As I described in my introduction message, my wife and I have had some form of a D/s relationship since we were dating, which has been 21 years. I also indicated that the past couple of years have been disruptive and challenging, which has really not left time or energy for chastity or FLR. About 3 years ago we hit a low point and entered couple's therapy with a therapist who practices EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy. This has been a transforming experience for us as it helped us become aware of our emotional triggers, identifying when we are dis-regulated and entering a cycle. As a consequence, we now feel like we have the tools to work through our conflicts and talk open and honestly about what is going on internally and between us. Another complication is that my wife has been para-menopause for many years and is now in full menopause, which creates its own complications but that is just the course of life. We certainly have not figured everything out by a long shot but two days ago I decided we were happiest when I was locked and focused on making her happy. I initially thought I would lock myself and try to keep it hidden so I would have the attitude adjustment without setting any expectations on her. That lasted for about 24 hours. The following morning I was spooning her and did not realize the cage was touching her and she thought I had an erection. At that point I confessed and she asked me why, since it had been many months since I wore any of my cages. I explained my reasoning and she said "I should have known" and then described how I had been more attentive and supportive over the last day. We went about our day and I picked her up after work to go to dinner. We ended up have a very good conversation and are trying to figure out how to make it work. She definitely likes the arrangement as long as I don't get obsessed or resentful when I feel like my needs have been ignored for too long. I'm working on that. Previously, we had kept a key out so I could unlock myself when needed (and for while so I could sleep undisturbed at night) and she noted that I "always had a key hidden away." So, I asked her if she wanted both keys and she said "yes." The keys were in the car, so when we left to drive home, I gave her the keys. I am now fully locked with no access to the keys. I also have no idea when I will be released or what I must do to be allowed a release or to have an orgasm. I imagine we'll be working on that over time, as long as I don't get too obsessed with getting an answer from her. That's been the hardest part in the past, navigating the space between us so I understand the parameters of our relationship and can manage my expectations without annoying her. I imagine this might be fairly common with some couples. My goal is to refocus my attention and my sexual energy into serving her to the best of my ability. That's what it should be about anyway. The challenge is that wearing the chastity device puts me into a hyper-sexual state, which can be annoying to her if not managed. I've enjoyed this forum and appreciate the posts I've been reading and some of them have helped me reframe my thinking, especially those posts from the women. Hearing the thoughts and perspectives of the women helps me get out of my head and think more about my wife and her needs. I hope to update this thread as things progress. I also hope it might provide an outlet for me to express some of those thoughts, which might tend to energize me to a level that she and I are out of balance...if that makes sense to you. Anyway, as you can imagine, snapping on the chastity device is not the end of the process, it's just the beginning. We seem to be fairly close to being in sync and committed to trying to make our re-commitment to FLR and chastity work for us. Hopefully, I won't screw it up and I would appreciate whatever support this forum can provide. Thanks.