nothing.

    In today’s situation she doesn’t care that I masterbate and doesn’t crave or want sex, just wants to watch shows. I want some type of affection from her also. She has a long way to come also. That’s why I’m hoping this helps - hoping I finally have something she can enjoy from sex an maybe start wanting it.
     
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  18. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Active member

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    She might just want her feet rubbed or a nice massage. Or watch trashy TV while you wash dishes and clean the kitchen. It’s all about putting your Lady first and forgetting about that little brain between your legs. It works for me.
     
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  19. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    Already do all that stuff! I’m always offering back rubs “with no strings attached” and body massages but always rejected. She seems to like them too. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want to move from the spot she’s in or be interrupted. If we could break the TV I would be happy!
     
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  20. JCNTX
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    JCNTX Member

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    We all can get used to our routines. Me and my wife were not to the point where you are, but were heading in that direction.

    Sounds like a long heart to heart conversation should be in your future.
     
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  21. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    Thanks JCNTX for the support and conversations. Congrats on your situation. I just have to be careful not to go too quick and make it about her.
     
  22. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    I would just make sure you have some underwear on over the chastity and under the strap on harness. Get her involved making the decisions on what to buy though.
     
  23. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Active member

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    That sounds like a very sad situation. If she won't engage with you and talk about what is going on it might be time to get a 3rd party in to talk things though. I used to think counseling was a crock until I completely and utterly mentally collapsed and now I'm a believer.
     
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  24. Howwedoin
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    Howwedoin Member

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    The good news is she was willing to look at the dildo and harness when I offered to show her. Normally she would say she didn’t care. I know my wife very well and she hasn’t avoided my conversations like she normally would. When I showed her the ones I think we should buy she said it looks ok to me. I then asked it it would be ok to buy and she said that’s fine in a positive manner. Another indication she’s ok with this. I did show her a few different dildos and even one I knew she wouldn’t like to mix things up....you never know!

    Counseling...cost, time, making her feel like she’s a bad person. Those are the excuses.
     
  25. ray-69
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    Tv shows are a pain in the ass and imho the undertaker of many relationships...
    Is there anything she loves doing with you together? Maybe try to make her smile before you buy the facedildo?
     
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