Starting at the beginning...

Is it normal at this point to have brief thoughts of “what the fuck have I done” as you realise you’ve given the keys away and have no obvious way back from this!

It’s not as if I don’t want it… but it’s starting to feel like this might actually be real and no longer just an idea in my head!!

 

they’re still there… I find myself double checking every time I walk in the room!!!

 

So I began 2024 locked. Caged with the key on a shelf above the bed exactly where I put it 11 days ago when I told her I was wearing it. It’s not moved. She’s not shown an interest in the cage or the contents.

But I have seen small signs of hope and improvement in our relationship. Simple and small things. The odd I innuendo joke from her, small signs she appreciates me a little more than usual, and even when out the other day she chose to loop her arm through mine as we went for a walk in the woods - next we’ll be holding hands again!!!

Are these signs of us getting closer? Maybe? I’m not sure - could be coincidence.

Honestly - I’d hoped for a little more I suppose. As I look at the first day of 2024 and consider the idea I may be locked long term for her to achieve a happier better relationship, I’d kind of like to know it’s having an impact.

Right now, a part of me is thinking of quitting and chucking the cage in the back of a drawer and accepting I’m just trying a silly fad and this isn’t going to work. Do I really want to lock up my manhood for nothing in return? I mean… I could just stick with the honour system I was doing really well at - I’ve not played with it since March!

So what to do… how long to I keep myself self locked even though I’ve “given her the keys” if I don’t see a sign of improvement?

Or am I being stupid? Are the signs I’ve seen so obvious from chastity that I need to man up and stick with it?

A part of me even thinks unlock and start playing with it again so she can see the difference!! But I don’t want to go back there - I can see I’m a better guy for no longer being a wanker!

So my chaste friends and key holders, please offer me your advice and words of encouragement! What would you do? How long would you wait?

 

Ok - thanks buddy. It’s weird… I’ve managed 9
And a half months of not masturbating… and I’m finding 10 days of being caged a challenge!!

ok - 4 weeks here we come! Would be so much easier if she took the keys and helped make this compulsory!

 

So you’re saying I should keep it on unless she says otherwise?

Sorry - had to read a couple of times to be sure… but I get you. And the fact my cage was hurting as I read your advice shows me it’s the right advice!

So basically I gave her the key and told her and she said said OK - so I’m in until she decides otherwise. I just need to be responsible and stick with it unless she says otherwise!

I get it buddy - so I’m gonna try to go with this bud. Thanks - sometimes we need reminding of the obvious!

 

I’ve got you buddy!! It’s not mine to play with!! It belongs to her and she knows I’ve locked it and knows how to unlock it so I wait!!

thanks for the reminder buddy - it’s just what I needed to stick this out!! Hopefully at some point she’ll see and become a bit more involved

 

Thanks guys - as the newbie in town I know I need all the help and support I can get. I’m sticking with this fora while longer!! Appreciate your help!

 

So this is day 13 - Having had a gentle reminder from @Shibmo and @secretdan - I'm back in the game!

I put this on to see if it improved my behaviour and relationship with my amazing wife - and I have seen small signs of improvement. But I was getting disheartened that bigger things had not happened yet... after just 12 days.

So - going forward. I told her that it was on, and would come off when she wanted it to. And I put the keys above the bed and told them where they were.

From here forward for the time being I need to accept that having done this she decides when it comes off, not me. If she wants it to come off - it will.

I don't want to make a big thing of it, and for so long as I have access to the key it will come off once a week for a proper clean and shave. It will come off for a long distance run (up to 5k I will still wear it) and It will come off when I visit the gym with the Personal Trainer (but will wear when I visit the gym for solo session)

This seems a good balance. I've managed nearly 2 weeks... so will tough this out for a bit longer. I will review again at 21 and 28 days to decide if i'm going to continue like this. Bit for now, it stays on as I told her.

It's not mine to play with!

 

Ok - trying harder. wife lost interest in any intimacy a few years ago, and doesn't want to talk about it. I've managed to use my abstinence and the cage as basis for some communication on intimacy, and seeing small - very small signs of improvement.

She agrees that since i've given up, she has noticed improvement.

 

I guess just physical intimacy... Recently have managed to progress back to more cuddling and some hugs.

Reality is I would like to have some sexual side to our relationship - but that's not within my control if she doesn't want to. Abstinence and chastity was my attempt to show that it's OK and I don't need it... and I don't want it from anywhere but from her.

 

Thanks bud - really appreciated! I’m beginning to think I need to start the process and go find some counselling etc… even if it starts with me and I get to bring her along later perhaps!!

 

My journey here may well have been somewhat short lived.

My wife has told me that chastity is "just plain weird" and that she is never going to do anything she doesn't want to do just to make me happy. So whilst she might "tolerate" me playing with a cage, it looks like it's never going to do anything for our intimacy so seems I'm back to square one again.

I guess the subject has maybe got us talking a tiny bit more openly - perhaps were at 10% of where we ought to be now. Sadly she feels she is asexual and just doesn't want to talk about it. I have to find a way of just living with it it seems and live in the hope that this is a stage of life thing and may one day pass.

Not much point me being here anymore... but thanks to @littleguy3 @Shibmo @secretdan and @Jay Sub for your help and support. It was appreciated even if I was only here a short while.

 

Thanks bud - I need time to work through this... and understand why. I've booked myself in for some counselling to help. I dont know whether the problem is the trauma we went through as a family a few years ago, the menopause or something else. The asexual thing doesn't make that much sense to me as I do believe she did previously "want me" and can't see how this is anything other than a change because of circumstances. I haven't given up hope of figuring out what those circumstances are and if we can work through them.

I'm effectively in chastity anyway - as I gave up playing with myself in March whilst trying to become a better hubby to be a more attentive and caring partner. A bit of me thought about just going back to it to show her the difference between a husband who wanks every day vs an attentive caring hubby who is constantly after his wifes approval. But I'd be doing that for the wrong reason I guess! I really would like to think the next time my cock gets played with it will be by her - I'm just rather unsure now if that will ever happen.

Who knows - maybe one day I'll pop back here and tell you its happened! right now that seems really unlikely!