Sightings - Chastity & FLR in the Mainstream

I think it would be good to have a forum for sightings of chastity in the mainstream.

I imagine it as having three sticky threads:

• Screen
• News - mainstream websites, publications and podcasts.
• Specialist - Papers, Journals and professional resources.

Those threads would be for linking and summary only. The any discussion would be on the rest of the forum.

This would get everything into one place so we could see patterns emerge.

 

Dom-sub and Female Led Relationships: Overview for Counselors

This is a podcast by a Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes, part of a series of resources aimed at counselors. She talks about BDSM relationships in general, then goes on to talk about Femdom and FLR. The site has some notes from the lecture, here they are:

Female Led Relationships
~ A form of a D/s relationship in which the woman takes on the dominant role
~ Generally lifestyle relationships
~ Can take 2 forms:
~ A relationship that revolves around controlling the sub and is generally dictated by the sexual pleasures of the sub (FemDom)
~ A relationship that revolves around empowering the woman
~ Subs who take to this lifestyle tend to fall into two diverse categories:
~ Those who have always been submissive
~ Those who are alphas in the public/vanilla world, but want to relinquish all of that control when they get home.

A Female Led Relationship does not necessarily include kink or BDSM

• Women in FLRs recognize that their subs benefit them by providing emotional, mental and financial support.
• In FLRs a subs needs are recognized. After all people will not continue to do things that have no benefit to them.
• Women in FLRs honor the subs who are completely dedicated to their relationship.
• Women in FLRs respect and support their subs to become better, and subs are devoted to ensuring their woman has all the resources and support to achieve her goals

Common Issue in FLR
~ Men are often seeking a FemDom relationship that is about her using her power to satisfy is desires to be dominated and humiliated, cuckolded, punished.
~ FLR is about empowering the woman to:
~ Identify her needs and wants
~ Be able to explicitly state those needs and wants
~ Get those needs and wants met to help her achieve her goals.

Why FLR
~ Some subs feel it relieves pressure both in and out of the bedroom
~ Some say that women are often more proactive at resolving problems…calling a professional when needed
~ Mindreading expectations are eliminated. In a FLR she says what needs to be done
~ Power struggles are eliminated
~ Just like any BDSM or D/s relationship, both partners enter into the agreement willingly, there are often contracts and negotiations and either partner can terminate the contract at anytime.

informed by Lianne Choo, Elise Sutton, Femdommed and LovingFLR

4 Levels of a FLR
Exploration: One partner has hinted at or directly brought up the idea, but the other partner is hesitant/ambivalent.
~ The sub begins taking on more tasks and chores and is permitted (expected) to serve or pamper her in a variety of ways
~ Women in Level 1 FLRs aren’t exactly comfortable with connecting to their dominant side, nor will they be able to congruently lead their man in any kind of direction beyond those which he has given to her as examples
4 Levels of a FLR
Beginning: The woman identifies some of the genuine benefits and is motivated to explore a bit.
~ Characterized more as an ongoing roleplay than an acceptance of the lifestyle
~ Woman in this level of FLR care deeply about their man, but have their limits.
~ She may begin worrying about what will happen to the overall dynamic of the relationship (and her feelings towards her sub) if she explores the path further with him/her.
4 Levels of a FLR
Engaged: This woman enjoys being in control and has a deeper understanding of her sub’s desires.
~ She exercises control in some of the 5 Fs:
~ Finances
~ Feeding
~ Fornication
~ Free-time
~ Friends
~ Higher levels of kink may be entertained here.
4 Levels of a FLR
Immersed: The woman occupies a position of genuine and total power over her sub/subs.
~ The sub is now a willing servant as opposed to playing a role
~ The dynamic has fully permeated every aspect of their relationship and the woman has full control of the big 5.​

She then goes on to talk about issues, warning signs and abuse. You can see the full article and listen to the podcast here.

 

I'm not sure how "mainstream" Vice is, but:

Why These Guys Put Their Dicks in Cages
Three men talk about peeing sitting down, the thrill of submission, and other nuances of chastity cages.

Also an older article

Three Days of Torture in a Male Chastity Device
Waking up with your dick locked in a plastic cage is the hardest part. It always takes a minute to remember why there is a crazy contraption squeezing the hell out of it.

 

Cosmo seems to have quite a few articles on BDSM, and actually seems to emphasise Femdom. Hurrah!

I'm still waiting to find an actual academic study on male chastity, though.

 

Here's chastity in mainstream gay culture, Out Magazine:

Locked Up: Inside the Community of Gay Men Who Are Into Chastity

In his first video to go massively viral, CagedJock — as he’s known to his 73,000 followers across Instagram and Twitter — is at home, fresh from the gym. He steps in front of the camera wearing a body-hugging grey athletic top and matching camouflage running tights. First, he strips off the shirt to show off his sculpted chest and upper torso. Then, he poses for a moment before removing the tights to reveal a completely transparent Holy Trainer v2 chastity device around his genitals...
https://www.out.com/sex/2019/7/25/inside-community-gay-men-who-are-chastity​

I do think that if it ever becomes mainstream (as in an unremarkable option), then it will via gay culture.

Mel magazine also talks about male chastity, here it is on Locktober last year:

THE MEN WHO SURVIVED ‘LOCKTOBER’ ARE ABOUT TO FINALLY TAKE OFF THEIR CHASTITY BELTS
"Despite all my rage, I’m still just a dick in a cage... until November 1st"

Michael’s heart raced with nervous excitement as midnight approached on September 30th, at which point he voluntarily slid his dick into The Vice, a plastic chastity cage with an “anti-pullout” device. The 28-year-old from Washington, D.C., had been pursuing his next frivolous nut online when he stumbled upon the website of Goddess Summer, a Canadian woman specializing in “chastity and keyholding.” She was offering a promotion for #Locktober, during which men spend the month of October locked in chastity cages.
https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story...bout-to-finally-take-off-their-chastity-belts​

Fascinating isn't it?

 

Unfortunately, key necklaces are a thing. However, I suppose that makes great camouflage.